There is no absolute truth?

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It puzzles me when someone says there is no such thing as absolute truth. I’ve found that to be absolutely false. There are two universal absolute truths in this world and here they are.

  1. If you complain, someone will jump in to tell you they’re worse off than you.
  2. If you brag, someone will jump in and tell how much better they are than you.

Mail in rebates are a waste of time.

 

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How about sending me my money!

 

It’s amazing that retailers still do mail in rebates. How about instead of offering a rebate you just offer a lower priced product by the rebate amount. You will move more product and not bait and switch.

I don’t clip coupons because they are a waste of time and I’m not going to purchase a product, cut out the barcode, copy my receipt and wait for the mailman to steal my rebate. Western Digital still owes me $50 from 1998 for a 500 MB hard drive.

YETI vs RTIC


I own both YETI and RTIC products. However, I prefer RTIC just because of the price. People are really obsessed with the YETI product name and will continue to purchase them even though it will deplete their bank account.

As part of my traveling and tournament soft/base ball essentials, this SoftPak 20 will almost fit under the ice maker at most hotels. If you angle it right you can obtain a direct feed from the ice mouth. I will also take along my Yeti/RTIC tumbler to fill up with rabbit turd ice from a Pilot/Flying J Travel Center.

Both Yeti and RTIC tumblers are great, they keep your drink cold for beyond a reasonable amount of time. They also keep your coffee hot and undrinkable for far too long a duration. I’m sure in about 10 years there will be a study that shows how we are all dying from stainless steel poisoning caused by a manufacturing defect from China. However, you will have money by choosing RTIC.

How to setup your social media accounts.

We all have that friend who doesn’t know how to set up their social media accounts. Here’s a technical tip to allow yours to infinite loop post to all of your accounts.

  1. Twitter auto post to Facebook.
  2. Instagram auto post to Twitter
  3. Instagram to auto post to Facebook
  4. Facebook to auto post to twitter

This should cause all of your social media account to continually feed each other all the horrible content you produce and cause mass unfriending. Enjoy…

Is there a LOL Day?

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If there isn’t already there should be a LOL day. There is a holiday now for every occasion, so why not for LOL’s. For an entire day simply put LOLs in the comment section for all your social media friends. Don’t bother reading the posts, just put LOL. Should be fine no matter what. Don’t just type LOL, but literally LOL. I mean LOL from the belly and make everyone think you are insane just for one day of the year.

How to coach from the sidelines.

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It’s tempting to coach from the sidelines, but if you must, remember these helpful tips.

  • Tell your kid to hit the ball when they are up to bat
    • Also to swing at strikes
    • And don’t swing at balls
  • When they hit, tell them to run, ruN, rUN, RUN!
    • Tell them to run hard!
  • Tell your kid to throw the ball when they catch it.
  • If they are a pitcher, tell them to throw strikes.

Stand as close to your kid as the fences allow. You can also put your mouth between the steel cage diamonds and shout unimpeded.  Have some prearranged after the game system of punishment if they didn’t measure up to your expectations? Let them know during the game that you are keeping track of all their mistakes.

Also, don’t do any of these things. Let the coaches coach and you keep your mouth shut unless you are simply cheering your kid on.

Do you still do date nights?

If you are married then stop calling it a date night. You are no longer dating, you are now married. Unless you are committing adultery or eating a bunch of phoenix dactylifera then it’s just a night out with your wife, husband, wifband, husbife, or whatever our country had defined two wedded partners to be.

Also, stop calling it babysitting your kids when your wife has a “girls night out”. Also, they are women, not girls. At least call it Ladies Night so you can get the Kool and the Gang song stuck in your head.