Resist or Coexist?

Clearly, this person is having an internal conflict that has surfaced on their vehicle via bumper sticker theology. Side note, how long do you leave a political sticker on your car even though the election is over? Do you still have your Dole/Kemp bumper sticker?

Setting up inside jokes…

laughingIt’s only a matter of time before holiday parties are here. It’s time to start learning how to behave at social gatherings. One of the most important and annoying things for other guests are inside jokes. They don’t have to be complicated, here’s how to get started.

Get to the party early

You need to establish an inside joke quickly before the other guests arrive, even if it’s five minutes before. Make a joke about opening jars of french onion dip. Then that night whenever your host says something about France, Onions, or Dip, bellow with laughter and nudge the host. If everyone is looking at you with complete dumbfoundedness, simply say. “Oh, you had to be there.”

Keep referring the inside joke

Even if people don’t care, keep bringing up the same joke and laugh even though it’s not that funny anymore. Make it awkward for everyone else so they feel totally excluded and like they don’t have any friends in the room. Don’t forget to put on your best smug face as you work the room.

Don’t ever explain the inside joke

It ceases to become an inside joke if you tell someone else. This nugget of knowledge is just for you and your host. The other guests don’t deserve an explanation. They will never have the bond that you and your best friend host have. Take this joke to your deathbed and rattle it off one last time before you pass on to the afterlife. It’s good to be there!



All garbage goes to the same place

scrap metal trash litter scrapyard
Photo by Emmet on

When I used to work in a cubicle farm, it was important where you put your garbage. Instead of throwing your waste in the break room garbage, walk by someone’s cubicle and toss it in their personal rubbish receptacle that’s near the entrance. Chances are they won’t get up and look who did it. They will enjoy the aroma from the leftover salmon that you reheated in the microwave. If they complain just report them to HR because they are not being a team player.

Psychic Programming is the Future

beverage black coffee business chart
Photo by Negative Space on

Developers simply need to be able to read the minds of their users and develop software in anticipation of the unspoken needs. One of my favorite responses of an end user is when they say “Well, it’s not working the way I thought it would”. Well, maybe next time, why don’t you tell me how you want it to work and it will be much easier for both of us.

It really doesn’t matter how well you build or anticipate the needs of the end user. You can make it as bullet proof as you want but within the first few minutes of go-live there will be a catastrophic event that will bring the entire process to screeching halt. Well, from the users perspective anyway…

Spectrum internet monopoly

The only option I have for internet is Spectrum (rhymes with rectum). To get a good deal I have to make the business and residential services compete with each other.

After getting locked into a “deal” for spectrum business class. They started offering lower rates and faster speeds. After several attempts, they offered to raise my rate to $349 a month rather than the $100 I’m paying now. Not that good of a deal in my opinion.

So I decided to sign up for residential service at a lower rate and faster speed. But now the tech for the business class came by and disconnected me at the street. They truly are separate entities because they don’t check to see if you signed up for another service, they just cut the cord. I called to see if they would come to fix their mistake and they said since I’m a residential custom they wouldn’t touch the line. I said it didn’t stop you from disconnecting my residential a few hours ago.

So now I’m at the mercy of Spectrum. The sad thing is if you are a business customer they will fix your problem within 4 hours, but now that I’m a lowly residential customer I have to wait for the first available appointment. Even though it’s their error.

Fast forward a year, I spent about a half hour today trying to give Spectrum my money for cable tv. The deal kept getting worse. By the time my base package was quoted, it was $160 for broadcast channels (no DVR) and internet. My current promotion ended and it was now $140 for both, which was up from $110 the previous month. So I ended up dropping cable and now only pay $60 for the internet. Now guess what’s showing in my newsfeed? Ads for Sling, Dish, and DirecTV. I will probably go with Sling since it works with AppleTV. I guess it’s time to switch back to Business Class.

Do people still litter?

Pennywise will come to eat you if you litter.

Yes, they do, and I’m not sure why. Well, for one it’s easier to throw your garbage out of the window for someone else to deal with. What’s not easy is putting your trash in the map pocket of your car, or God forbid you have a small trash bag in your car, and then emptying it out at the next destination.

The worst litter job I’ve ever seen was a man throwing entire bags of McDonald’s drive-through from of his window. Not sure if he didn’t like the food or maybe his family didn’t appreciate all the hard work he performed that week and he disposed of their dinner in protest of their ungratefulness. Nonetheless, I saw the car rock back and forth and then three large bags of food went flying. They were full bags too, fries burst out and went everywhere. It was quite a spectacle to behold.


How to reverse sear your steak.

Weber Grill at the Weber Grill, Chicago

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I’ve been eating steak since before I had teeth. Anyway, that’s what my hope is. My thought is my parents would put a freshly grilled steak in the blender and feed it to me in baby food form. However, in my adult form, I’ve adopted the reverse sear method of cooking a steak. It’s very easy and gives you consistent delicious results.

  • Purchase a 1″ thick steak. Ribeye is my favorite. Reminder, do not steal it.
  • Get yourself a quarter sheet rack pan (allows airflow)
  • Cover the entire steak in course kosher salt
  • Place steak on pan and rack and refrigerate for 8 to 10 hours. (flip it about 4 hours in)
  • Pre-heat oven to 200 degrees. No, not the microwave oven.
  • Cook in oven for an hour, flip steak 30 minutes in
  • Steak should be at 130 degrees.
  • Rest for 10 minutes, you too, you’ve been working hard
  • Coat the steak in peanut oil and add more seasoning if you like, I suggest Montreal steak
  • Heat your grill as hot as it can get
    • Alt Method: Heat a cast iron skillet as hot as you can get it, but don’t touch it with your index finger.
  • Sear on both sides for about 45 seconds to 1 minute.
  • Rest for 10 more minutes.
  • Eat your steak, it should be nice and medium rare with a nice crust on the outside.