Halloween Decorating Ideas

Since everyone is now decorating their yard for the Holiday, I thought I’d mention the best Halloween setup I’ve seen so far.

  • Police Tape – roped off area around the driveway
  • Police Car – lights flashing with an officer taking notes
  • Murdered Body – bloody sheet covering a body
  • CSI Agents – placing items in bags with precision
  • Body Removal – hauled away in a vehicle
  • Crying Family

Hmm, Maybe that wasn’t a Halloween setup.

Text message response time

My text message response time is quicker than ever before because of the new iOS features. But as you can see there are still ways to distract your driving friends. Just type “urgent”, really? That’s all it takes to derail your friend into the ditch? The easiest way to drive yourself into oncoming traffic is to simply turn off the feature.

But how quickly do you respond to text messages?

  • Spouse and Children = Within 30 seconds
  • Parents and siblings = Within the hour
  • Coworkers = within 2 hours (if you are dumb enough to give them your personal number)
  • Friends = Depends on if they need something, if they do, then never respond.

Are you a cat person?

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Found at Big Cat Rescue in Tampa

You really don’t own a cat, they own you. Here’s why cats are better than dogs.

  • They clean themselves, which makes them
  • Smell better (minus the litter box part)
  • They feed themselves by catching critters, reduces the need for pest control
  • They are quiet
  • They provide a calming effect when they sit on your lap and purr.
  • You can travel without them, no more than three days without a house sitter.

Fall is the worst season of the year

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I used to love the fall season, but now…

  1. Seasonal Effective Disorder is real
  2. All clients at work want everything done so they can relax by Thanksgiving and Christmas.
  3. Homeschool activities ramp up so we can enjoy the holiday break
  4. Crazy busy with sports
  5. Cold air now makes my bones and back hurt
  6. Mold is in the air and makes me sick
  7. Dead leaves are depressing, messy and moldy
  8. Pumpkin spice is disgusting and should be on a controlled substance list
  9. Making sure you start Christmas shopping early enough so you can actually enjoy the Holiday season.
  10. We have to mess with the clocks so that it gets dark too early.

Eat this every cheat day for better health.

Freezer full of fries

Ever since I started the slow carb diet, potatoes are a staple of the cheat day. In fact, I try to have them at every meal. Crispy rounds for breakfast, waffles fries for lunch and tater tots for dinner.

I bought a small deep fryer just for potatoes. I use only peanut oil to fry them. First I fry crank up the heat to 375 degrees and I flash fry them for 30 seconds. I pull them out and let the oil reach max temperature once again. I then fry them another 1 to 2 minutes until they start to float or look golden brown. Double frying them as described produces the coveted, “crispy on the outside, tender in the inside” cliche.

I’m probably eating so many taters because my potassium gets so low because this diet sucks it out of your body. There’s probably a more healthful way to eat taters, but I only got one day to eat them, and one life to live.

How to block an intersection.

It could be illegal in your state but that’s beside the point, it’s just plain selfish and stupid. Those white lines at the light are there for your safety and almost everyone ignores them. I know everyone is in a hurry, but sticking your vehicle out in the middle of the road just to gain an extra few seconds isn’t worth destroying your automobile or life. Drivers are notorious for inserting themselves into the intersection on a yellow light so they clear the intersection on a technicality. How do you know the light is about to change? Watch the intersection get flooded with cars.

Why I will never buy gold

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Fox News had someone hocking gold on just about every commercial. The pitch is that gold is going to skyrocket in the future as it has done in the past. By jumping into the gold rush you will be super wealthy and you would be insane not to do so.

So why is now the perfect time to buy gold? Well, the best reason I can guess is someone got duped into buying gold and want to unload it to you so they can get some real money. I will never buy gold as an investment because to me it’s worthless. What am I going to do with a bunch of gold in someone else’s safe? Or why would I be crazy enough to put a bunch of gold in my house? Who robs your house of all the gold? What are we in the old west?

When the feces hits the fan, no one is going to want your gold. They will want food, water, and other commodities. I can’t pay for my kids’ college with shiny metal. I can’t walk into a dealership with a brick of gold and buy a new pickup truck. If gold was so valuable why do these cash for gold places rip you off for your fine jewelry? Sounds like a scam to me. I’ll stick with burying my money in the ground in only places I know about.