How to be a Terrible Guest (Extended Stay Edition)

bedroom door entrance guest room
Photo by Pixabay on

Show up unannounced / Invite Yourself

Everyone loves a guest who shows up with plans to stay for several days/weeks.

Eat whatever you want

I’m sure they won’t miss the small cake in the freezer. Look for an expensive bottle of wine your host has been saving for their first anniversary. Leave your slop trough of a plate on the counter, you are a guest, you shouldn’t have to do dishes on your vacation.

Go to bed Late

Watch whatever you want when your host goes to bed. Hopefully, they don’t have a passcode on their pay-per-view. Now would be a good time to make some popcorn.

Sleep in

As you hear the clanging of pans with your breakfast being prepared, yell from your quarters about how you are trying to get some shuteye. They must know that you’re exhausted from watching all those movies last night.

Snoop Around

If they leave you alone for any amount of time, it’s a good opportunity to get to know them better by finding what they are hiding.

Smoke Cigarettes / Vape

If you don’t get a chance to stink up the guest room be sure to leave your butts in the flower garden. Be sure to tell the families, kids, that smoking is bad for as a urea plume is bellowing from your face cavity.

Stay as long as you want

Usually, after three days people start to feel uncomfortable with a guest being in their home. This is not your problem, start complaining about some of your favorites you’ve been eating and how someone needs to go to the store.