There is a white line indicating where you should stop at a red light. That is not for you, but for the car behind you. Get your whole car into the intersection!
If you’re the first car at a stop light, now is an excellent time to check your smartphone and catch up on text messaging. This will allow you to miss when the light turns green causing the person behind you to beat their steering wheel until their hands are a bloody pulp.
If you’re second in line, watch the perpendicular light as it progresses toward its tertiary state. In the split second before the light ignites green, honk your horn mercilessly! If a response is not obtained in no less than a nanosecond, start beating your hands on the wheel until they are a bloody pulp.
If you are trying to make a left turn and there is no leading green or flashing yellow, gun it through the intersection before the other driver can move forward.
If you are trying to make a left turn and the light is about to turn yellow, your full car needs to be in the intersection! Attempt to clip the oncoming car’s rear bumper as your final act of aggression.
If you need to make a right and there is one car in front of you, use the sidewalk or grassy area.
If you are arriving at a 4-way stop and another car is approaching, it doesn’t matter where the white line is. It matters who stops first. One car could be at the white line, but if you have about 50 feet before you get to the white line and you stop first. Go! It’s your turn!
The Daily Irritant 
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