Restaurant Seat Thieves

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Photo by Marta Siedlecka on

Go to Moe’s, Pei Wei, or some other fast-casual restaurant when it’s really busy. Find an open table and park your family there while one person orders. Get your forks, napkins, and drinks ready on the table in preparation for the food. If another family comes along with a tray full of food and there are no open tables, simply say you were here first even if you don’t have your food. If they refuse to move, sit on the floor and begin eating at their feet like beggars outside the king’s gate.

I know you think you are being efficient, but it’s rude to skip the line like a bully in the elementary school cafeteria. You know, the kid who steals extra chocolate milk and eats off everyone’s tray even though he has government coupons for a free lunch.