Hostility at the Hampton Inn

 

selective focus grayscale photography of baseball
Photo by Rachel Xiao on Pexels.com
Things probably could have gone horribly wrong once at a Hampton Inn. There was a traveling baseball team, who pretty much devoured all the food at breakfast if you didn’t wake up in time. I’m guessing one of the coaches or older brothers was having a bit too much to drink late one evening and starting hollering at me as I entered the snack area.
Him: “Who do you play for?!”
I made a quick pivot towards the direction of the yelling. My natural reaction which isn’t the most friendly, but it didn’t seem to back him down at all. He walked towards me getting in my face, the vapor trail of alcohol soon followed.
Him: “Do you play for Bartlett?”
Me: “What?”
Him: You cool with Justin Timberlake and all that S#!t”?
Me: “I don’t even know what you are trying to ask me.”
Him: “Someone stole my M…F..in’ lunch today…”
Me: “They have a good breakfast here, hope you enjoy it”
He kept talking while I walked away…
I looked for a Bluetooth earpiece, or maybe he was so drunk that he was about to pass out. Who knows…

How much should you tip a waiter?

I’ve changed my strategy over the years, but I do not subscribe to automatic tipping. 20% is the max and it goes down from there.

10% Deductions

  • If the waiter attempts to show off and not write your order down and either get
    the order wrong or has to come back to verify the order.
  • If your food has hair(s) in it, deduct extra dollar for coarse curly hair(s)
  • If the silverware is not clean
  • Your salads arrive a minute after your appetizer
  • Then your meals arrive a minute later.
  • Another dollar if you still have no silverware.
  • If you touch any of us.

2% Deductions

  • If the waiter gets your drink order wrong
  • If the waiter brings your change in a bunch of small bills without you asking
  • The waiter asks if you want change, no matter the bill denomination
  • You have to ask for your change
  • If your change is greater than you should get. (a bit presumptuous are we?)
  • If your waiter comes back twice within a minute asking if you are ready to order.
  • Your table has leftovers from the last meal encrusted on the table.
  • When you order water and they never refill it. (I’m cheap, but I’m still thirsty)

1%

  • For each minute your drink is empty
  • If the waiter asks _how you guys doing_ when you have your mouth full.
  • Ask if we “saved room” for dessert after we requested for a takeout box.
  • If the color of the ink for signing the bill is other than blue or black
  • You ask for Malt Vinegar and you get Red Wine Vinegar.

100% (yes, I will ask you for money or a free meal)

  • Spill something on me or my family.
  • Drop food while carrying it to the table and put it back on the plate.
  • Sneeze on our food in front of us.
  • Use a smart a$$ response while we order.
  • Curse and Complain about the restaurant or your boss within earshot of my kids.

Extra Credit

  • Smile
  • The waiter doesn’t write down the order and gets it correct in every way
  • Recommend something that you’ve actually eaten there.
  • Act like you enjoy your job
  • Remember our names

I know being a waiter is a tough job. I’m guessing because I dislike tough jobs, so I’ve never been a waiter. You have to put up with jerks and picky eaters and people who don’t tip well regardless of great service. Don’t work there just because it pays well, do something you enjoy. If you hate being a waiter, go find something else to do so that you don’t ruin the restaurants’ reputation.  The customer isn’t always right, I know that first hand. Customers are stupid and unreasonable and sometimes need a free side order of batter-fried crumbs with their long john silvers fish planks. Is that so much to ask?

What kind of things cause you to reconsider your tips?

How to use the CC field in your emails.

CC

Do you get offended when you are last on the carbon copy (CC) list in an email? Should you be? I think so!

Last on the List

It’s like the person considers you an afterthought.  Especially if it’s really good news. For instance, if there are free leftovers in the break room and you are overweight, then it’s like they are saying you shouldn’t eat because you are too fat.

First on the List

Being first on the CC list is offensive depending on the subject line of the email. If its about a procedure being violated or a new SOP, then you must be the worst offender or a trouble maker. It’s even worse if you are addressed and everyone else in the department is CC’d. For instance, when a new CIO takes over and he says to you that he doesn’t care if you wear jeans to work. The next day you wear jeans and your manager who doesn’t have this information yet, sends an email, addresses you solely, but CC’s the rest of the department. However, if it’s good news, such as free leftovers in the break room, then you should feel honored. Unless you are rail thin, which means your coworkers are trying to fatten you up.

Somewhere in between

You want to be nestled somewhere in the middle of the CC list. This usually means you are part of a group email or just on a shortlist of people who need to know stuff. This also means that you aren’t really that important either, you get lost in the shuffle and you will never get a raise or promotion because you lack initiative and goals. Wow, maybe it’s worse to be in the middle.

Of course, all these rules are thrown out if someone uses an alphabetized email distribution list and your last name is Aaberg or Zywiec.

 

Better Titles for Movie Sequels

With today’s attention span, Hollywood can’t run the risk of confusing the audience of movie sequels. Some choose not to number their movies, probably because the director knows their fan base is smart enough to distinguish the difference. It’s easy to follow the sequence of “Batman Begins”, “The Dark Knight”, and “The Dark Knight Rises”. However, if you are confused about “Breakin” and “Breakin 2” then you have greater issues to deal with. Consequently, ever since that Breakin’ 2 came out, I attach “Electric Boogaloo” to any movie that has a 2 in the title.

Nutrisystem Man Shaming

Hey Nutrisystem, I know you want to promote your product, but fat shaming men is not the best way. Don’t assume that all men are just sitting on the couch watching football and eating pie. Also, men can cook so stop with the gender stereotypes. I tried Nutrisystem for a month once and while I did lose weight as advertised it’s not a sustainable lifestyle. There are much better ways to lose weight than eating packaged food. The key is creating a lifestyle, not a short term fix.

Christmas songs in January!

Just because Christmas is over doesn’t mean you stop singing these songs.

Winter Wonderland

This song has nothing to do with Christmas. Rather it’s about weather precipitation, the perils of building snowmen, the migration patterns of birds, and making wedding plans.

Jingle Bells

Again, why is this associated with Christmas? This song is about treacherous winter travel and being left for dead after an accident.

Let it Snow

This couple just happens to be caught in a winter storm and the power keeps going out. This song is about someone who has been stuck in the friend zone and keeps waiting for that kiss goodnight but can’t take the hint that’s it’s time to leave. You probably won’t get that kiss because you have popcorn hulls stuck in your teeth.

Baby it’s cold outside

You are probably sick of it by now, but it’s still not a Christmas song. Probably the most disturbing of all the winter melodies. Loved ones are worried, waiting, and suspicious of a person who is keeping someone against their will with the lure of booze and cigarettes? Does this person have an addiction or is it just a case of Stockholm Syndrome?

Do this and you will never be depressed.

I wish it were that simple. Every January I get super bummed out. We usually take a vacation before Christmas and it sets the dopamine production into high gear. Once boxing day hits it’s a full crash. You take down the holiday decorations and you get back to your normal work life.

I didn’t think that Seasonal affective Disorder was a real thing, but once you hear it described so many times it almost becomes psychosomatic. They say that exercise is the best anti-depressant. However, if you are walking or running and trip over a curb and shatter your femur then things can get really depressing and fast. You will more than likely be prescribed addictive pain medication. That will then lead to constipation. So now you can’t exercise or poop.

The title of the article is misleading. You can’t be depressed without knowing joy and vice-versa. But if you get stuck on either end of the spectrum then there is something wrong. So what do you do? Life has highs and lows, but sometimes you need help to get out of the lows. Sometimes it takes prescription medication to get you out of your depression, but don’t let it become a crutch. Antidepressants are like a cast for a broken arm. Take the meds and talk to a professional about your problems. At some point, you can take the “cast” off. Or you can simply snap out of it like everyone suggests.