How to ruin your coffee experience

Stale Makers

The only thing worse than buying ground coffee is grinding it yourself in the store. Coffee goes stale in two minutes after grinding, so you are actually wasting your time to make your coffee worse. Not only that but you are mingling your beans with somebody who just chewed up 20 pounds of Folgers in these worn out gears. Buy a good burr grinder for your home countertop. Grind just what you need for your preferred brewing method.

Happy National Double Cheeseburger Day!

Specialty burger from The Pharmacy in Nashville, TN

While there are many national days than ever before, a double cheeseburger day is one that I can support. Double cheeseburgers are everywhere but so few can do them right. It’s not simply a matter of throwing double beef on the bun because you still need quality over quantity. The benefit of double cheeseburgers is the layering. It allows you to slip extra pieces of cheese and bacon in between the patties. It’s better than having one huge meat puck and cream toppings upon. So it’s important to have slender meat patties on which to build upon your masterpiece. Here is my go-to recipe…

  • The Meat – 100% Grass-fed beef 85/15, not too lean, not too fatty, seasoned only with Salt and Pepper or with Weber Burger Seasoning
  • The Cheese – Extra Sharp Cheddar, no question
  • The Bacon – Uncured Hickory Smoked Bacon, cooked in the oven.
  • The Sauce – I’ve been enjoying the Heinz Kansas City BBQ Sauce
  • The Bun – Brioche buns because they aren’t as thick and taste a bit like cake. Toasted just before build
  • Don’t waste any time on vegetables they only cause instability and slippage.

Pair this with a fresh batch of deep-fried tater tots and you have a meal I could eat every day for the rest of my life. No matter how much it shortens it.

Hand scooped ice cream.


I don’t know about you, but I like “scoop” scooped ice cream. Not a fan of someone sticking their hands into the ice cream containers and placing a glob on the top of my cone. This goes the same for hand spun milkshakes. Why would anyone want someone to stick their dirty digit into a cup of ice cream and milk and shake it? No thanks.

Best flavors of Ice Cream…

IMG_4248

Skoal flavored Ice Cream?

I’m guessing it’s dipped out with a scoop and not “dip” flavored. Wintergreen would be OK as long as it’s laced with Nicotine. Mouth tobacco is something I’ve never understood or cared for. I did try it once when my Dad brought home a case of it that was damaged in shipment. I’ll set the scene for you.

That night my mother prepared Tuna Helper for dinner and I had two hot heaping helpings. I grabbed a hockey puck sized can of whatever brand of black tar it was and stepped outside to enjoy a pinch. Well, I wish I knew a pinch was all you needed. I proceeded to load up both cheeks full of tobacco mouth mulch. It wasn’t long before I started to feel cold and tingly and the trees around me started to spin and bend in half before my eyes. My parents thought they saw a ghost as a bright white streak ran pass them and into the family toilet room. I unloaded the majority of the aforementioned tuna helper directly into the bowl with a single motion. Once I got a whiff of half-digested tuna and noodles coated in black soot the remaining chicken of the sea found its way into the sewer entrance to swim it’s way back home.

To this day, the smell of “dip” reminds me of that night.  However, I really liked Tuna Helper, but I can’t even look at the box now.

Pumpkin Spice Sneak Attack

via GIPHY

When did pumpkin spice get all over and inside of everything? I don’t remember it being associated with Fall as much as it is now. The Pumpkin Spice things have started rolling out in August there at least needs to be a moratorium until the first day of fall. You have to admit it’s gotten out of control.

BTW, pumpkin spice is CINNAMON, GINGER, NUTMEG, ALLSPICE, AND SULFITING AGENTS. There is no pumpkin in there at all.

Are you Old School or New School?

black and silver cassette player

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What does “Old School” even mean? I guess it’s the same as “Classic” or old for that matter. It conjures up images of senior citizens eating corn on the cob with their dentures. Apparently, corn on the cob and apples are the passing grade for all elderly dental work adhesives. Old school also renders mental images of break-dancers with bandanas and fat shoelaces booming their boxes with fun party hip-hop music before the curse word-laden rhymes took the spotlight.

When does it become “Old School”? Just because a restaurant comes up with a new recipe for a cheeseburger doesn’t automatically render all other cheeseburgers as “Old School”. The same goes for hot dogs and pizza. You’ve only come up with a new recipe, you didn’t change the paradigm for the food industry going forward. Wow yeah, you put a fried egg on all foods and now it’s new school?

“New school” is supposed to be cutting edge and fresh, something never done before. Everything has been done before, people just forget and steal other ideas and make it their own.

What’s the best sweetener?

Artificial-2
If I can remember, I try to bring my own Stevia squirt bottle or packets with me for my coffee. Since I don’t carry a purse and it’s more difficult. One of my friends suggest that I carry a bugout bag just in case the feces hits the fan, but I’m not there yet. I still have hope for our country.

If I’m desperate, I will use a packet of pink because it seems to have the least adverse effects on me. Blue gives me leg cramps and yellow is just a terrible aftertaste. I’ve switched to green (Stevia) because it’s natural and I now prefer it over sugar. I don’t even like sugar anymore. I can’t stand to drink a pre-sweetened drink with sugar because it feels like I’m drinking syrup. Don’t get me started on high fructose corn syrup

Hopefully, my kids will live in a low-calorie soft drink world where everything is sweetened with stevia. At least it will cover up the taste of the polluted water.