How to be a Terrible Guest (Extended Stay Edition)

bedroom door entrance guest room

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Show up unannounced / Invite Yourself

Everyone loves a guest who shows up with plans to stay for several days/weeks.

Eat whatever you want

I’m sure they won’t miss the small cake in the freezer. Look for an expensive bottle of wine your host has been saving for their first anniversary. Leave your slop trough of a plate on the counter, you are a guest, you shouldn’t have to do dishes on your vacation.

Go to bed Late

Watch whatever you want when your host goes to bed. Hopefully, they don’t have a passcode on their pay-per-view. Now would be a good time to make some popcorn.

Sleep in

As you hear the clanging of pans with your breakfast being prepared, yell from your quarters about how you are trying to get some shuteye. They must know that you’re exhausted from watching all those movies last night.

Snoop Around

If they leave you alone for any amount of time, it’s a good opportunity to get to know them better by finding what they are hiding.

Smoke Cigarettes / Vape

If you don’t get a chance to stink up the guest room be sure to leave your butts in the flower garden. Be sure to tell the families, kids, that smoking is bad for as a urea plume is bellowing from your face cavity.

Stay as long as you want

Usually, after three days people start to feel uncomfortable with a guest being in their home. This is not your problem, start complaining about some of your favorites you’ve been eating and how someone needs to go to the store.

Enough with the Daylight Savings

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St. Simon Island Sunrise

I once read a letter to the editor of a newspaper in which the person was complaining about springing forward. It was causing too much sunlight thus destroying their garden and lawn. I agree with this person. I think it’s time to stop springing forward. Let’s keep falling back though. Each fall we should continue to set our clocks back. How cool would it be to have our days and nights mixed up for a few years like newborn babies? To be honest, let’s start a petition at the White House to stop springing forward and back and just leave the clock in the spring forward position. Let’s let God handle the daylight.

Leave a comment below.

At what point do you abandon the idea of leaving a comment? I give up when I see the thread bypass a half dozen. At that point, the probability is high that your comment will get steam-rolled by someone’s “superior” opinion. It’s simply not worth the time or effort to debate so that you can prove that you are right. But really, we are more concerned with proving someone wrong in those debates, am I correct? I’m probably wrong, and I’m sure you will debate me on that.

However, It’s quite horrifying (maybe entertaining) to read through a comment chain once it gets over one hundred. You really see the broad spectrum of people’s beliefs and opinions.

Half full or half empty?

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Not Full

I’m neither a half full or half empty, I’m more of “There’s never enough” kind of person. Which I guess that would make me a half empty person? I guess it depends on the size of the container.