How to argue on social media.

photography of brickwall

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Do you know someone who is always on the opposite side of your opinion? I’m not talking about your spouse, it’s supposed to be that way. But someone who always starts out their response with “Well, actually…”

Star Wars vs Star Trek, DC vs Marvel, Republican vs Democrat vs some weird 3rd party, Christian vs Pagan (Don’t even get me started on the Religious subcultures, that’s an issue that loses more friendships than any)

Some people just like to hear your opinion first so they can play “devil’s advocate” and just to get on your nerves. It’s tough to be friends with people like this. How do you deal with it? Well, you can always ask a bunch of follow up questions if they are the type of person that makes statements. The best way is just to keep quiet and not share your opinions. Someone can’t shoot you down if you don’t give them any ammo. Read twitter posts, Facebook status and just grin and move on. But you can’t can you? So if you must be right all the time, unleash your best with no mercy and enjoy no friendships.

 

Infringing on animal habitats

I hear a lot about humans infringing on animal habitats whenever some new construction is proposed. Excuse me, but we are animals too, they can choose to live with us or just leave. What about our rights as animals?

When to hold in a fart?

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St. Louis Gateway
Fart Capsule

I usually don’t recommend holding in a fart, but if you can consciously help it, then don’t let it out in one of these places.

Close quarters
Such as the gateway arch transport, there is no escape and it’s just cruel to unleash your cloud of hatred here.

Church
Most churches have padded chairs, but you might find one that has the old wooden pews. Just blame your pillar of cloud on the spirit moving you, many churchgoers won’t quench the spirit.

During an MRI
You absolutely can’t move and it might destroy the image they are trying to capture. Plus only you get to smell it, and that’s no fun.

Elevators
I know it’s cliche, but if you must, wait until you are about to get off. It’s the quickest way to move your stink from the ground floor so that people on the 13th floor can enjoy it.

Doctors Office
It’s probably the easiest way to get the doctor to enter the room. Once you unleash it they will enter and probably put you on a probiotic regimen. Bonus points for holding it in after a prostate exam.

Tattooing your feet

I don’t understand why so many people are getting tattoos on their feet. Nor do I understand why people want to expose their feet and draw attention to them with a big flower. I guess if your work doesn’t allow tattoos, then you can silently rebel by getting one that you can cover with a sock. Maybe you can get a tattoo of a shoe so you can not wear shoes at work.

There is no absolute truth?

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It puzzles me when someone says there is no such thing as absolute truth. I’ve found that to be absolutely false. There are two universal absolute truths in this world and here they are.

  1. If you complain, someone will jump in to tell you they’re worse off than you.
  2. If you brag, someone will jump in and tell how much better they are than you.