Why do you wear socks and slides?

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Lazy foot starter kit

I understand flip-flops. What I don’t understand is the slides and socks configuration. The point of flip-flops is they’re easy on/off and keep your feet cool. Slides are easy on/off and keep your feet cool, but socks keep your feet warm. Slides and socks may be comfortable but it my opinion it’s a sign of giving up. You made the effort of putting on socks but didn’t commit to going full shoe. It’s like when people put on house shoes and smash down the heels. It’s just plain lazy.

I do not wear slides or flip flops out in public under any circumstance. My argument is simple. They are terrible for your feet, if you think about it they are not secure on your foot at all, so your subconscious mind has to make the foot work overtime to keep them on. This will put stress on your tendons and ligaments. Plus, you can’t run away from pit bulls. If there is shattered glass in your path while the pit bull is chasing you, the bloody footprints will allow the dog to track you if you manage to hide from him.

Finally, if you must expose your feet to the public, please consider something with a heel strap. Also, clean up your feet and toenails for goodness sake.

The proper way to wear a baseball hat

Do you wear your cap with the team logo facing forward or with the logo backward so that people behind know your favorite sports team? Do you ever see a baseball player in the field wear his hat backward? Do you also store your sunglasses on your hat and cover your eyes from the glare of the sun? The answer to the previous questions should be no. The bill of the cap is supposed to help block the sun.

At what age did you turn your hat around from the improper backward configuration to the proper direction? For me, it was never because I always wore my hat the correct way. It doesn’t make you look cool to wear your hat backward, it just makes it look like you don’t know how to wear a baseball cap properly.  The only person who looks cool is Samuel L. Jackson wearing a Kangol backward.

My Farewell to Cargo Shorts

26 Pockets!

I’m down to my last pair of cargo shorts. I’ve slowly phased them out during my weight loss journey. For one, they make my legs look bigger than they should. The second reason is I rarely put anything is those huge side saddle sacks. Whenever I did fill them with items the weight of the contents pulls my shorts down exposing my undergarments. That or I would forget about the items and they would end up being laundered.

I’ve switched to Nike Dri-Fit Golf Shorts. They keep swamp crotch down to a minimum. Combined with Bullpen underwear and there’s no need for adjustments. Unless you want to.

Thank you cargo shorts for being part of my capsule wardrobe for such a long duration. However, if I ever have the need to be groped by a TSA agent, then I will wear you through the checkpoint. Maybe I’ll pair you with a Scottevest so that everyone misses their flight while they search my 500 pockets.

How to deal with going bald…

 

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Nice hairline!

 

I’m not talking about going bald naturally. I’m talking about people who are shaving their head on purpose while they clearly have a full head of hair. I get it, it’s super convenient to shave your head so you have one less thing to prepare for the day. But you need to cherish every hair on your head before it’s too late. Coming from someone who has lost many hairs over the years there is nothing more frustrating than seeing the stubble line of someone with a full head of hair while my scalp looks like a mid-summer lawn that has been ravaged by grubs.