Zero wait time at Magic Kingdom?

Can you guess which ride? No, it’s not the auto-flush toilet. Even those have a wait time. On a side note, you should probably hand out fast passes to the toilet bowl near Pecos Bill’s after you eaten two pounds of beef nachos. It’s tough to find zero wait times, but it’s possible. Just a tip, if you ever see a 13 minute wait time on Haunted Mansion or Tower of Terror, there’s no wait.

How to hide your birthday on Facebook

I typically try to hide the fact that it’s my birthday. I go as far as to block people from posting on my Facebook wall. I also hide my birthdate in my settings. Mostly so I can see who really remembers. I thought I had it disabled today because I got a few messages from people who I would expect. But then the birthday well wishes started flooding in.

Facebook is really good for remembering people’s birthdays and guilt tripping you the next day that you forgot to wish someone a happy birthday. But let’s not forget the main purpose of Facebook is to go on religious and political rants so you have no friends left to wish you a happy birthday.

How to:


Find your birth date and click the lock.


Enjoy your loneliness.


Ice to drink ratio

Do you ask for no ice, extra ice, or light ice? If you don’t ask you will get a drinking vessel filled with ice and about one gulp of drink. I ask for no ice because fountain drinks are usually cold and I like full throttle carbonation for max belching power.

Hey, Quick Question…

questions answers signage

Photo by Pixabay on

Don’t you love it when someone asks, “Hey, quick question for you”. Yes, the question is always quick, but the answer and the amount of work involved are always exponentially larger. After a few quick questions, you find yourself digging a hole with a backhoe, but filling it back in with a teaspoon.

The sun finds a way in

Sun visors are basically useless. They used to be great for storing CDs in one of those bill fold things. They contain a mirror so you can check your hair, teeth, and eyeballs while you are driving before you wreck and scatter them all over the road. They are useless for blocking the sun rays to your eye sockets. Cars used to have extenders that would allow extra coverage.  However, the sun will find a way to fit between your visor and mirror. It’s even better if the sun flickers because of the tree line causing a massive headache, nausea, and motion sickness. Time to invent a transitions windshield.

Enough with the Daylight Savings


St. Simon Island Sunrise

I once read a letter to the editor of a newspaper in which the person was complaining about springing forward. It was causing too much sunlight thus destroying their garden and lawn. I agree with this person. I think it’s time to stop springing forward. Let’s keep falling back though. Each fall we should continue to set our clocks back. How cool would it be to have our days and nights mixed up for a few years like newborn babies? To be honest, let’s start a petition at the White House to stop springing forward and back and just leave the clock in the spring forward position. Let’s let God handle the daylight.

Favorite Driving Microaggressions

two men inside moving vehicle

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on

  • Using your blinker just as someone enters your blind spot, so they have the impression that you will run them off the road
  • Excessively using your wiper fluid so that it sprays on the car behind you.
  • Staying in the blind spot waiting for someone to enter your lane as you are inches from their rear bumper
  • Hanging your cigarette hand out of the car window
  • Not repairing dents and dings so others know you don’t care what happens to your car
  • Easing two wheels on the line as to look around the car in front of you so that you can see what the holdup is.
  • Driving in the middle lane, and riding close to the line when a car passes as if there are magnets in your side panels