Hand scooped ice cream.


I don’t know about you, but I like “scoop” scooped ice cream. Not a fan of someone sticking their hands into the ice cream containers and placing a glob on the top of my cone. This goes the same for hand spun milkshakes. Why would anyone want someone to stick their dirty digit into a cup of ice cream and milk and shake it? No thanks.

Best flavors of Ice Cream…

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Skoal flavored Ice Cream?

I’m guessing it’s dipped out with a scoop and not “dip” flavored. Wintergreen would be OK as long as it’s laced with Nicotine. Mouth tobacco is something I’ve never understood or cared for. I did try it once when my Dad brought home a case of it that was damaged in shipment. I’ll set the scene for you.

That night my mother prepared Tuna Helper for dinner and I had two hot heaping helpings. I grabbed a hockey puck sized can of whatever brand of black tar it was and stepped outside to enjoy a pinch. Well, I wish I knew a pinch was all you needed. I proceeded to load up both cheeks full of tobacco mouth mulch. It wasn’t long before I started to feel cold and tingly and the trees around me started to spin and bend in half before my eyes. My parents thought they saw a ghost as a bright white streak ran pass them and into the family toilet room. I unloaded the majority of the aforementioned tuna helper directly into the bowl with a single motion. Once I got a whiff of half-digested tuna and noodles coated in black soot the remaining chicken of the sea found its way into the sewer entrance to swim it’s way back home.

To this day, the smell of “dip” reminds me of that night.  However, I really liked Tuna Helper, but I can’t even look at the box now.

Pumpkin Spice Sneak Attack

via GIPHY

When did pumpkin spice get all over and inside of everything? I don’t remember it being associated with Fall as much as it is now. The Pumpkin Spice things have started rolling out in August there at least needs to be a moratorium until the first day of fall. You have to admit it’s gotten out of control.

BTW, pumpkin spice is CINNAMON, GINGER, NUTMEG, ALLSPICE, AND SULFITING AGENTS. There is no pumpkin in there at all.

Are you Old School or New School?

black and silver cassette player

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What does “Old School” even mean? I guess it’s the same as “Classic” or old for that matter. It conjures up images of senior citizens eating corn on the cob with their dentures. Apparently, corn on the cob and apples are the passing grade for all elderly dental work adhesives. Old school also renders mental images of break-dancers with bandanas and fat shoelaces booming their boxes with fun party hip-hop music before the curse word-laden rhymes took the spotlight.

When does it become “Old School”? Just because a restaurant comes up with a new recipe for a cheeseburger doesn’t automatically render all other cheeseburgers as “Old School”. The same goes for hot dogs and pizza. You’ve only come up with a new recipe, you didn’t change the paradigm for the food industry going forward. Wow yeah, you put a fried egg on all foods and now it’s new school?

“New school” is supposed to be cutting edge and fresh, something never done before. Everything has been done before, people just forget and steal other ideas and make it their own.

Best and Worst Times to Visit Disney World

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Walt Disney telling you to leave!

When a hurricane is there

The park will be closed and you won’t be able to get through the gates, well you probably could, but you would go to jail. Not Disney jail, but real jail, where the mice bite and try to violate you. However, if you are on the property then you are safe. Disney Resorts are made to withstand a Category 5 hurricane. They will treat you like royalty and since they are their own municipality, you will have power sooner.

When it’s hot

You will sweat profusely and you will get dehydrated if you don’t buy the $4 bottles of water. Don’t drink the soda and beer or you will dehydrate faster. And be broker faster

When there are numerous amount of people there

Holiday’s and weekends are the worst, and holiday weekends are a no-brainer to stay away.

When you just bought new shoes

That is unless you like blisters on your feet. Never take a brand new pair of shoes into the park. Don’t buy a brand new pair of waterproof timberland boots for your July trip. Your boots will be filled with pain and suffering.

When a new ride is open

Well, it might be a good time to visit other areas of the parks except for Pandora, Seven Dwarfs Mine train, or Peter Pan’s Flight

When a new area is open

I can’t imagine what masses of humanity will be drawn to the parks once Star Wars Galaxies Edge is open.

Remember, there is no slow season no matter what anyone tells you. If you are going to go, just do it and enjoy your time. If someone says they got on all the rides with no waiting they are lying, and you shouldn’t be friends with liars.

Bringing back old movies to theaters

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Windows XP on the Big Screen!

I’ve noticed an uptick in the trend to bring back older movies from the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s to local theaters. I think it’s a great idea, but unnecessary in our day and age.

I can see the appeal. You can watch an old movie on a large screen with high-quality audio. It’s easy to do now because there are no unwieldy film reels to deal with. All the movies are delivered over the internet or on hard disk drives that basically load into a fancy digital projector. Kinda irks me when they splash the Sony 4K logo before a movie. Really? You are proud that your resolution is lower than celluloid?

The real reason movies are coming back out is because Hollywood is out of ideas. They’ve rebooted every movie franchise they can think of. They’ve created movies based on video and board games. The only untapped market is the cereal industry. I’d pay to see a movie where Captain Crunch fights Count Chocula, Franken and Boo Berry like Van Helsing.

 

Does Climate Change Cause Hurricanes?

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Asking for a friend…

We’ve known about climate change, (formally known as Global Warming) for decades. For as long as I can remember I haven’t purposely burnt large piles of Styrofoam containers in my yard as to do my part in combating climate change. So with all the forced regulations in car companies making our cars lighter and more fuel efficient (and less safe) why are we still having a climate change problem? We’ve thrown tons of money at the problem, created huge solar farms covering up plenty of oxygen producing grass. We’ve built huge eyesore wind farms and kill birds. We’ve cut back on fossil fuels. Shouldn’t it be getting better and not worse? What are we supposed to do?