Beginners guide to vaping?

Most people set a new years resolution to stop smoking. I think this year I will start smoking. I can start with the lowest level cigarette skin patch so I can build up a tolerance.  Next, I’ll start chewing the cigarette flavored gum. Hopefully, then I can then graduate to vaping so that I can billow clouds of smoke to attract attention to myself. I guess my final step in the journey is to smoke regular cigarettes once vaping becomes too costly. It’s either that or putting my mouth on the smoke holes on the restaurant outdoor ashtrays.

I have nothing against vaping or people who vape until they start building their own cumulonimbus around a no smoking sign at a child’s sporting event. I wonder when they will invent a vape helmet so that that you can contentiously enjoy your emissions?