Tag: fast food

How to lose weight? It’s easy!

~ Alfred Tech

What a lousy way to save a buck. Like Mitch Hedberg used to say regarding KitKat bars, this Chick-fil-A salad tray is depriving me of salad. Is there a design reason for this other than not putting more salad in the bowl? Do the bowls stack better this way? No, it’s a cost-cutting measure meant to give the appearance of more while providing you with less. It’s forced portion control and if you are already choosing to eat a salad then why would they cut back? Don’t forget to add your 2000 calories of salad dressing to get your money’s worth.

So what is the best way to lose weight?

  • Count your calories with a ketogenic, low and slow carb high protein vegan diet.
  • Take ice baths under a cold shower while wearing a sauna suit
  • Run, Swim, Bike, and Lift weights
  • Take a diet pill with Ephedrine
  • Be consistent.

Is it really your pleasure Chick-fil-A?

~ Alfred Tech

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I know they are required to say it, but it sounds so disingenuous and rehearsed. I wonder if they have a code word similar to people at Disney World when they say “Have a magical day”. Maybe “My Pleasure” is the code word and they hate all their customers. Maybe I’ll just stop saying thank you and save them the trouble.

I used to avoid Chick-Fil-A. I realize now that was a mistake, but let me lay the groundwork for my insanity. Growing up there was only one CFA in West Virginia that I knew about. It was in the Huntington mall and they handed out free samples near one of the entrances. As a principal, I don’t trust restaurants that hand out free samples. Probably because they’re leftovers or food that fell on the floor. Also, I don’t trust stores that don’t have a brick-and-mortar establishment. Like those mall kiosks in the middle of the aisle when they jump in your path and try to rub lotion on you.

Back in 2008 is when I had my first exposure to CFA. My only concern is that I didn’t expose myself sooner because now I can’t stop myself from having CFA on a regular basis. It’s a cheat day staple. Since we’ve had kids it’s almost been a weekly trip to keep the addiction going. I wish they would branch out and open other restaurants. I’m sure I could get used to “Cow-Fil-A” or “Pig-Fil-A”, or maybe even “Trout-Fil-A”.

Dueling Dual Drive-Thrus

~ Alfred Tech
You chose the wrong line!

I’m not sure when it began, but dual Drive-Thrus is almost a deal breaker when choosing a fast food establishment. Chick-fil-A is the only successful one to date because they are a well-oil machine that does almost everything right. McDonald’s has to be the worst and here’s why.

Today I was picking up some breakfast sandwiches and chose the shorter of two lines (9:01am). That’s always a mistake because the longer line will zip through cars as the two vehicles in front of you will order one of every menu item. Once you get to the merge lane other cars think that if they jump in front of you they will get their food faster. Nope, it just causes confusion at the window. Case in point, the window person had to ask what I ordered. I just gave her the total she quoted me. I paid, then moved on to the next window (9:10am).

As I watched the digital clock display tick away minutes, I couldn’t help but think I could’ve baked biscuits, fried bacon, and cooked some eggs in this amount of time. By the time I got my order (9:29am), it was almost lunchtime. Yeah, about 30 minutes in a McDonald’s drive-thru. My kids said the food was hot and tasty, but then I explained what a queuing oven was.