The Irritants Guide to Pumpkin Carving.

Set your expectations so high
So that when it’s not perfect you ram your fist into it.

Pumpkin Spice Sneak Attack


When did pumpkin spice get all over and inside of everything? I don’t remember it being associated with Fall as much as it is now. The Pumpkin Spice things have started rolling out in August there at least needs to be a moratorium until the first day of fall. You have to admit it’s gotten out of control.

BTW, pumpkin spice is CINNAMON, GINGER, NUTMEG, ALLSPICE, AND SULFITING AGENTS. There is no pumpkin in there at all.

Do you take coffee with your cream?


Tea flavored cream?


I see more and more people walking around with what appears to be cups of cream with a straw to siphon out the contents. I hope there is at least a shot of coffee or espresso in there. People really like coffee flavored cream more than anything. This is evident because we have have Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup coffee creamer. We have pumpkin spice in the fall, peppermint near christmas and then what? Do the flavors just dissapear? I suggest we add a few fore flavors for spring and summer. Like tree pollen and suntan lotion respectivley.

Just drink black coffee! Maybe add a bit of sweetener to cut the bitterness of improper roast and brewing. I’ll pass on what my college professor told me about how to drink black coffee. Start with a cup of cream and add a teaspoon of coffee. Gradually reduce the cream and increase the teaspoons of coffee until it’s blacker than a blackhole’s butthole. Well, he didn’t say the “butthole” part.