Disney cast members do a fantastic job at keeping garbage out of your way. However, they are usually concerned with trash on the ground. I guess if you are going to litter, then why not be skilled at it. Not sure how this skittles wrapper ended up here, but I’m impressed. Won’t be long before guests will fling their refuse into the trees on the main street town square.
I’m not 100% sure if it’s legal, but I almost always drive behind shopping centers if I need to get to the store at the other end. We have a rather large shopping center with three anchor stores and if you start on one end and attempt to traverse to the other, you can easily add ten minutes to your trip.
Why does it take so long? First of all, you don’t want to run over the many pedestrians who are crossing the storefront diagonally. One of the anchor stores is a Lowe’s so you don’t want to take on a load of boards or concrete on a wheeled cart by a person looking at their smartphone and assuming no one is coming. There is also that other type of pedestrian that is overly cautious and think they are in a live game of Frogger. Just go, you’ve earned your right of way!
The only downside of going behind shopping centers is all the speed bumps, but it’s better than running over people.
I’m not pro-gun or anti-gun, but rather gun neutral. I don’t care if people own guns and I don’t care if you choose not to purchase them. I do think that we need to keep quiet about it. What I mean is, do not brag about it and cover your automobile with stickers. I don’t care if you hate guns either, and you should keep quiet about it.
At one point in history, there were no guns, just people smashing each other in the face with blunt objects. Before we figured out how to stab each other, we beat each other to death. You won’t fix the problem by removing objects.
The problem is not guns, but people. Just as there is not a problem with rocks, but people again. Do you think if God banned all rocks then Cain wouldn’t have killed Abel? Certainly not, he would have found some other way to kill him. How do you remove human depravity? Simply put, you can’t.
I have a long track record of ruining Valentine’s Day. Probably the worst was when I sent my bride-to-be dead black roses. I ordered them from a fresh cut flower place online. I guess they cut them wrong. Instead of telling my fiancee that I loved her, I was sending her a message of death.
One year I didn’t realize that a certain restaurant needed reservations for Valentine’s day. So after being mocked by the host, I ended up picking up Taco Bell. We used our wedding china, which was more romantic than The Melting Pot.
One year, I had to visit a client for work. Both of my children had fits of vomiting and diarrhea. I’m still not a VD fan, so I don’t do anything. By default, it shows neglect and is worse than even attempting it.
I now understand why people wear pajamas and house shoes while shopping at Walmart. However, If you really want to draw attention to yourself, wear a red shirt with tan pants to Target. If you are caught in this situation, you have two options. You can tell them you don’t work there. Alternatively, you can try to help them out anyway, such as…
Direct them to isles that don’t exist
Recommend certain “personal” items, and explain your use as we speak.
Lead them around the store, searching for items that don’t belong, like looking for grape nuts in the camping section
Rummage through their cart and say things like, “Wow, I thought this was recalled”
Offer unwarranted advice like: “Seems like you should be looking for the prescription strength deodorant or some age-defying make-up”
Offer to check in the back stockroom, and never return.
Say that you’re a manager and don’t “stoop” to the customer level.
The same could be said for a blue shirt and tan pants to Best Buy. If you are a tech guy, you will probably help them more than the people who actually work there. Knowing anything about electronics gives you an advantage.
Nothing is more frustrating than pushing a button for soap snot. I’m surprised that Disney World hasn’t adopted the foam dispensers. I love the foam because it cleans well and doesn’t make you rinse your hands for 20 minutes. I’m sure the initial cost would be huge, but the long-term savings would be tremendous. That way Disney can lower their ticket prices and offer free parking.
Made a hidden Mickey with camera angles (noticed after the fact)
Currently, we allow driving at 16, voting at 18, and drinking at 21. I propose to move these ages to 18 for driving. We should keep drinking at 21. Additionally, I suggest moving the voting age to 25, and here’s why.
No one in their right mind should let a 16-year-old drive a car. Cars today are too easy to drive. They have too many distractions. People text while driving or eat bowls of fruity pebbles on the way to school. Kids also were driving cars playing Grand Theft Auto and Mario Kart, so they’ve probably picked up a few other bad habits. If they must drive, let it be a vehicle with a manual transmission, roll-down windows, and no air conditioning. I enjoyed driving at 16 but really didn’t know what I was doing. I found myself driving as if there was a cinder block attached to my foot and not looking before I crossed railroad tracks. More on that in a future post.
18 is way too young to vote. Kids barely have the discernment skills and judgment to drive a car, so why let them drive to the polls and elect government officials based on what they’ve learned from The Daily Show, Facebook friends, or liberal college professors? There are no such things as liberal parents, that’s got to be a myth. (see below)
Drinking at 21 should remain the same. People ignore this anyway. There needs to be a 4-year buffer zone between fascination with alcohol and voting rights. How can you trust a person who chooses natural or Bud Light over Guinness? Sadly, some individuals never graduate from this phase. Either that or they progress to whiskey and don’t care about anything but whiskey.
Voting should be moved up to 25 years old. Society seems to mark this milestone age as where you begin making good decisions. Insurance companies recognize this by dropping your rates. Geez, even the government wants parental insurance coverage until 26 because they don’t think you can find a job and support yourself. By this time, most people have bought a house, tied the knot of matrimony, and started producing children. At this point, most people have achieved personal responsibility. They will want a limited government that doesn’t tell them what to do. They will want a free market to choose the products they desire. They have the liberty to make their own decisions without a government mandate. See, no such thing as a liberal parent! It’s just common sense, that’s all.
Making friends is an important aspect of life. Having a social support system can bring joy, companionship, and a sense of belonging. However, having too many friends can be annoying. They suck the life out of you by asking for favors. They are never there for you in return. So choose wisely.
Don’t be yourself: Be fake and phony. People say they appreciate honesty. However, when they ask you a question and don’t like your answer, their ego can’t take it. Then they will tell others that you are mean and hateful.
Don’t be open to new experiences others are trying to lure you into. This includes any multi-level marketing scheme such as cleaning products, essential oils, or something that will fix all your problems. These people will be your friends as long as you keep purchasing from them. Once they bleed you dry of money, they will discard you. It will be like throwing away an old television set with a broken CRT and no remote control.
Be “sort of” approachable: Don’t smile, but smirk, and don’t make eye contact. You don’t want people trying to create small talk.
Don’t post anything on Social media. This ties back to being fake and phony. If you must engage online, only show your highlight reel.
Volunteer: Volunteering is a great way to give back to your community. It can also help you meet new people. Find a cause you’re passionate about and look for volunteer opportunities in your area.
People love talking about themselves. Being a good listener is a great way to make friends. So try to interrupt them often about how whatever they’ve done, you’ve done it before and better.
In conclusion, making friends requires effort and a bit of courage. Do not be cowardly. Do not do the bare minimum to maintain friendships. If you put in the effort, you’d be surprised how many people will eventually stay with you.
The Fallacy Detective: Thirty-Eight Lessons on How to Recognize Bad Reasoning
If you are unfamiliar with the appeal to emotion logical fallacy, it’s simply about manipulating someone’s emotions. This technique is used to win an argument despite the facts. There is a new logical fallacy that is gaining in popularity. While it’s very similar to the Appeal to Emotion it has subtle differences. For example.
“I’ve got kids that come in this store.” could be deployed when a retailer is featuring some rather grotesque holiday decorations.
“My kids use this playground.” could be excreted when you notice a dog owner leaving a huge steaming pile of feces on the merry-go-round.
“My kids are trying to sleep.” can be shouted over blaring vulgar hip-hop music as the neighbors are hooting and hollering outside your sleeping child’s window.
This argument works better if the person has children. They can relate and they do not want any backlash in the future.
It really should be the right to get out of the way. You have a designated space to cross for store entry and exit, use it wisely.
Daily Irritant 
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