No more booster seat?

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When do you let your kids out of a booster seat? Whenever I want to, that’s when. I understand safety guidelines, but how is a booster seat going to help at the rate of speed that I drive? Or as a matter of fact, someone else is driving? A crash at that speed the child might as well be sitting on a stack of glued together phone books.

I remember laying in the front seat of my Dad’s Dodge Dart when we had a wreck and I believe I hit the windshield. But that part is fuzzy. I turned out fine. I recall taking a nap in the front seat of my Dad’s Dodge Dart when my father had a wreck and I believe I hit the windshield. But that part is unclear. I turned out just fine.

In my opinion, if a child can put their feet on the floor with their back to the seat and the seatbelt doesn’t choke them, then they are ready to toss the booster seat. Not out the window because I do not believe in littering.

*Disclaimer, don’t break the law, check your local guidelines and follow them. Or at least, don’t get caught or wreck. Oh who cares you are going to do what you want anyway.

Do you share music with your children?

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I’ll never forget the look of shock on my Dad’s face when he was taking me to school and asked to listen to one of my cassette tapes. I don’t know if he asked or I just put the tape in. Anyway, I played a few short snippets of the latest 2 Live Crew release. It wasn’t long before the tape was ejected and then very few words were spoken on the remainder of the journey to school. The cloud of disappointment was precipitous.

I’ve pretty much abandoned all Hip-Hop after 1997 because I really started listening to the lyrics and how terrible the content was. Turns out, I really only liked the beats and scratching. I’ve since started a small project where I will find the instrumentals splice together the hooks and scratches so I don’t have to hear all the vulgarities.

Now that I’m an adult, I’ve become concerned with what my children listen to. They don’t listen to much other than Disney soundtracks or whatever I listen to when I take them places. Don’t worry, NWA and 2 Live Crew don’t make it into the rotation anymore. The closest I get to listening to Luke Skywalker is the Star Wars scores.

 

 

When can kids ride in the front seat?

When do you let your kids ride in the front seat? Well, hopefully never. Maybe when they are old enough to drive. Once they make that move from the back to front they will try to control the A/C and SiriusXM settings. We have a 100-pound rule, once they reach that weight threshold, they can sit in the front seat. We figure by then they will be tall enough as well. So we have to control their diet so we don’t end up with a 100-pound 3-foot weeble wobble in the front seat. There are some stipulations.

Treating your kids like pets.

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As a follow up to a previous post, there is another phenomenon going on in our society where kids are treated like animals. It hasn’t reached its apex quite yet. This says way more about the parents than it does the kids. These parents do not know how to handle their own children and can’t set boundaries, so they create artificial ones.

You can make it look like a monkey on their back, but nothing is more demeaning than putting a child on a leash. What’s next, feeding your child from a bowl on the floor? Maybe take their diaper off and let them crap in the yard? Why not a shock collar and invisible fence so they don’t leave the yard? How about putting them in a cage so they won’t destroy your house while you’re gone. Wow, I guess I forgot what I was talking about. Maybe take off the leash and let your kid make some mistakes. That’s how they learn.

What are pet parents?

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First of all, pets are not children, they are animals. Yes, children are technically animals but they are a higher class and they eventually can clean up their own feces. Dogs can not pick up their own poop unless you consider eating feces cleaning up. Thankfully, my children have never eaten their own excrement, that I know of.

More and more I’m seeing dogs in strollers and in baby carriers at airports. People are using “service dogs” for all sorts of reasons. There are people who actually need service dogs and I understand that. But some people are severely allergic to dogs. If you are sitting near a dog, you are going to have a bad flight, especially if the dog takes a dump in the seat.

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Bumper stickers are taking shots at parents by saying that their dog is smarter than your honor student. Nonsense, let’s see your dog use a pencil and write their name or enter a spelling bee. Women proudly display “Dog Mom” on their cars, but we already have another name for that and it probably fits the bill.

Honestly, I wish raising kids was as easy as having a pet, but it’s not near as rewarding. Kids are awesome and not just because they don’t eat their own feces.

Do you still hold hands?

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I’ve never understood why people hold hands. I see many couples holding hands in public places. To me, it’s a signal that the person is saying, “Hey look at me, I’ve got another human as my companion, aren’t you jealous?” I also think these people are insecure and they need to hold that person’s hand because they are low in self-confidence or just prideful and showing off. However,  my children hold my hand when we are walking across the interstate. So there’s that.

Happy Mother’s Day

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I’m surprised that this phrase is not considered offensive in our fast-paced world of sensitivity. Is it more difficult to be a Mom in this society than it was a few decades ago?

Well no, a few decades ago you had small children, now you have adults that are your children and you can do what you want. But if you are a mother today with small children it’s tough because small children are hard to manage sometimes. However, if your small children are large then they’re strenuous to lift unless you are one of the weightlifter moms who gets your kids fat on purpose so you can build your muscles. That’s wrong, maybe you should just stick to weights and put your baby on a healthy eating plan. If you want to, I’m not telling you how to mom your kids.