Avoiding intersections


We know everyone is in a hurry, but just because you think you are special and more important than everyone else doesn’t mean you get to avoid intersections in traffic. We have numerous poorly designed shopping centers my my town with bottlenecks in and out. Luckily we have restaurant parking lots and gas stations next to these busy intersections. This way you can pretend to obtain a fish sandwich from Hardees or a Mountain Dew Code Red from the Circle K. However, you can then change your mind at the last minute and avoid a busy intersection.

Favorite Driving Distractions


I’m sure in the “good ole days” people use to read the newspaper during their daily commute. Before the cell phone in the 80s, people had to string two dixie cups between their automobiles to better communicate with their fellow man. Texting has made everyone look like a drunk driver swerving all over the road. I can’t wait until VR devices are augmenting reality while driving.


What’s better than waking up on time and sitting down to breakfast with your family? Well, the answer is balancing a bowl of cereal in your lap while trying to navigate 3 lanes of traffic because you missed your exit that you take every day.

Beating your children

If you don’t have one of those fancy DVD players integrated into your vehicle, then your kids are going to be wild. Make sure you have something that will reach, you gotta keep at least one hand on the wheel


You can’t check your mirrors enough! Point it towards you so you can’t see the 18 wheeler bearing down on you because you want to make sure your eyebrows are even. Impossible.

Advertising / Traffic Messages

Remember texting and driving? Well, billboards that flash, blink, and require reading are just a bad. How is this any different? They will gladly tell you how people have died while texting and driving as you read the stats and tumble end over end into a ditch.

High beaming other drivers

Are you the type of person that drives around with your high beams on all the time? Of course not, you are a decent human being. If by chance your high beams are ignited someone will send you a friendly reminder by giving you the double high flash. Rather than just dealing with the bright light for a few seconds the person wants you to know that you are being rude by lighting up the road even more for the safety of yourself. However, if you have a newer vehicle with LED headlights, other drivers will think that you have your high beams on by default. So they will flash you.

This is where it can be fun and or dangerous. When you give them your highs, they will be like, “Oh wow, they have really good headlights”. The other reaction is they will pull in front of you, stop at the next intersection, and get out of the car and approach you. This happened to my wife when she was coming home one night. So she backs up and turns around in a driveway as the person approached her. Not sure what was going to happen, but this stuff never happens when I’m in the car.

Moral of this story? If you have a newer automobile, drive with the high beams on all the time. At least for the first year until the oxidation fogs up your lens. Don’t be a decent human being.

How to exit a freeway

Just like the checkout line at Walmart, It doesn’t matter what lane you pick, it will be the slowest. Just be patient and don’t deviate from your lane. If you know you need to exit the freeway in a few miles get over to that lane. Nah forget that, ride the fastest lane all the way and squeeze in at the end.

Parking lot drag strips

photography of parking lot
Photo by Jose Espinal on Pexels.com

I’ve noticed that there is a sense of anxiety in theme park parking lots. Everyone is in such a hurry to get one extra car ahead. So much so as to almost cause fatal car accidents. Stop and yield sign lose their meaning. Flashing signs that indicate your speed only seem to make you want to get a higher number. For what? One extra parking spot closer to the tram ride? Is vehicular homicide worth it?

Favorite Driving Microaggressions

two men inside moving vehicle
Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com
  • Using your blinker just as someone enters your blind spot, so they have the impression that you will run them off the road
  • Excessively using your wiper fluid so that it sprays on the car behind you.
  • Staying in the blind spot waiting for someone to enter your lane as you are inches from their rear bumper
  • Hanging your cigarette hand out of the car window
  • Not repairing dents and dings so others know you don’t care what happens to your car
  • Easing two wheels on the line as to look around the car in front of you so that you can see what the holdup is.
  • Driving in the middle lane, and riding close to the line when a car passes as if there are magnets in your side panels

How to double park the right way.

Backing into a spot won’t help if someone double parks in front of you. Is there enough space to get out? Well, it depends on how much damage you are willing to allow to your vehicle. Don’t attempt to block in a car that is older with dings, dents and missing fenders. They don’t care about getting out unscathed.