Parking lot drag strips

photography of parking lot

Photo by Jose Espinal on

I’ve noticed that there is a sense of anxiety in theme park parking lots. Everyone is in such a hurry to get one extra car ahead. So much so as to almost cause fatal car accidents. Stop and yield sign lose their meaning. Flashing signs that indicate your speed only seem to make you want to get a higher number. For what? One extra parking spot closer to the tram ride? Is vehicular homicide worth it?

Favorite Driving Microaggressions

two men inside moving vehicle

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on

  • Using your blinker just as someone enters your blind spot, so they have the impression that you will run them off the road
  • Excessively using your wiper fluid so that it sprays on the car behind you.
  • Staying in the blind spot waiting for someone to enter your lane as you are inches from their rear bumper
  • Hanging your cigarette hand out of the car window
  • Not repairing dents and dings so others know you don’t care what happens to your car
  • Easing two wheels on the line as to look around the car in front of you so that you can see what the holdup is.
  • Driving in the middle lane, and riding close to the line when a car passes as if there are magnets in your side panels

How to double park the right way.

Backing into a spot won’t help if someone double parks in front of you. Is there enough space to get out? Well, it depends on how much damage you are willing to allow to your vehicle. Don’t attempt to block in a car that is older with dings, dents and missing fenders. They don’t care about getting out unscathed.

Text message response time

My text message response time is quicker than ever before because of the new iOS features. But as you can see there are still ways to distract your driving friends. Just type “urgent”, really? That’s all it takes to derail your friend into the ditch? The easiest way to drive yourself into oncoming traffic is to simply turn off the feature.

But how quickly do you respond to text messages?

  • Spouse and Children = Within 30 seconds
  • Parents and siblings = Within the hour
  • Coworkers = within 2 hours (if you are dumb enough to give them your personal number)
  • Friends = Depends on if they need something, if they do, then never respond.

How to block an intersection.

It could be illegal in your state but that’s beside the point, it’s just plain selfish and stupid. Those white lines at the light are there for your safety and almost everyone ignores them. I know everyone is in a hurry, but sticking your vehicle out in the middle of the road just to gain an extra few seconds isn’t worth destroying your automobile or life. Drivers are notorious for inserting themselves into the intersection on a yellow light so they clear the intersection on a technicality. How do you know the light is about to change? Watch the intersection get flooded with cars.

Don’t use your turn signal

auto tail light

Photo by Markus Spiske on

Today I was making a right-hand turn and my light was green. I ignited my turn signal and an 18 wheeler made a left in front of me as I hit the brakes. He waved and thanked me as he passed in front of me and as my life passed before my eyes. What choice did I have? I could have make the choice to not use my turn signal and made my turn safely. To be honest, the turn signal is useless in our modern driving society.

If you use your signal on the interstate, it notifies the driver on the left or right to close the gap and not let you over. Don’t think, don’t blink, just go! They will pretend you ram you anyway, and then throw their hands up in disbelief of your actions.

I don’t trust anyone who uses their turn signal before they enter my subdivision. I wait until they commit to the turn before they go. One time, they started their turn and changed their mind and kept going forward. I don’t know if I want to drive anymore.

Honking at the person in front of you…

car black audi tachometer

Photo by Tookapic on

Are you the type of person who honks at the person in front of you at the stoplight? I had an uncle who would lay on the horn as soon as it turned green. I’m sure the other drivers appreciated it.

Today I was waiting at a very long light which is now the new normal in my town. I saw there was a larger queue on the other side of the three-way intersection. No one on my side was letting anyone from that side get to the next queue. I noticed at least 20 cars from my queue without one of the others going anywhere. I wanted to ease their suffering so I let one enter in front of me. I didn’t have to let them go, but I know how frustrating traffic can be. So the guy behind me lays on his horn.

As we approached the stoplight I waited till I was first in line in the far right lane. It was a right turn on red freebie, but I waited. As I waited the guy behind me, again, was relentless with the horn blowing. There was a huge stack of cars about to enter the intersection from my left. As this person was about to blow a horn gasket I gunned it at the last second leaving him to wait until the next light cycle. I know it wasn’t the safest thing to do, but I was so worth it.

Lesson learned? Traffic sucks, let one person in front of you in jams by either waving them over or leaving some space. Don’t be a horn blower.