Things to NOT say at funerals…


They died too young.

Who are you to say when someone is supposed to die? Do you magically know everyone’s expiration date? People aren’t cartons of milk.

They are in a better place

I know we aren’t supposed to judge, but isn’t this the worse kind of judgment? From a Xian perspective, this is the kind of judgment Jesus told us not to make, this one is delegated to him. It’s between Jesus and the departed.

They are no longer in pain

Really? How do you know what death is like, it might be the worst pain you’ve ever felt during the transition. You have no gauge because you’ve never died.

They are no longer suffering

Suffering is relative so how do you know they were suffering before? Maybe they were having a good time from their point of view.

Asking for stuff

I don’t know what the grace period is for asking to take the departed’s belongings, but when they are lowering the coffin into the grave is probably not the best time to ask if you can have the flat screen from their living room.

Depending on your worldview some of these things could be true. Again you are making a judgment that you are not qualified to make.

I’m saving you a seat at church!

IMG_4557I can understand if you are saving a seat for your spouse, or visiting family members. Other than that, are we still in elementary school? It’s like saying, I really don’t want to get to know anyone new. I have my friends and I want to keep it that way. What’s worse is when someone else asks the same question as you are walking away and they say, “No, go ahead and sit down”. Ouch! I really don’t know what else to say, except, I’ll save you a seat in heaven if I see you there.

Keep in mind there are those type of people at every church, but don’t let that distract you from the content of the preaching, style of worship, how others are dressed and how many sermons in a row are on tithing.