No More CDs at Best Buy!

I think it’s hilarious that vinyl has become popular again. For the longest time it was all the rage and the only thing that existed. Did you ever listen to a 78 speed record at 33 and a third, it was quite amusing. Cassette tapes made music portable and CDs made it even easier to abuse other’s ears with your terrible music choices via your car loudspeakers. Now that we have music on our phones, you can carry a Bluetooth speaker inside of every building and force your horrible music on everyone’s eardrums.

I’m sure the people who are buying turntables and listening to vinyl are the same people who use typewriters at Starbucks. I think the next logical step is for people to install floppy drives into their computers and trade files via disk. USB is too mainstream.

What is the worst thing you’ve smelled?

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This DQ Fountain smelled like puke

I’ve got a pretty sensitive nose and I’ve always smelled everything since I was a kid. I have no idea why but whenever I pick something up no matter what it is I smell it. Smell is also linked to memory somehow, so I guess that’s why I have a good memory.

Here are a few top choices for worst smelling things

  • The back of my ear after I forget to wash there for a few days (take your index finger swab the length of the back of your ear and try it)
  • A blackhead that you can’t reach on your back that has been growing without your knowledge until your wife wants to dig it out with a pair of tweezers.
  • A sippy cup of milk that has been under the seat for months until the stink escapes the one-way valve.
  • I used to own a toy called a Stink Blaster, fun to play with at work, but had to keep it in a zip lock bag in the garage.

I know one smell that is supposed to smell good is leather. However, I now have a bad memory associated with the smell of leather. Back in 10th grade my biology lab partner who would wear a leather jacket and forcefully belch up his stomach aromas at the desk. So now when I pass Wilson’s leather store at the outlet mall, I can also smell the school salad bar and whatever meat product they were serving that day.

Probably the worst thing I’ve ever smelled is when I got home from school one day in Nitro WV. As soon as I got out of the car it hit me like a sack of soiled diapers that had been set out on the beach during the summer months. We finally tracked down the source. Apparently, there was a dead cow on the hillside and it was halfway decomposed and apparently exploded.

Facebook one upmanship…

Everyone loves to brag. Whether it’s about your accomplishments or your children’s it’s all about getting the leg up on the competition. However, some people don’t even know when you are competing with them. Here’s a good way to put this to the test.

Pick out one of your friends on Facebook. Next, copy and paste one of their posts, but change out the proper nouns. Try to take similar photos, share the same status messages from other websites. However, the twist is this, you have to make your status messages better than theirs. See if they notice after a few weeks of this.

https://amzn.to/2TxBjhF

Better Titles for Movie Sequels

With today’s attention span, Hollywood can’t run the risk of confusing the audience of movie sequels. Some choose not to number their movies, probably because the director knows their fan base is smart enough to distinguish the difference. It’s easy to follow the sequence of “Batman Begins”, “The Dark Knight”, and “The Dark Knight Rises”. However, if you are confused about “Breakin” and “Breakin 2” then you have greater issues to deal with. Consequently, ever since that Breakin’ 2 came out, I attach “Electric Boogaloo” to any movie that has a 2 in the title.

Christmas songs in January!

Just because Christmas is over doesn’t mean you stop singing these songs.

Winter Wonderland

This song has nothing to do with Christmas. Rather it’s about weather precipitation, the perils of building snowmen, the migration patterns of birds, and making wedding plans.

Jingle Bells

Again, why is this associated with Christmas? This song is about treacherous winter travel and being left for dead after an accident.

Let it Snow

This couple just happens to be caught in a winter storm and the power keeps going out. This song is about someone who has been stuck in the friend zone and keeps waiting for that kiss goodnight but can’t take the hint that’s it’s time to leave. You probably won’t get that kiss because you have popcorn hulls stuck in your teeth.

Baby it’s cold outside

You are probably sick of it by now, but it’s still not a Christmas song. Probably the most disturbing of all the winter melodies. Loved ones are worried, waiting, and suspicious of a person who is keeping someone against their will with the lure of booze and cigarettes? Does this person have an addiction or is it just a case of Stockholm Syndrome?