Every Hallmark Christmas movie plot line

Darth Maul Fighting off all Hallmark Emotions
  • Balsam Hill projectile vomits Christmas decorations all over main street, characters homes and office locations.
  • Love interest characters meet each other by chance, a small spark flies
  • There is some sort of problem to solve
  • Characters grow closer together and have many awkward almost kiss moments ruined by kid, or some other annoying character.
  • There is some huge misunderstanding because one character doesn’t have the full context of the situation because they overheard a piece of a phone call and takes it in the worst way possible without any followup questions.
  • Character leaves town
  • Character gets the rest of the information
  • Character shows up at the precise moment when things seem the bleakest.
  • They kiss with 2 minutes left in the movie
  • Credits roll

*No, I don’t watch Hallmark Christmas Movies.

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Favorite Christmas Movies

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Elf – There is a debate if Will Ferrel is funny or not. I think he’s probably the funniest in this movie and peaked here.

Christmas Vacation – Been watching this every year since 1990. I didn’t see it the first year it was out because all my friends went to the movies and didn’t bother inviting me. I am no longer friends with that “ringleader” for a number of reasons.

Die Hard – Saw this when I was a kid and I still watch it every year. Opening gifts and shouting “Yippee Ki Yay MF’er” makes for an interesting morning.

Lethal Weapon – Another Holiday favorite, who doesn’t enjoy Gary Busey’s wrist roasting on an open fire.

Iron Man 3 – I was pumped when I saw Holiday trees in this movie. Also lots of roasting on open fire references as well and the secret Santa for the barn lab at the end (spoiler)

Lord of the Rings, Hobbit, Harry Potter – While not technically Christmas movies they did come out at Christmas time so it counts. Same goes for Star Wars The Force Awakens and the Last Jedi.

What are some of your favorite Holiday movies?

 

An Introverts Disney World Survival Guide

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Walt showing you the way out!

Well, the title can be misleading, as a recovering introvert, you will be exposed to more people than you will ever experience in your entire existence. You will have to set aside your need for quiet, conformity and perfectionism. This will be messy, but here are my best tips.

Stay on Property

I don’t care how much it costs, don’t be a cheap-wad. Staying on property is worth every penny. You get a fantastic themed room, great bus service, and free parking if you get tired of someone’s butt in your face after you’ve raced to get a seat on the transport. Just don’t stay until the park closes, otherwise, you will be waiting in one of those cattle corrals for about an hour.

Take a small bag, but only one.

Dads, haul the bag through security and let your family browse the overpriced items near the entrance. It’s a bad idea to have everyone bring a bag. Your wife will thank you for leaving her purse in the car. I use a small sling pack that can hold tons of stuff. What to put in the bag? Keep reading. You don’t need much.

Bring a refillable water bottle.

Preferably one that is vacuum sealed so it keeps ice all day. Most places will give you ice and you can fill up your bottle at any number of water fountains.

Bring sunscreen

Just a small refillable applicator and face stick. You will get burned in more than one way

Camera with zoom.

Preferably an SLR with longer optical zoom. It’s a little extra weight, but worth the pain because of the quality of the photos. The photographers there will even use your fancy pants camera because they appreciate your effort. Plus you can get photo tips from them as well. Just don’t take that big camera every day, just on those days when you plan out your iconic photos. If you can get a deal on the Disney photo pass, DO IT, I regret not just forking over the dough and getting all those great shots.

Enjoy the park food

Pack only a few snacks for when you or your family gets hangry. Beef Jerky, Slim Jims, Nuts, Granola bars something with protein, stuff that won’t melt. Enjoy the food in the park as much as you can. Again don’t be cheap, eat and enjoy the park food. Book a nice sit-down restaurant too.

Fast passes

No brainer, get them for later in the day and head for the rides you want first as soon as the gates open. For instance, hit the Seven Dwarfs mine train first and then use your fast pass later. Or just visit all the other rides while people pile on the most popular. Staying on the property will get you a 60-day head start on getting fast passes.

Stay at least 4 days

Spend at least an entire day at each park. Most people skimp on the Animal Kingdom, but there is plenty to do there. It’s not all about thrill rides. Thrill your brain and learn some stuff. Also, try to visit during Christmas time, the Magic Kingdom is way better when all the sights, sounds and music of Christmas are up and running.

Get the park hopper option

We end up going to the Magic Kingdom every evening after we’ve exhausted our time at other parks. There is nothing quite like the Magic Kingdom at night.

Take care of your feet!

I can’t stress this enough, you will be walking miles per day. My personal best is 14 miles in a single day. Wear proper fitting and breathable shoes. Wear anti-friction socks and let them air out when you get back to the hotel. I managed to remain blister free on my last two trips. Leave the flip-flop and slides at the hotel for the pool.

Also, if you have small children, don’t ride the haunted mansion first.

 

 

Driving to rent Digital movies

What’s more convenient than downloading a digital movie? Buying a code online, driving to a box, getting a disc, and then downloading a movie and then throwing away some trash. The whole reason I go to Redbox is to get a high-quality physical media disc for a second rate movie. I cringe when I watch a movie on demand or Netflix because of buffering and pixelation of the dark backgrounds. I wonder how many movies are streamed at the theater? Would the average moviegoer notice the difference?

Spectrum internet monopoly

The only option I have for internet is Spectrum (rhymes with rectum). To get a good deal I have to make the business and residential services compete with each other.

After getting locked into a “deal” for spectrum business class. They started offering lower rates and faster speeds. After several attempts, they offered to raise my rate to $349 a month rather than the $100 I’m paying now. Not that good of a deal in my opinion.

So I decided to sign up for residential service at a lower rate and faster speed. But now the tech for the business class came by and disconnected me at the street. They truly are separate entities because they don’t check to see if you signed up for another service, they just cut the cord. I called to see if they would come to fix their mistake and they said since I’m a residential custom they wouldn’t touch the line. I said it didn’t stop you from disconnecting my residential a few hours ago.

So now I’m at the mercy of Spectrum. The sad thing is if you are a business customer they will fix your problem within 4 hours, but now that I’m a lowly residential customer I have to wait for the first available appointment. Even though it’s their error.

Fast forward a year, I spent about a half hour today trying to give Spectrum my money for cable tv. The deal kept getting worse. By the time my base package was quoted, it was $160 for broadcast channels (no DVR) and internet. My current promotion ended and it was now $140 for both, which was up from $110 the previous month. So I ended up dropping cable and now only pay $60 for the internet. Now guess what’s showing in my newsfeed? Ads for Sling, Dish, and DirecTV. I will probably go with Sling since it works with AppleTV. I guess it’s time to switch back to Business Class.

Is Sirius XM worth the money?

After about a month, Sirius XM gets old and repeaty. I took a trip to the grocery store and heard the long version of the Humpty Dance on Backspin. Once I got tired of the endless loop, I flipped over to 90’s on 9 where the Humpty Dance was just beginning. Also, you can only hear Downtown Julie Brown so many times before you want to jump out of the door on the interstate pavement.

You will get your three month preview whenever you get a new car, but that’s as far as you should go. One time, I made the mistake of getting the 6 month extension for $29 ($36 after fees), so I was stuck hearing Humpty Hump for a few more months. BTW, Sirius XM doesn’t work well if there are trees around or you pull into a gas station. The signal will go out because you need a line of sight to the satellite.  Once your free trial is up I suggest Apple Music if you are an iPhone user. That way you can put Humpty on repeat to your heart’s desire.

Blocking pop-ups from magazines…

IMG_2873It sounds like a contradictory non-sensible statement but I’m talking about the little card that flies out of a magazine when you thumb through the pages. These are the equivalent of pop-up ads on websites. Now that add blockers are basically useless you have to go back to print media to get your news, but now you have to deal with Geico shoving a card within each page.

Whenever I get a new magazine, which is rare these days. I will take it directly to the garbage can with the widest opening. I shake the magazine until all the cards fall out and then enjoy the magazine as it was intended. You know, a few articles and embedded ads.