Navigating Bathroom Breaks During Long Drives

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It never fails, you’ve been on the road for hours upon hours. You’ve tried to hold your urine as long as possible because you want to make it home without using another filthy gas station toilet. Last twenty minutes or so before you reach your destination, a car darts out in front of you. There was clearly no one behind them for 30 miles, but they felt this was the best chance they had to enter the roadway. This causes your brake pads to become one with the rotors as it sends your leftover Popeye’s chicken crumbs flying on the dashboard.

They are in no hurry either! They cautiously slow down at every side street just in case there is someone dumb enough to pull out in front of them. By now you can feel the bladder distension and infection forming from all the Pilot Coffee that’s been brewing in there all day. You then realize this person in front of you lives just down the street and you’ll be following them all the way to your house. Don’t hold it too long or you may get a kidney stone. Time to look for one of those empty coffee cups.

Is Chick-Fil-A Worth the Hype?

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I know they are required to say “It’s my pleasure”, but it sounds so disingenuous and rehearsed. I wonder if they have a code word similar to people at Disney World when they say “Have a magical day”. Maybe “My Pleasure” is the code word and they hate all their customers. Perhaps I’ll just stop saying thank you and save them the trouble.

I used to avoid Chick-fil-A. I realize now that was a mistake, but let me lay the groundwork for my insanity. Growing up, there was only one Chick-fil-A in West Virginia that I knew about. It was in the Huntington Mall, and they handed out free samples near one of the entrances. In principle, I don’t trust restaurants that hand out free samples. Probably because they’re leftovers or food that fell on the floor. Also, I don’t trust stores that don’t have a brick-and-mortar establishment. Like those mall kiosks in the middle of the aisle when they jump in your path and try to rub lotion on you.

Back in 2008, I had my first exposure to Chick-fil-A. My only concern is that I didn’t expose myself sooner because, for a while, I couldn’t stop myself from having Chick-fil-A regularly. It was a cheat day staple. However, in the past year or two, I’ve had quite enough of their antics. Long drive-thru line, stale fries, sandwiches that were in the bag too long. My last visit was a simple number one combo that I had to wait 20 minutes for after I had to pull forward and wait in a designated area while 20 other cars behind me got their food and went on their merry way.

I’m still waiting on them to branch out and open other restaurants. I’m sure I could get used to “Cow-Fil-A” or “Pig-Fil-A”, or maybe even “Trout-Fil-A”. Chick-fil-A is played out.

The Truth Behind ‘Growing Up Too Fast’

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“They grew up too fast!”

People are always saying this about their children. However, it’s very sad for me. Usually, people say this when they haven’t seen their kids in a while because the lapse in time periods makes it seem as if the child is growing at an alarming rate. It’s even worse if a parent says this about their own kids. It makes me think that you are not paying attention to your kid. Unless you are injecting your kids with HGH or they have a pituitary gland disorder then your kids are probably growing at a normal pace for a human. Or maybe it’s just a figure of speech, who knows!

THE IMPORTANCE OF STANDING UP AGAINST IMPERIAL CHRISTIANITY

Here’s a quote

When Christianity spread into the Roman Empire it got absorbed into the culture of patriarchy, nationalism and, eventually, capitalism. The faith was morphed from a message of liberation for all the wretched of the earth into a self-righteous cudgel for the rich and powerful.
As you may know by now, the Roman emperor Constantine forced Christian bishops to come up with creedal statements that had little or nothing to do with the original teachings of Jesus. For many, the Christian religion was reduced to supernatural claims, cultic moralism and shameless toadying to the hierarchy of the day. For many, Christianity was reframed from a religion of empathic servanthood to one of judgmental sectarian control.
The new imperial Christians were superstitious and ignorant about this world, but felt they were experts on the world to come. The new imperial Christians weren’t so good at loving their non-Christian neighbors, but felt they were good neighbors to their new and improved Jesus who now preferred working through the rich and powerful, and was no longer concerned with the poor and outcast.
I believe there is confusion in calling the Christianity of Constantine and that of Jesus by the same name. I’m not saying we should argue about who gets the label, but it is important for somebody to say if some Christians want to force their dogma into the public square, that is the Christianity of Constantine not Jesus!
Somebody needs to say, If there is a mass shooting and some Christians are more concerned about protecting their guns than the children, that is the Christianity of Constantine not Jesus!
Somebody needs to say if some Christians are more concerned about the the success of the American economy than the plight of the working poor, that is the Christianity of Constantine not Jesus!
And, finally, somebody needs to say, if the cross is a symbol of Christian superiority instead of a call to suffer on behalf of the oppressed of every nation, that is the Christianity of Constantine not Jesus!”

This statement is a passionate, rhetorically charged critique of what the author perceives as a distortion of Christianity through its historical entanglement with political power, especially during and after the time of Constantine. It blends historical commentary with moral and theological judgment. Let’s break it down in terms of accuracy and logical fallacies:

🔍 Accuracy

✅ Historically grounded elements:

  1. Constantine and Christianity:
    • It’s accurate that under Constantine (early 4th century), Christianity transitioned from a persecuted sect to a religion with state backing.
    • The First Council of Nicaea (325 CE) was convened under Constantine, and it did result in a creedal statement (the Nicene Creed). However, the idea that Constantine “forced” bishops to create creeds that had “little or nothing” to do with Jesus’ teachings is an overstatement. The council aimed to resolve theological disputes (like Arianism), not to invent Christianity anew.
  2. Christianity and power:
    • There’s scholarly consensus that after Constantine, Christianity increasingly aligned with imperial power. This alignment likely altered the tone and priorities of the institutional church—though to say the entire faith was reduced to “toadying” is more polemical than precise.
  3. Critique of modern political alliances:
    • The statement critiques modern Christianity’s associations with gun rights, nationalism, and capitalism. These critiques are interpretative rather than factual—they reflect a particular moral or theological perspective, not an empirical claim.

⚠️ Logical Fallacies and Rhetorical Devices

1. Hasty Generalization

  • The phrase “the new imperial Christians weren’t so good at loving their non-Christian neighbors” generalizes a vast and diverse group. Not all Christians under imperial Rome—or now—fit these critiques.

2. False Dichotomy (Either-Or Fallacy)

  • The argument often frames two mutually exclusive Christianities: Jesus’ Christianity (pure, servant-hearted) vs. Constantine’s Christianity (corrupt, power-hungry). Reality is more nuanced. Throughout history, many believers have expressed both sincere faith and problematic entanglements with power.

3. Appeal to Emotion

  • Lines like “more concerned about protecting their guns than the children” use emotionally powerful language to provoke a moral response. This doesn’t make the point false, but it’s more rhetorical than logical.

4. No True Scotsman

  • The assertion that certain political or cultural expressions of Christianity are “not the Christianity of Jesus” can lean into this fallacy: redefining a group in a way that excludes counterexamples (e.g., “no true Christian would do that”).

5. Slippery Slope (implied)

  • There’s an underlying suggestion that once Christianity became entangled with empire, it inevitably became morally compromised. While influence and compromise occurred, “inevitability” over-simplifies the range of Christian responses over time.

🧠 Summary

  • Historically inspired, but simplified and stylized for rhetorical impact.
  • The statement is best read as a prophetic or moral critique, not a scholarly argument.
  • Logical fallacies include: hasty generalization, false dichotomy, appeal to emotion, and potentially No True Scotsman.

Smart Car Buying: Why Timing Matters

If you have a television and watch commercials for car dealers, they tell you right now is the best time to buy with incredible savings. However, if you wait another month you will get the best savings of the year. Then the next month it will be the absolute best time for rock bottom prices that will never happen again in all of eternity. If you keep waiting for the best sale of the year it will never happen and you will keep driving your beater until it falls apart.

Get yourself a used police car with all the fixtures. This will allow you to drive faster than everyone and keep others going the speed limit. You can also pick up some extra cash by pulling people over and taking bribes.

The best time to buy a car is when you need one. If you are paying a monthly repair cost that equals a car payment and are inconvenienced by the constant time of your vehicle being in the shop or left stranded on the side of the road at 18-wheelers whiz by, then it’s time to start looking. There are plenty of websites that will help you negotiate the best deal possible.

Tip, just get yourself a bottle of this and close your eyes while driving so you feel like you have a new car.

The Ultimate Guide to Captivating Selfies: Focus on the Lens

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Please remember to look at the camera lens and not the image on your screen. It does make a difference. The selfies where your gaze is slightly askew are annoying. It’s even more irritating if you have a group shot and everyone is focused on themselves on the smartphone view screen. Think about it. You don’t go to Olan Mills and look off to the left or right (that’s for Glamour Shots only), you look at the lens!

Stop telling your kids they’re doing a good job

Good job?

Not sure why this phrase bothers me so much, but I hear it used all the time when parents praise their kids. “Good job, buddy! You did it all by yourself”. It also sounds condescending because of the tone of voice. Speak to an adult that way and it’s a totally different context. Typically, you get paid for a good job, but if you are not handing out paper with your praise, here are a few alternatives that I consciously express to my young ones.

  • Good work
  • Great effort
  • Fantastic accomplishment
  • Superb achievement
  • Impressive performance
  • Majestic results
  • Glorious showing

Just a few to get you started. Feel free to correct other parents.

There are no men’s restrooms anymore.

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Do you go #1 or #2 in this thing?

On our way back from a long trip, we stopped at a gas station to use the toilets. I noticed a line of ladies had formed outside the bathrooms. As I approached the men’s room, a woman walked out and another one entered without hesitation.

Me: “Are we having some gender confusion here, ladies?”

Random Lady: “Women have babies, so we get to use your bathrooms”

I didn’t understand her logic, so I fired back…

Men get kicked in the testicles, so we can use your bathrooms?

Another time I went to a store and had to use the toilet. Surprisingly, there was only a “Family” and a woman’s restroom. My family wasn’t with me, so I had to use the women’s restroom, no other choice.
It’s not the first time I’ve used a woman’s toilet. I was interviewing for a job and was exhausted from the long flight and the uncomfortable hotel bed. After my lunch with the recruiter, I met my sister at Sam’s club to buy some snacks. I stopped off at the bathroom first and wondered why there were no urinals. I picked a stall next to someone who was sitting. I stood up to pee as normal. As I walked out, I did a doubletake as I saw the “Men’s” sign as I exited the women’s restroom. My sister was doubled over in laughter, but I’m sure the lady who was still in the toilet was just as confused as I was.
Now that we are moving to Gender Neutral restrooms in public places, this gives a whole new meaning to the term, “Baby Changing Stations”. I hope people don’t do anything stupid.

Trash Talk: The Changing Face of Garbage Disposal Today

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It all goes to the same place

I’m not talking about landfills or the Pacific Ocean filling up with plastic bags. I’m referring to the decision-making process of how to throw out our rubbish. When did it become such a chore to throw something into the trash can? Back in the old days we just used to throw it on the ground or out the car window. That was until our Earth Day friends started showing commercials with Native Americans crying.

I try to do my duty when it comes to recycling, but even the local dump has implemented full garbage segregation. They have one bin for glass, one for plastic, and one for cardboard. I miss the days of throwing it all in one giant hole, covering it with gasoline, and setting it ablaze.

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Making the most of your Hotel’s Free Breakfast

Do you let your kids eat breakfast by themselves? I imagine the family allowing this behavior that follows, simply saying, “Your Father and I are going to sleep in, go down to the breakfast area and eat whatever you want.”

As I was cooking a waffle there was a young child spooning chocolate chips into a coffee cup. He keeps looking over at me after each scoop until it was empty of its contents. I guess he wanted someone to tell him to stop. Then his younger brother came over, opened up the chocolate chip container saw that it was empty, and walked away. Their sister did the same thing.

Each child had a to-go box filled with breakfast items. One was filled with bananas, another with oranges, and another one with hot chocolate packets. All claimed it was food for the road. No one said anything, and it was quite a bit of food. I wonder what the parents thought when the kids brought all this food back to the room.