Month: August 2025

How to Pass Time During a Traffic Jam

~ SA Otey
40-minute wait 30 miles out

On one of our family road trips, we were traveling back from a smaller road trip after visiting Mammoth Cave National Park. We were about 30 minutes away from our hotel in Nashville when we came to a complete stop. We could see there were only about 50 cars ahead of us and emergency workers scrambling to save someone. We waited about 40 minutes. So how do you redeem the time?

Pray for the people involved.
This is the easiest thing to do if you are not first on the scene and try to calm and help the people.

Get out and look
Get out of your car and see if you can see what happens. Cross your arms and pace, this should get things moving.

Bathroom break
Let your kids out to pee on the side of the road. You will never see these people again so it’s OK for a brief period of public urination. The cops are busy anyway.

Complain
Turn the event into a self-centered tirade about how much you are being inconvenienced. Say things like, “If they aren’t dead, then they should be in jail for causing such a horrible delay”. You know, terrible things like that.

Repent
For all those terrible thoughts you just had about the terrible wreck. But then rationalize that if it’s only a mere fender bender then they should at least perform community service.

Dishwasher Loading Tips for Efficient Cleaning

~ SA Otey

There are different ways to load and unload a dishwasher, depending on the model and the type of dishes you have. However, some general tips are:

Adrenaline Junkie’s Guide to Biking Risks

~ SA Otey


I don’t know who I’m more afraid for: The guy on the bike or the two men putting their faith in that tailgate.

It’s fine if you want to ride your bicycle, but c’mon, across the twists and turns of the Great Smoky Mountain Expressway? You put your faith in people who text and drive around kiss your a$$ turns? You are a true adrenaline junkie if the odds of getting smeared all over the side of a mountain are this high.

Trapper Keepers and Sneakers: School Year Essentials

~ SA Otey
pumas

There you are enjoying your summer of sunburns, splinters, spider bites and then the back to school circular shows up. The radio DJ won’t keep his trap shut about going back to school. Your parents were so happy to show it to you just to let you know the end of summer fun is nigh.

The best part of back to school was getting a brand new trapper keeper to put your doodles in because the teacher was uninteresting. The worst part was showing up with your new clothes and sneakers only to be mocked for having last year’s models of Swede Pumas. How did seventh graders know this? I was happy to have name brands!

Why BOGO Sales May Not Save You Money

~ SA Otey

Can you believe this used to be $3.00 for a sixer of 16.9oz of Pepsi Zero Original Recipe with all the caffeine and ginseng?

Do you think BOGOs are a good deal? How’s come when you see the same item at Walmart it’s the same price as one of the buy one get one? That’s because BOGO is a scam. Paying full retail price vs what the price should be. It’s not near as worse as by 3 get 2 free that Harris Teeter shills. If you divide it out it’s about the same price as a single item at Walmart or Aldi. Don’t fall for it!

What is Friendship Day?

~ SA Otey

Friendship Day is another greeting card invented event where you are supposed to enjoy your relationships with others. I say it’s a good time to clean house on your Facebook lists.

  1. Look at your friend’s list
  2. See who has the most friends
  3. Unfriend that “friend”
  4. See how long it takes for them to send you a friend request
  5. Repeat every week until you have no friends

Chances are if someone has 3000+ friends they won’t notice you’ve unfriended them until they see you pop up on the “Find New Friends” or “People you may know” feature. Hopefully, Facebook has it in their algorithms that you don’t surface again.

Have fun, enjoy, and tell a “friend”!

Get drunk at Magic Kingdom!

~ SA Otey

Disney’s newest pirate-themed lounge is ready to welcome EPCOT Drink Around the World guests starting August 29, 2025. The Beak and Barrel brings swashbuckling fun to Magic Kingdom with an immersive Pirates of the Caribbean experience featuring tropical drinks, tasty bites, and nautical entertainment.

What to Expect

This family-friendly pirate pub offers something for every buccaneer:

  • Themed beverages for all ages, including creative non-alcoholic options like the mysterious Treasure Trove and cookies-and-cream inspired Cursed Treasure
  • Adventurous food ranging from octopus tentacle salad (Kraken’s Catch) to cheesy corn griddle cakes
  • Specialty cocktails with Caribbean flair, featuring unique ingredients like ube, hibiscus, and mezcal
  • Exclusive draft beers and wines from around the world
  • Interactive entertainment including sing-alongs and storytelling

Don’t Miss These Highlights

  • Siren’s Whisper: A captivating blue cocktail inspired by the Fountain of Youth
  • Plunderer’s Punch: Comes in a limited souvenir pirate skull mug (one per guest)
  • Island Provisions: Shareable Caribbean-inspired appetizers perfect for crews

Plan Your Visit

Reservations open August 14, so mark your calendars! Whether you’re a seasoned swashbuckler or budding buccaneer, The Beak and Barrel promises an unforgettable adventure across the Seven Seas.

Arrr you ready to set sail?

Toilet seat up or down?

~ SA Otey
Smart Toilet Bidet Seat, Electric Bidet Seat with Oscillating Cleaning

Ever since the toilet was invented and the opposite sexes, genders, or humans with different or no body parts shared it, the argument of whether the seat should go up or down has raged.

The discourse is easily settled. Both the seat and lid should go down. That lid is there for a reason. The reason? A plume of human excrement mist erupts when you flush. You don’t want to breathe that in. If you do you might want to chase it with a few squirts of  Poo-Pourri.

Maximize Savings: Shopping on Tax-Free Weekend

~ SA Otey
photo of black flat screen monitor
Photo by Fancycrave.com on Pexels.com

How much do you love people? How much do you love people and massive amounts of them confined in one area? Do you like long lines at the dressing room and checkouts? Do you enjoy fighting over parking spaces and pedestrians who forget how to walk in parking lots?

If you said yes to any or all of these questions then you will love shopping on tax-free weekends in your state. It’s only rivaled by Black Friday sales. However, you can pay slightly a bit more and shop from your computer at home. You have to deal with the age-old question, “How much is my time worth?”.

Teaching your kids how to curse

~ SA Otey
paec

Now that Pixar movies, like “Incredibles 2” are employing curse words in their movie scripts, it’s time to get your kids up to speed. Let’s face it, your children are going to start using profanity one day. Why not teach them the right way. That is, acknowledge that these are real words and can be used in a sentence. Now, that you’ve deflated the value of curse words teach them to have a vast vocabulary of literary devices so they don’t have to resort to using language shortcuts.