Month: October 2025

Should you Celebrate Halloween?

~ SA Otey

I’m not talking from a religious but a practical perspective. Here are a few reasons to skip it.

Buying a costume

Kids get clothes for their birthdays and Christmas. Why buy them an outfit for a single day that will rip within a week after? If you must have a costume, make one out of clothes you don’t like and can go as an “ungrateful person who has too many clothes”

Buying candy

Candy is overpriced from September 1st to October 31st. However, if you want a good deal on candy, wait until November 1st and stock up. Who cares if there are pumpkin-shaped Reeses’ in your Christmas candy dish.

Having too much candy

There is too much candy in the house and it’s everywhere. It ruins your ketosis and sometimes your relationships if strategically shared.

Neighborhood gorefest

People living near you will display haunting displays of violence and paganism. You have to drive past it every time you leave to volunteer at the senior community.

If Martin Luther were still alive

~ SA Otey
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Everyone complains that Christmas was stolen from the pagan religions, but in this case, it’s Pagans who took over this holiday. He wouldn’t go door to door asking for candy. He would go to every door in the neighborhood and tack 95 theses to the door explaining how everyone is ruining “All Hallows Eve”.  It’s better than the bag of 95 feces on my doorstep.

How to yard sale

~ SA Otey
field grass green ground
Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com
  • Bring large bills and pay for .50 cent items. Get a possible freebie because no one can make change fo a $100
  • Ask for small bills as change to wipe out their supply for other shoppers
  • Automatically cut 50 to 75% off their asking price
  • Look into the garage and ask about pricing for things that are not labeled or obviously for sale. Bikes, pets, water heaters, etc
  • Gain access to the house, come out one of the doors asking how much for the tub
  • Try to purchase one of their vehicles.
  • Request items like “needle nose pliers”, if they don’t have any for sale ask. “Well, why not?”
  • Bring a few shovels and start uprooting their sod. After all, it is a “yard sale”

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Most Offensive Halloween Costumes

~ SA Otey
IrishMan

How about a drunk Irish guy with Leprechaun? Irish are pretty safe to make fun of, or they really don’t seem to care if you do, they will probably just beat the crap out of you if they get offended, which is rare.

Tub of Guts suit. What’s funnier than a fat person, right? I guess corpulence should be fine if you can dress as a skeleton.

JesusMan

Jesus is about the only religious figure left who’s safe to ridicule (but not for all eternity). He’s the most tolerant of all the deities, and he died for your sins, so why not tempt fate and your eternal soul with a little blasphemous masquerading. Plus, it might be helpful to keep those demons bound while you trick or treat.

In light of what’s appropriate or not for Halloween, we try to dress ourselves and our children in costumes that won’t offend. Well, at least most of the population that don’t get offended. You know, like Fat Irish Christians.

Top ten travel ball clichés

~ SA Otey
  1. Every single dugout cheer ever, all teams do the same ones, not every team is “unstoppable”
  2. The parent who is cursing at the coach for their kids’ playing time
  3. The stat keeper who is advising the coach on what player should be in the lineup
  4. The bleacher coach is overriding the coach’s play.
  5. The grandparents are cheering for their player for sitting on the bench the whole game.
  6. The e-cigarette guy who is blowing vapors in the stands, because he says it’s not a real cigarette.
  7. The concession stand junkie who is constantly chowing down on greasy treats
  8. The Travel Ball Pro has tents, yeti coolers, and fans powered by generators.
  9. The kid who is an emotional wreck after every minor error or who cries after they go deep and they catch the fly ball.
  10. The football fan is watching the game rather than his child.

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Homeschooling Q&A FAQs

~ SA Otey

#1. Do you test your homeschooled kids?

The question will inevitably arise when someone discovers you homeschool. “What about testing?“

What about it? Why test? Who are we comparing to? What standard of measure do you use? Do you want me to test my children to see how they compare to public school kids? If that’s the case, I would send them to public school. The simple answer is, “We teach through mastery.” We don’t teach to take a test.

#2. What about socialization?

You mean being able to talk to other people whenever you want instead of:

  • Standing/Walking in single file down hallways
  • Sitting at a desk for 6 hours and not being able to:
    • Pass Notes
    • Talk without raising your hand
    • Go to the toilet when you want
  • Perhaps if they are good and don’t misbehave, they will receive a 15-30 minute break to socialize outside under strict supervision.

Homeschool kids get plenty of socialization, such as Little League, co-ops, and nature

#3. How do you have the patience to homeschool your kids?

When people ask or say, “I just don’t have the patience to homeschool my kids”. Let me tell you a little secret, we don’t either. But life’s all about overcoming our deficiencies right?  Now think about how much patience it takes for one teacher with a classroom of forty kids just like yours.

4#. When is your last day of school?

The short answer is when they leave for college. Schooling all year round is important for the whole mastery thing. Giving breaks is important too, like going to Theme Parks when everyone else is in school and we have the run of the place.

Top 5 Driving Distractions

~ SA Otey

Texting

I’m sure in the “good ole days” people use to read the newspaper during their daily commute. Before the cell phone in the 80s, people had to string two dixie cups between their automobiles to better communicate with their fellow man. Texting has made everyone look like a drunk driver swerving all over the road. I can’t wait until VR devices are augmenting reality while driving.

Eating

What’s better than waking up on time and sitting down to breakfast with your family? Well, the answer is balancing a bowl of cereal in your lap while trying to navigate 3 lanes of traffic because you missed your exit that you take every day.

Beating your children

If you don’t have one of those fancy DVD players integrated into your vehicle, then your kids are going to be wild. Make sure you have something that will reach, you gotta keep at least one hand on the wheel

Vanity

You can’t check your mirrors enough! Point it towards you so you can’t see the 18 wheeler bearing down on you because you want to make sure your eyebrows are even. Impossible.

Advertising / Traffic Messages

Remember texting and driving? Well, billboards that flash, blink, and require reading are just a bad. How is this any different? They will gladly tell you how people have died while texting and driving as you read the stats and tumble end over end into a ditch.

The Irritating Guide to Chewing Gum

~ SA Otey ~ 1 Comment

Chewing gum is on my shortlist as one of the worst things ever invented. Here is a short guide to maximizing everyone’s enjoyment of your gum chewing

  • Chew with your mouth open like a cat eating peanut butter
  • Pop it against the roof of your mouth
  • Blow bubbles then suck them in to make a sound like a vacuum cleaner picking up a plastic shopping bag.
  • Place enough gum in your mouth as to hinder speech
  • When you get back in your car, roll down the window and toss out your gum so it gets nice and hot and someone will step in it as soon as they park and get out.
  • If someone asks for a piece of gum, always say you’re chewing your last piece, and refer to the first item on the list to show them how it’s done

Hope this helps

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How do you know the traffic light is about to change?

~ SA Otey

It could be illegal in your state but that’s beside the point, it’s just plain selfish and stupid. Those white lines at the light are there for your safety and almost everyone ignores them. I know everyone is in a hurry, but sticking your vehicle out in the middle of the road just to gain an extra few seconds isn’t worth destroying your automobile or life. Drivers are notorious for inserting themselves into the intersection on a yellow light so they clear the intersection on a technicality. How do you know the light is about to change? Watch the intersection get flooded with cars.

Fall Chili Recipe to Warm Your Bones

~ SA Otey

Now that we are well into autumn and the footballs are being passed around, it’s time to warm up your bones with a super bowl of chili. Well, if you make this recipe, it will warm the marrow of your bones.

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs Ground Sirloin
  • 1.5 Cups Frozen Red/Green Peppers and Onion Mix
  • 1 can of Rotel with lime and cilantro
  • 2 cans of Fire Roasted Tomatoes
  • 1 large can of Tomato Paste
  • 2 Cans Dark Red Kidney Beanss
  • 1 Head Garlic
  • 2 Cups Cilantro
  • 1 Cup BBQ Sauce (I like Kraft Kansas City)
  • 16oz Beer (I use Guinness Draught)
  • 1 Cup Taco Seasoning (I use McCormick)
  • 3 tbsp of Cumin
  • 2 tbsp Chili Powder
  • 1 Large Jalapeño
  • 3 Red Habaneros (optional)
  • 1/4 tsp of Dry Carolina Reaper Dust (optional for pain)
Setup
  • Wrap the garlic in aluminum foil and put in a preheated 400 deg oven for 30 minutes
  • Fire up the grill and make two large patties out of the ground sirloin sear on both sides
  • Spray the Jalapeño and Habaneros with Extra Virgin Olive Oil and roast on the grill until soft.
  • In a large pot, use bacon fat to cook pepper/onion mix until onions are translucent
  • Add Sirloin
  • Add Beer
  • Add Rotel, Paste, Seasonings, BBQ Sauce, Beans
  • Take Roasted Jalapeños, Habaneros, Garlic, Cilantro and chop with a food processor, then add to the pot
  • Add the Reaper (Optional for extra heat)
  • Simmer for 1 hour.
  • Let cool to room temperature transfer to a bowl
  • Store in fridge overnight to let all flavors get to know each other
  • Reheat in crockpot
  • Enjoy
Next Day
  • Preparation H Cooling Gel
  • Tucks Medicated Pads