Top Hotels don’t want you to know these details

If we are being a bit more honest you would write what you really feel about hotels.

Arrive

As you enter the parking lot you will be greeted by a kids football game. Kids popping into existence chasing a bouncing football in random directions. People will park their luggage carts in the driving path under the check-in canopy, creating their own personal unloading or loading zone.

Entry

Can’t find a luggage cart because they are all left on random floors near the elevator and not returned to the lobby.

Room

The Digital Key doesn’t work, and the physical key doesn’t work. There are no real keys anymore, so you must pace back and forth to the front desk trying out different keys. The digital key starts working once you get back to your room.

Breakfast

There are a few people that will dominate the breakfast bar. They lay out several plates, using both waffle makers, and preparing a meal for their kids who are engrossed in their tablets with the giant rubber case. A person is creating a masterpiece concoction at the coffee bar mixing their drink while others are waiting to grab some hot water for their instant grits.

Bed

If you know what short sheeting is then just about every hotel does this. You have to almost drive a wedge under the bottom sheet to get your feet in there. If you don’t ask you will get two pillows per bed.

Shower

If it’s a curtain then it will find a way to stick to your body. If it’s a glass door it will not be sealed so the water goes all over the floor.

Microwave

It’s a gamble if it works or not. The rotation ring will be missing so the glass plate will bang around in there jostling your Orville Redenbacher Movie Theater popcorn

Alarm clock

There is usually an alarm clock in the room that doesn’t have a dimmer and will illuminate the room once you try to fall asleep. A previous tenant probably set the alarm for a 3am wake-up to get to the airport.

Nonadjustable air conditioner

The A/C unit will have all the buttons disabled so you have to control it from the wall. The constant fan is usually the first feature that doesn’t work. No white noise for you.

Checkout

Don’t bother hanging the do not disturb on the doorknob and try to sleep in. Because housekeeping is ready to clean up your filth with a wrap on the door at 8am.