Author: SA Otey

Software Engineer

Your Calvinism is Showing

~ SA Otey

I’ve attended many Bible Study Groups over the years, and one thing is for certain, there will be a point during one of the discussions where I’ll be labeled as a Calvinist. Early on,. I had no idea what that meant, I thought I was just reading the Bible and understanding it as it was plain and simple. Turns out there was a man named John Calvin who came up an acrostic called TULIP which after reading it made me super concerned that people would label me as such.

Fast forward, now I really don’t mind if people label me as such. It just show that people just don’t understand things. Do some research and understand for yourself. I guess the more concerning thing is that Xians throw out labels as pejoratives.

Big picture: Calvinism emphasizes that salvation is 100% God’s work from start to finish—humans don’t initiate it, earn it, or keep it going. It’s all about God’s grace and sovereignty.

🌱 T – Total Depravity → “Dead Battery”

🔋 Imagine a phone with a completely dead battery—it can’t turn itself back on.

  • We’re spiritually dead, not just weak. Only God jump-starts the heart.

🌤 U – Unconditional Election → “Adoption Papers”

📜 Parents don’t adopt based on a child’s achievements. They choose out of love.

  • God’s choice isn’t based on our goodness, but His mercy.

🎯 L – Limited/Definite Atonement → “Targeted Rescue”

🚁 A rescue helicopter doesn’t just circle overhead—it lowers the rope for specific people.

  • Jesus’ death doesn’t just make salvation possible—it guarantees it for His people.

🧲 I – Irresistible Grace → “Magnet Pull”

🪙 A strong magnet doesn’t force metal—it naturally draws it in.

  • God changes our hearts so that we freely want Him.

🛡 P – Perseverance/Preservation → “Tight Grip”

🤝 If it depended on us holding God’s hand, we’d let go. But He’s holding us—and He never drops His children.

Best flavors of Ice Cream…

~ SA Otey
IMG_4248
Gas prices in 2017!

I’m guessing it’s dipped out with a scoop and not “dip” flavored. Wintergreen would be OK as long as it’s laced with Nicotine. Mouth tobacco is something I’ve never understood or cared for. I did try it once when my Dad brought home a case of it that was damaged in shipment. I’ll set the scene for you.

That night, my mother prepared Tuna Helper for dinner, and I had two hot, heaping helpings. I grabbed a hockey puck-sized can of whatever brand of black tar it was and stepped outside to enjoy a pinch. Well, I wish I knew a pinch was all you needed. I proceeded to load up both cheeks full of tobacco mouth mulch. It wasn’t long before I started to feel cold and tingly, and the trees around me started to spin and bend in half before my eyes. My parents thought they saw a ghost as a bright white streak ran past them and into the family toilet room. I unloaded the majority of the aforementioned tuna helper directly into the bowl with a single motion. Once I got a whiff of half-digested tuna and noodles coated in black soot, the remaining chicken of the sea found its way into the sewer entrance to swim its way back home.

To this day, the smell of “dip” reminds me of that night.  However, I really liked Tuna Helper, but I can’t even look at the box now.

Great taste both ways!

Pumpkin Spice Sneak Attack

~ SA Otey

When did pumpkin spice get all over and inside of everything? I don’t remember it being associated with Fall as much as it is now. The Pumpkin Spice things have started rolling out in August there at least needs to be a moratorium until the first day of fall. You have to admit it’s gotten out of control.

By the way, pumpkin spice is CINNAMON, GINGER, NUTMEG, ALLSPICE, AND SULFITING AGENTS. There is no pumpkin in there at all.

Are you Old School or New School?

~ SA Otey

What does “Old School” even mean? I guess it’s the same as “Classic” or old for that matter. It conjures up images of senior citizens eating corn on the cob with their dentures. Apparently, corn on the cob and apples are the standard for all elderly dental work adhesives. Old school also renders mental images of break-dancers with bandanas and fat shoelaces booming their boxes with fun party hip-hop music before the curse word-laden rhymes took the spotlight.

When does it become “Old School”? Just because a restaurant comes up with a new recipe for a cheeseburger doesn’t automatically render all other cheeseburgers as “Old School”. The same goes for hot dogs and pizza. You’ve only come up with a new recipe, you didn’t change the paradigm for the food industry going forward. Wow yeah, you put a fried egg on all foods and now it’s new school?

“New school” is supposed to be cutting edge and fresh, something never done before. Everything has been done before, people just forget and steal other ideas and make it their own.

Best and Worst Times to Visit Disney World

~ SA Otey
IMG_7200
Walt Disney telling you to leave!

When a hurricane is there

The park will be closed and you won’t be able to get through the gates, Well you probably could, but you would go to jail. Not Disney jail, but a real jail, where the mice bite. However, if you are on the property then you are safe. Disney Resorts are made to withstand a Category 5 hurricane. They will treat you like royalty and since they are their own municipality, you will have power sooner. However, if they stay open during a hurricane you will have little wait times because people will cancel their vacations.

When it’s hot

You will sweat profusely and you will get dehydrated if you don’t buy the $4 bottles of water. Don’t drink the soda and beer or you will dehydrate faster. And be broker faster

When there are numerous amount of people there

Holidays and weekends are the worst, and holiday weekends are a no-brainer to stay away.

When you just bought new shoes

That is unless you like blisters on your feet. Never take a brand new pair of shoes into the park. Don’t buy a brand new pair of waterproof timberland boots for your July trip. Your boots will be filled with pain and suffering.

When a new ride is open

Well, it might be a good time to visit other areas of the parks except for Guardians of the Galaxy Cosmic Rewind, Tron Lightcycle Run, or Peter Pan’s Flight. Make sure to get a virtual queue

No one really knows the best time to visit

There is no slow season no matter what anyone tells you. If you are going to go, just do it and enjoy your time. Be patient with people because 95% of people are not self aware and will bump into you. If someone says they got on all the rides with no waiting they are lying, and you shouldn’t be friends with liars.

Old Movies in Theaters: Are They Worth It?

~ SA Otey

I’ve noticed an uptick in the trend to bring back older movies from the 70s, 80s, and 90s to local theaters. I think it’s a great idea, but unnecessary in our day and age.

I can see the appeal. You can watch an old movie on a large screen with high-quality audio. It’s easy to do now because there are no unwieldy film reels to deal with. All the movies are delivered over the internet or on hard disk drives that basically load into a fancy digital projector. Kinda irks me when they splash the Sony 4K logo before a movie. Really? You are proud that your resolution is lower than celluloid?

The real reason movies are coming back out is because Hollywood is out of ideas. They’ve rebooted every movie franchise they can think of. They’ve created movies based on video and board games. The only untapped market is the cereal industry. I’d pay to see a movie where Captain Crunch fights Count Chocula, Franken, and Boo Berry like Van Helsing.

IMG_0131
Windows XP on the Big Screen!

Does Climate Change Make Hurricanes Stronger?

~ SA Otey
hurricanes

Asking for a friend…

We’ve known about climate change, (formally known as Global Warming, formally known as Next Ice Age) for decades. For as long as I can remember I haven’t purposely burnt large piles of Styrofoam containers in my yard to do my part in combating climate change. So with all the forced regulations in car companies making our cars lighter and more fuel efficient (and less safe), why are we still having a climate change problem? We’ve thrown tons of money at the problem and created huge solar farms covering up plenty of oxygen-producing grass. We’ve built huge eyesore wind farms and killed tons of birds. We’ve cut back on fossil fuels. Shouldn’t it be getting better and not worse? What are we supposed to do?

Trusting your personal info to strangers

~ SA Otey

Since Equifax has all of your data and they seem to consistently let it fall into the wrong hands, it’s the same as giving your personal information to complete strangers. How did we ever do business before? You had to dress up in your Sunday best and go in front of the lender and they had to interview you. You had to prove you had a job and show that you could pay the money back. You probably could fool them and never pay it back and they would kick you out of your house or horse-drawn carriage because you are a deadbeat.

Buy-2

I don’t know if any of that is true but it sounds like that’s the way it should be.

How to prepare for a Hurricane

~ SA Otey

Panic – Start freaking out right away because it always helps.

Hoard – Buy up all the milk, bread, eggs, and water. Buy as much as you can. It will rot in your fridge after you lose power.

Ignore traffic laws – Run red lights, try to ram the cars pulling out in front of you. Walk across busy streets in dark clothing.

Fight – If you feel like someone is stopping you from hoarding, or you want to prevent someone from hoarding, then fight them.

Don’t do any of this. Just remain calm and pay attention to your local officials. They have your best interests in mind. You will be in lots of traffic coming and going, so be patient. If someone is being an idiot, just let them. If you have to scramble at the last minute for water, non-perishables, ice, or generators, then it’s already too late. Wear a mask

If this is closed then you are in trouble

🌪️ Hurricane Preparedness Checklist

✅ Water & Food

  • Bottled water (1 gallon per person per day, at least 3 days)
  • Non-perishable canned goods (soups, vegetables, beans, tuna, etc.)
  • Ready-to-eat foods (peanut butter, protein bars, crackers, trail mix)
  • Baby formula and baby food (if needed)
  • Manual can opener
  • Pet food & treats

✅ Power & Lighting

  • Flashlights
  • Battery-powered lanterns
  • Extra batteries (AA, AAA, D, 9V)
  • Portable chargers / power banks
  • Generator + fuel (if available)
  • Candles & matches/lighters (use with caution)

✅ Fuel & Cooking

  • Gasoline (for car and/or generator)
  • Propane tanks (for grill or camp stove)
  • Charcoal, lighter fluid (if using a charcoal grill)
  • Cooler & ice (for food/medicine storage)

✅ Household & Medical Supplies

  • First aid kit
  • Prescription medications (at least 7-day supply)
  • Over-the-counter medicines (pain relievers, cold meds, antacids)
  • Toiletries (toilet paper, soap, wipes, feminine hygiene products)
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Trash bags
  • Paper towels, paper plates, disposable utensils
  • Cleaning supplies (bleach, disinfectant, gloves)

✅ Safety & Storm Protection

  • Plastic tarps
  • Duct tape
  • Sandbags (if in flood-prone area)
  • Weather radio (battery-powered or hand-crank)
  • Whistle
  • Multi-tool or pocket knife
  • Fire extinguisher

✅ Important Documents & Money

  • Cash (small bills, ATMs may be down)
  • IDs, insurance papers, medical records, bank info (in waterproof bag/container)

✅ Comfort & Extras

  • Books, games, puzzles (for kids/adults)
  • Blankets & pillows
  • Extra clothing & rain gear
  • Sturdy shoes
  • Earplugs (for noisy shelters)

Fox Weather vs The Weather Channel

~ SA Otey

As I get older, it’s nice to have some information about the weather everyday. Not because I’m doing anything important, I just want to complain about one more thing. If you’d like to know the difference between Fox Weather and The Weather Channel, here’s what I’ve surmised.

Fox Weather – Today will be sunny with a high of 72 degrees with light rain in the forecast, maybe a slight breeze from the southeast.

The Weather Channel – The sun will be unbearably hot as the UV radiation will scorch your skin because sun block will poison your immune system as torrential rain will flood your neighborhood before the devastating winds will rip the roof from your home. Remember, this is all your fault because you are causing climate change because you run your air conditioner too often and your plastic straws are killing all marine life.