Author: SA Otey

Software Engineer

Treating your kids like pets.

~ SA Otey

IMG_3450
As a follow-up to a previous post, there is another phenomenon going on in our society where kids are treated like animals. It hasn’t reached its apex quite yet. This says way more about the parents than it does the kids. These parents do not know how to handle their children and can’t set boundaries, so they create artificial ones.

You can make it look like a monkey on their back, but nothing is more demeaning than putting a child on a leash. What’s next, feeding your child from a bowl on the floor? Maybe take their diaper off and let them crap in the yard? Why not a shock collar and invisible fence so they don’t leave the yard?

How about putting them in a dog crate so they won’t destroy your house while you’re gone. Wow, I guess I forgot what I was talking about. Maybe take off the leash and let your kid make some mistakes. That’s how they learn.

What are pet parents?

~ SA Otey

petParents
First of all, pets are not children, they are animals. Yes, children are technically animals but they are a higher class and they eventually can clean up their own feces. Dogs can not pick up their own poop unless you consider eating feces cleaning up. Thankfully, my children have never eaten their own excrement, that I know of.

More and more I’m seeing dogs in strollers and in baby carriers at airports. People are using “service dogs” for all sorts of reasons. There are people who actually need service dogs and I understand that. But some people are severely allergic to dogs. If you are sitting near a dog, you are going to have a bad flight, especially if the dog takes a dump in the seat.

IMG_2637

Bumper stickers are taking shots at parents by saying that their dog is smarter than their honor student. Nonsense, let’s see your dog use a pencil and write their name or enter a spelling bee. Women proudly display “Dog Mom” on their cars, but we already have another name for that and it probably fits the bill.

Honestly, I wish raising kids was as easy as having a pet, but it’s not nearly as rewarding. Kids are awesome and not just because they don’t eat their own feces.

The Challenge of Saying No in Generation X

~ SA Otey
Photograph_of_Mrs._Reagan_speaking_at_a_'Just_Say_No'_Rally_in_Los_Angeles_-_NARA_-_198584

There is something wrong with “my” Generation X. They don’t know how to say no. They really don’t know how to say yes either. Not sure what happened, but there is this overwhelming sense of not disappointing someone. I have no trouble saying no, in fact, it’s an automatic response for me. Mostly because I don’t want to do anything for anyone

Non-reply is the new NO. If you send a message to someone who always checks their messages and you don’t get a reply even though it shows they read the message then you can treat that as a NO.

However, I’d rather someone just tell me no rather than say: “Let me get back to you”, or “Let me think about it.” I tend to treat that as a no and do not ask again. Whatever it is. My generation also suffers from “Let me see if something better comes along before I commit to anything.” It probably comes from the whole “Just Say No” campaign back in the 1980s because that didn’t work either.

Should you go to high school reunions?

~ SA Otey

If you have social media then you can get a preview of your high school reunion by scrolling through your feed. Bragging, boasting, deception, and lies. Someone will want to hook you into a multi-level marketing program or sell you some life insurance. You can see how fat/thin or old/young someone looks via the instagrams and facebooks.

If you have a friend you still talk to from your high school, be thankful. That’s all you need. You don’t need to go digging up the memories and run into someone who wanted to fight you 30 years ago. If you are part of the Hillbilly Ethnicity you know this to be true. If you must go, then wait until year 40 or 50 and let the crowd thin a little.

Man shaming in commercials

~ SA Otey

Why are so many companies choosing to throw men under the bus in television commercials? Not sure what the motivation is to make men seem like the lowest levels of animals and that they are worthless. There is probably more examples and more that needs to be said but here are just a few.

Panera Bread


Two males eating delivered sandwiches because they can’t even do that simple task? Or maybe it’s a passive-aggressive shot at women because they are not there to make them sandwiches?

Nationwide

A man can’t eat in his new kitchen? The women are cleaning up after him before he even gets a chance too. Some men like to clean, stop stereotyping, Nationwide.

Allstate


A man wants to do a home improvement project but the wife laughs at him is the most condescending way? Getting a bonus check for not using your insurance turns into a fat-shaming incident because she wanted a refund for his gym membership? Wow.

Nutrisystem
I’ve written about this before, but calling men fat pieces of garbage on the couch “so to speak” and stop shoving our holes full of pie might motivate some dieters, but abuse is no way to sell your product. Yes, I’ve tried Nutrisystem and you can do just as well by eating the cardboard it came in.

There are numerous other commercials for home improvement projects where the woman is humiliating the man in front of other people.

Summer activities for kids

~ SA Otey

Now that summer is in full swing, your kids will need something to do so they don’t get bored.  There are plenty of fun activities you can plan, but the most important thing is to teach them the value of hard work. Here are just a few simple ideas.

Lawnmower pushing

If your child can ride a go-kart by themselves and their shoulders are even with the lawnmower handle then they can cut the grass. Be sure to disable the self-propelled mechanism on your mower so they don’t ride it like a go-kart.

Weed pulling

Make it a game. Find all the weeds and put them in a big pile and run them over with the mower. It’s a win-win.

Vegetation watering

After all the weeds have been pulled, it’s time to water the plants. If you have a garden you can add harvesting ripe produce to the list of activities.

Car washing

Kids like to play in the water, so why not add a bucket of soap and a tire brush? They can have fun and you get a clean automobile.

Are you afraid of the dentist?

~ SA Otey
industry metal technology manufacturing
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’ll admit, I’m absolutely terrified of the dentist. When I was four years old I had many teeth pulled without being properly numbed. I was a sickly child so all the medicine I consumed rotted my baby teeth so they had to come out. I don’t remember much, but it was dark and there were pink and blue lights everywhere. Maybe that’s what trauma looks like to a 4-year-old. I remember every subsequent dental visit my mother bought me a toy afterward.

My moms took me for one last cleaning in 1991 (never got that toy) and I didn’t go again until 2008. Yes, 17 years! It wasn’t a good experience when I went back. Not that my teeth were in bad shape, but the dentist I went to was an old man who was a dentist in the Army. It felt like he took out each individual tooth, cleaned it, and put it back into the socket. The last time I went was in 2011, I had two cleanings, the first time I had no cavity creeps. On the second visit 6 months later they said I had 7 cavities. So I’m guessing they rubbed something on my teeth to make them rot. I haven’t been back and my teeth are still fine.

I take my kids to the dentist every 6 months for a cleaning, but these kids have it easy. Their dentist has video games in the waiting area, a super cool themed office, and TV screens in the ceiling so they can watch DVDs while they get dental work done. When I was a kid, we just sat in a white room in a metal chair while some old man with super minty breath yanked on our teeth for 30 minutes. As a bonus, we had to sit still with a mouthguard full of goop that tasted like sauerkraut water.

Time to pull out those teef

When should you use high beam headlights?

~ SA Otey

Are you the type of person who drives with your high beams on all the time? I mean, even during the daytime, because you don’t know how to disengage them?

I have a car with LED headlights. So when an oncoming vehicle flashes my highs, I then burn their retinas with the next level brightness. These special LEDs also allow you to see inside your neighbor’s soul if they own a home at a 3-way intersection.

Some cars now have light-sensitive high beams. They will lower if there is oncoming traffic. That, of course, is optional. In my opinion, there should only be high beams. Humans will adapt; we always do.

Locking the car windows before your fart

~ SA Otey

Probably one of the worst things you can do to your family is lock the car windows and then unleash a seat warmer. When someone shouts “Roll down the windows,” say you don’t know what they mean because there are no rollers in the car.

But seriously, do you still say roll down the windows? It’s like saying rewind a YouTube video.

A family is not required

~ SA Otey
Swig and Swine Family tray of meat

If you have the option to order a family platter of anything, you should. If the family is a qualifier then tell them you have a family, but they are not with you. When you order a family platter ask if it’s a family of pigs you are eating or if the quantity is meant to be consumed by a family. That’s an important piece of information, otherwise, you may eat too much.

Also, everyone needs a family. That title was misleading.