Why Star Wars’ May 4th Joke Has Lost Its Charm

Vader is annoyed

May ordinal number 4 be with you? Well, that doesn’t make sense. That’s because we live in a society where grammar no longer makes sense. I know it’s supposed to be a play on “May the force be with you” and it was cute when it first started. However, now that you see it posted for every Facebook friend you have, the luster is lost. I mean I guess if everything else can have a day, why not Star Wars? Why not release a Star Wars movie every year on May the 4th?

The Etiquette of Airport Moving Walkways


When you’re at an airport and you see one of those moving walkways do you stand to right or walk to the left? Maybe you stand to the left or and put your bags to the right? If it doesn’t surprise you, I’m a walker. Not in the zombie sense, but as someone who likes to use technology as it’s intended. The best part is it makes you feel like Captain America charging into battle against a group of Outriders, uh, other travelers. However, I do occasionally notice a person who actually walks faster than me as I’m walking on the human conveyor belt.

Of course, there are those people who can’t seem to read these floor markings. They treat it like an amusement ride or as a chance to get a break from traveling faster than an Hoveround. I love the awkward step when you leave the treadmill. The robot voice will even warn you that the floor will stop moving. Sometimes I like to stand there at the end just to see if people will walk around me or pile up like lemmings.

Practical Tips to Prevent Kidney Stones

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Guinness to help lube the tubes

I used to get kidney stones about once a year, here are some practical tips I’ve learned over the years.

First, it’s better to not get a kidney stone. I’ve learned that I need to drink plenty of water before I spend the next two days outside in the heat and humidity. This was the case for my latest bout with a ureter rock. I also stay away from black tea. While I love a good glass of tea, I’d rather not try to pee a pebble into a strainer for some doctor to analyze.

So, how to deal with the pain? The first thing I do is start chugging water by the liter. This will start to hydrate the kidneys and get them working to flush out the gravel from your pee pipes.  Kidney stone pain is one of the worst pains I’ve ever felt so you can try to throw a painkiller at it, but it will be shot blocked like Manute Bol over Muggsy Bogues.  (Sadly, Bol died of Kidney failure)

This is not a fun ride down the slip-and-slide to your bladder. The best advice is to mix up equal parts lemon juice and olive oil and drink a shot glass full. Don’t vomit it, otherwise, it won’t work. So try small sips over about 15 minutes or so. It will grease the chute and start breaking down the boulder.  Grab a six-pack of Guinness Extra Stout, this has worked wonders for me. The beer will help break down the stone and ease the passing, plus the alcohol will help ease some of the pain. Once the Plinko chip scrapes and rattles its way to your bladder the pain will subside, but if you are a male, then the fun isn’t quite over yet. Get more Guinness!

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Had to get morphine for red pee pee

However, if the pain makes you want to pass out, throw up, and/or urinate blood, then get to the emergency room. You might be dealing with a stone that even an angel can’t roll away. BTW, this too shall pass is not in the bible. Good luck!

Effective Sideline Coaching for Youth Sports

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It’s tempting to coach from the sidelines, but if you must, remember these helpful tips.

  • Tell your kid to hit the ball when they are up to bat
    • Also to swing at strikes
    • And don’t swing at balls
  • When they hit, tell them to run, ruN, rUN, RUN!
    • Tell them to run hard!
  • Tell your kid to throw the ball when they catch it.
  • If they are a pitcher, tell them to throw strikes.

Stand as close to your kid as the fences allow. You can also put your mouth between the steel cage diamonds and shout unimpeded.  Have some prearranged after-the-game system of punishment if they didn’t measure up to your expectations. During the game, tell them you are keeping track of all their mistakes.

Also, don’t do any of these things. Let the coach’s coach and you keep your mouth shut unless you are simply cheering your kid on.

Navigating Bathroom Breaks During Long Drives

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It never fails, you’ve been on the road for hours upon hours. You’ve tried to hold your urine as long as possible because you want to make it home without using another filthy gas station toilet. Last twenty minutes or so before you reach your destination, a car darts out in front of you. There was clearly no one behind them for 30 miles, but they felt this was the best chance they had to enter the roadway. This causes your brake pads to become one with the rotors as it sends your leftover Popeye’s chicken crumbs flying on the dashboard.

They are in no hurry either! They cautiously slow down at every side street just in case there is someone dumb enough to pull out in front of them. By now you can feel the bladder distension and infection forming from all the Pilot Coffee that’s been brewing in there all day. You then realize this person in front of you lives just down the street and you’ll be following them all the way to your house. Don’t hold it too long or you may get a kidney stone. Time to look for one of those empty coffee cups.

Is Chick-Fil-A Worth the Hype?

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I know they are required to say “It’s my pleasure”, but it sounds so disingenuous and rehearsed. I wonder if they have a code word similar to people at Disney World when they say “Have a magical day”. Maybe “My Pleasure” is the code word and they hate all their customers. Perhaps I’ll just stop saying thank you and save them the trouble.

I used to avoid Chick-fil-A. I realize now that was a mistake, but let me lay the groundwork for my insanity. Growing up, there was only one Chick-fil-A in West Virginia that I knew about. It was in the Huntington Mall, and they handed out free samples near one of the entrances. In principle, I don’t trust restaurants that hand out free samples. Probably because they’re leftovers or food that fell on the floor. Also, I don’t trust stores that don’t have a brick-and-mortar establishment. Like those mall kiosks in the middle of the aisle when they jump in your path and try to rub lotion on you.

Back in 2008, I had my first exposure to Chick-fil-A. My only concern is that I didn’t expose myself sooner because, for a while, I couldn’t stop myself from having Chick-fil-A regularly. It was a cheat day staple. However, in the past year or two, I’ve had quite enough of their antics. Long drive-thru line, stale fries, sandwiches that were in the bag too long. My last visit was a simple number one combo that I had to wait 20 minutes for after I had to pull forward and wait in a designated area while 20 other cars behind me got their food and went on their merry way.

I’m still waiting on them to branch out and open other restaurants. I’m sure I could get used to “Cow-Fil-A” or “Pig-Fil-A”, or maybe even “Trout-Fil-A”. Chick-fil-A is played out.

The Truth Behind ‘Growing Up Too Fast’

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“They grew up too fast!”

People are always saying this about their children. However, it’s very sad for me. Usually, people say this when they haven’t seen their kids in a while because the lapse in time periods makes it seem as if the child is growing at an alarming rate. It’s even worse if a parent says this about their own kids. It makes me think that you are not paying attention to your kid. Unless you are injecting your kids with HGH or they have a pituitary gland disorder then your kids are probably growing at a normal pace for a human. Or maybe it’s just a figure of speech, who knows!

THE IMPORTANCE OF STANDING UP AGAINST IMPERIAL CHRISTIANITY

Here’s a quote

When Christianity spread into the Roman Empire it got absorbed into the culture of patriarchy, nationalism and, eventually, capitalism. The faith was morphed from a message of liberation for all the wretched of the earth into a self-righteous cudgel for the rich and powerful.
As you may know by now, the Roman emperor Constantine forced Christian bishops to come up with creedal statements that had little or nothing to do with the original teachings of Jesus. For many, the Christian religion was reduced to supernatural claims, cultic moralism and shameless toadying to the hierarchy of the day. For many, Christianity was reframed from a religion of empathic servanthood to one of judgmental sectarian control.
The new imperial Christians were superstitious and ignorant about this world, but felt they were experts on the world to come. The new imperial Christians weren’t so good at loving their non-Christian neighbors, but felt they were good neighbors to their new and improved Jesus who now preferred working through the rich and powerful, and was no longer concerned with the poor and outcast.
I believe there is confusion in calling the Christianity of Constantine and that of Jesus by the same name. I’m not saying we should argue about who gets the label, but it is important for somebody to say if some Christians want to force their dogma into the public square, that is the Christianity of Constantine not Jesus!
Somebody needs to say, If there is a mass shooting and some Christians are more concerned about protecting their guns than the children, that is the Christianity of Constantine not Jesus!
Somebody needs to say if some Christians are more concerned about the the success of the American economy than the plight of the working poor, that is the Christianity of Constantine not Jesus!
And, finally, somebody needs to say, if the cross is a symbol of Christian superiority instead of a call to suffer on behalf of the oppressed of every nation, that is the Christianity of Constantine not Jesus!”

This statement is a passionate, rhetorically charged critique of what the author perceives as a distortion of Christianity through its historical entanglement with political power, especially during and after the time of Constantine. It blends historical commentary with moral and theological judgment. Let’s break it down in terms of accuracy and logical fallacies:

🔍 Accuracy

✅ Historically grounded elements:

  1. Constantine and Christianity:
    • It’s accurate that under Constantine (early 4th century), Christianity transitioned from a persecuted sect to a religion with state backing.
    • The First Council of Nicaea (325 CE) was convened under Constantine, and it did result in a creedal statement (the Nicene Creed). However, the idea that Constantine “forced” bishops to create creeds that had “little or nothing” to do with Jesus’ teachings is an overstatement. The council aimed to resolve theological disputes (like Arianism), not to invent Christianity anew.
  2. Christianity and power:
    • There’s scholarly consensus that after Constantine, Christianity increasingly aligned with imperial power. This alignment likely altered the tone and priorities of the institutional church—though to say the entire faith was reduced to “toadying” is more polemical than precise.
  3. Critique of modern political alliances:
    • The statement critiques modern Christianity’s associations with gun rights, nationalism, and capitalism. These critiques are interpretative rather than factual—they reflect a particular moral or theological perspective, not an empirical claim.

⚠️ Logical Fallacies and Rhetorical Devices

1. Hasty Generalization

  • The phrase “the new imperial Christians weren’t so good at loving their non-Christian neighbors” generalizes a vast and diverse group. Not all Christians under imperial Rome—or now—fit these critiques.

2. False Dichotomy (Either-Or Fallacy)

  • The argument often frames two mutually exclusive Christianities: Jesus’ Christianity (pure, servant-hearted) vs. Constantine’s Christianity (corrupt, power-hungry). Reality is more nuanced. Throughout history, many believers have expressed both sincere faith and problematic entanglements with power.

3. Appeal to Emotion

  • Lines like “more concerned about protecting their guns than the children” use emotionally powerful language to provoke a moral response. This doesn’t make the point false, but it’s more rhetorical than logical.

4. No True Scotsman

  • The assertion that certain political or cultural expressions of Christianity are “not the Christianity of Jesus” can lean into this fallacy: redefining a group in a way that excludes counterexamples (e.g., “no true Christian would do that”).

5. Slippery Slope (implied)

  • There’s an underlying suggestion that once Christianity became entangled with empire, it inevitably became morally compromised. While influence and compromise occurred, “inevitability” over-simplifies the range of Christian responses over time.

🧠 Summary

  • Historically inspired, but simplified and stylized for rhetorical impact.
  • The statement is best read as a prophetic or moral critique, not a scholarly argument.
  • Logical fallacies include: hasty generalization, false dichotomy, appeal to emotion, and potentially No True Scotsman.

Smart Car Buying: Why Timing Matters

If you have a television and watch commercials for car dealers, they tell you right now is the best time to buy with incredible savings. However, if you wait another month you will get the best savings of the year. Then the next month it will be the absolute best time for rock bottom prices that will never happen again in all of eternity. If you keep waiting for the best sale of the year it will never happen and you will keep driving your beater until it falls apart.

Get yourself a used police car with all the fixtures. This will allow you to drive faster than everyone and keep others going the speed limit. You can also pick up some extra cash by pulling people over and taking bribes.

The best time to buy a car is when you need one. If you are paying a monthly repair cost that equals a car payment and are inconvenienced by the constant time of your vehicle being in the shop or left stranded on the side of the road at 18-wheelers whiz by, then it’s time to start looking. There are plenty of websites that will help you negotiate the best deal possible.

Tip, just get yourself a bottle of this and close your eyes while driving so you feel like you have a new car.

The Ultimate Guide to Captivating Selfies: Focus on the Lens

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Please remember to look at the camera lens and not the image on your screen. It does make a difference. The selfies where your gaze is slightly askew are annoying. It’s even more irritating if you have a group shot and everyone is focused on themselves on the smartphone view screen. Think about it. You don’t go to Olan Mills and look off to the left or right (that’s for Glamour Shots only), you look at the lens!