Not sure why this phrase bothers me so much, but I hear it used all the time when parents praise their kids. “Good job, buddy! You did it all by yourself”. It also sounds condescending because of the tone of voice. Speak to an adult that way and it’s a totally different context. Typically, you get paid for a good job, but if you are not handing out paper with your praise, here are a few alternatives that I consciously express to my young ones.
Good work
Great effort
Fantastic accomplishment
Superb achievement
Impressive performance
Majestic results
Glorious showing
Just a few to get you started. Feel free to correct other parents.
On our way back from a long trip, we stopped at a gas station to use the toilets. I noticed a line of ladies had formed outside the bathrooms. As I approached the men’s room, a woman walked out and another one entered without hesitation.
Me: “Are we having some gender confusion here, ladies?”
Random Lady: “Women have babies, so we get to use your bathrooms”
I didn’t understand her logic, so I fired back…
Men get kicked in the testicles, so we can use your bathrooms?
Another time I went to a store and had to use the toilet. Surprisingly, there was only a “Family” and a woman’s restroom. My family wasn’t with me, so I had to use the women’s restroom, no other choice. It’s not the first time I’ve used a woman’s toilet. I was interviewing for a job and was exhausted from the long flight and the uncomfortable hotel bed. After my lunch with the recruiter, I met my sister at Sam’s club to buy some snacks. I stopped off at the bathroom first and wondered why there were no urinals. I picked a stall next to someone who was sitting. I stood up to pee as normal. As I walked out, I did a doubletake as I saw the “Men’s” sign as I exited the women’s restroom. My sister was doubled over in laughter, but I’m sure the lady who was still in the toilet was just as confused as I was. Now that we are moving to Gender Neutral restrooms in public places, this gives a whole new meaning to the term, “Baby Changing Stations”. I hope people don’t do anything stupid.
I’m not talking about landfills or the Pacific Ocean filling up with plastic bags. I’m referring to the decision-making process of how to throw out our rubbish. When did it become such a chore to throw something into the trash can? Back in the old days we just used to throw it on the ground or out the car window. That was until our Earth Day friends started showing commercials with Native Americans crying.
I try to do my duty when it comes to recycling, but even the local dump has implemented full garbage segregation. They have one bin for glass, one for plastic, and one for cardboard. I miss the days of throwing it all in one giant hole, covering it with gasoline, and setting it ablaze.
Do you let your kids eat breakfast by themselves? I imagine the family allowing this behavior that follows, simply saying, “Your Father and I are going to sleep in, go down to the breakfast area and eat whatever you want.”
As I was cooking a waffle there was a young child spooning chocolate chips into a coffee cup. He keeps looking over at me after each scoop until it was empty of its contents. I guess he wanted someone to tell him to stop. Then his younger brother came over, opened up the chocolate chip container saw that it was empty, and walked away. Their sister did the same thing.
Each child had a to-go box filled with breakfast items. One was filled with bananas, another with oranges, and another one with hot chocolate packets. All claimed it was food for the road. No one said anything, and it was quite a bit of food. I wonder what the parents thought when the kids brought all this food back to the room.
Jesus merely fainted on the cross and was revived later
Romans were good at killing people
Beaten, Scourged (which most didn’t survive)
Nailed to a cross
The spear pierced his heart
It does account for the empty tomb. Fails to explain Jesus’ death. Fails to explain why enemies of Jesus saw him, but I doubt the disciples would think Jesus had defeated death, looking like he did.
Jesus had a twin brother who took his place
The twin would have had to hide all of his life
Only to die for Jesus’ manipulation and deceit
This is the opposite of the rest of his teachings
Luke makes no mention of the twin in the birth narrative
Doesn’t explain the empty tomb If Jesus’ brother were dead, he would be in the tomb
Hallucination Theory – Amid their profound grief, the disciples experienced private and corporate hallucinations. Giving everyone the same experience
Perception of objects with no reality usually arises from disorder of the nervous system or in response to drugs
An unfounded or mistaken impression or notion: DELUSION
The possibility of several different people having the same exact hallucination in the same way at the same time is improbable
Remember, Jesus appeared to over 500 people in 40 days.
Doesn’t solve the problem of the empty tomb
Wrong Tomb -The followers of Jesus simply went to the wrong tomb
Mary Magdalene and “the other Mary” were at the tomb when Jesus was buried
The disciples recorded that women discovered the tomb, even though women were not considered reliable witnesses.
Pilate placed several Roman soldiers to guard the tomb
The oldest argument against the resurrection, which assumes that the correct tomb was visited
Doesn’t explain why friends and enemies saw Jesus after he died
The Alien Theory -Jesus was from another planet because:
Knowledge of Science and Medicine
Psychic abilities
Had the ability to heal himself in the tomb and escape unnoticed
Locate the disciples telepathically and transport himself there
It proves too much
Any objection can be dismissed by invoking Jesus’ alien nature
Everything looks supernatural to us, but is just common for his race
No way to prove right or wrong because it’s unfalsifiable
Commits the “confirmation bias” fallacy. Proves so much that it proves nothing
Legend
Christ was never taken down from the cross
Left to rot and eaten by wild animals.
Apostles didn’t care what happened to the body; they could carry on the ministry
Everything recorded in the Gospels about the burial and resurrection was invented to convey greater spiritual truths (via parables)
This was done to vindicate their slain leader
Doesn’t account for the Jewish claim of the Stolen body and the Empty tomb
There are so many historical details at the time that there would be plenty of evidence to counter the apostle’s claims
Sometimes the memory of your favorite foods is far better than the food itself. Once you’ve lived in different parts of the country and experienced different flavors and styles of cooking, your old favorites become the second-string runner-up. So if you have a favorite restaurant in a town you no longer live in, stay away. Keep that memory and don’t ruin it by eating there ever again.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, obviously, it was chasing after the other chicken. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I’ve always believed it was the chicken. But if a chicken isn’t a “bird of the sky,” was the chicken created on day six instead of day five?
In a song – “come what may” I used to think this says “come with me”, but in our nouns as verbs society, a better phrase would be “because of happen”
In a movie – “We’re not in Kansas Anymore” unless it’s the Wizard of Oz. This usually happens when someone doesn’t recognize their surroundings or is in a strange place.
At work,“Can I ask you a quick question?” The question is always quick, but it’s the answer that takes forever. The “quick” question is usually the first sign someone is about to dump some work on you and take the credit.
If you have to use a porta-potty, find the largest one, chances are there is a dry patch for you to stand in while you try to hit the target. Try not to look down the hole it will break your concentration and you will mess yourself. If you must defecate, you should probably wait until you go home.
I don’t understand why so many people are getting tattoos on their feet. Nor do I understand why people want to expose their feet and draw attention to them with a big flower. If your work doesn’t allow tattoos, you can silently rebel by getting one that you can cover with a sock. Maybe you can get a tattoo of a shoe so you can not wear shoes at work.
Daily Irritant 
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