Don’t you love it when you go over to someone’s house and it’s spotless? Well, it’s because you planned the visit. Go over in about a week, but unannounced. If it’s still spotless, don’t stay friends with that person. They will just make you feel bad about yourself because you and your life are a filthy mess.
However, if you invite someone over, please clean your house the best you’ve ever done in your life. Once they get there say things like. “Sorry this place is such a mess” Then you can make them feel bad and they will think you have such higher cleaning standards. Then they will not be your friend anymore.
The trick is to just leave your house a little dirty, let people know that you are still human.
It puzzles me when someone says there is no such thing as absolute truth. I’ve found that to be absolutely false. There are two universal absolute truths in this world and here they are.
If you complain, someone will jump in to tell you they’re worse off than you.
If you brag, someone will jump in and tell you how much better they are than you.
It’s fantastic that retailers still do mail-in rebates. Instead of offering a rebate you just offer a lower-priced product by the rebate amount. You will move more products and not bait and switch.
I don’t clip coupons because they are a waste of time and I won’t purchase a product, cut out the barcode, copy my receipt and wait for the mailman to steal my rebate. Western Digital still owes me $50 from 1998 for a 500 MB hard drive.
I own both YETI and RTIC products. However, I used to prefer RTIC just because of the price. People are really obsessed with the YETI product name and will continue to purchase them even though it will deplete their bank account.
As part of my traveling and tournament soft/base ball essentials, this SoftPak 20 will almost fit under the ice maker at most hotels. If you angle it right you can obtain a direct feed from the ice mouth. I will also take along my Yeti/RTIC tumbler to fill up with rabbit turd ice from a Pilot/Flying J Travel Center.
Both Yeti and RTIC tumblers are great, they keep your drink cold for beyond a reasonable amount of time. They also keep your coffee hot and undrinkable for far too long a duration. I’m sure in about 10 years there will be a study that shows how we are all dying from stainless steel poisoning caused by a manufacturing defect from China. However, you will save money by choosing RTIC.
YETI Roadie 15 Hard Cooler with DoubleDuty Shoulder Strap
If there isn’t already there should be a LOL day. There is a holiday now for every occasion, so why not for LOL’s. For an entire day simply put LOLs in the comment section for all your social media friends. Don’t bother reading the posts, just put LOL. Should be fine no matter what. Don’t just type LOL, but literally LOL. I mean LOL from the belly and make everyone think you are insane just for one day of the year.
If you are married then stop calling it a date night. You are no longer dating, you are now married. Unless you are unfaithful or you focus your evening eating a bunch of phoenix dactylifera then it’s just a night out with your wife, husband, wife and, husband, or whatever our country had defined two wedded partners to be.
Also, stop calling it babysitting your kids when your wife has a “girls night out”. Also, they are women, not girls. At least call it Ladies Night so you can get the Kool and the Gang song stuck in your head.
There’s a lot of good softball action in the NCAA, that is, in between umpires reviewing the calls. Seriously, umpires are about as effective as a WWE ref. Here’s what needs to happen to make it watchable again.
No more leave early reviews
Every homerun with a runner on base is now subject to a “left early” review. Kills the momentum of the game. Everyone stands around while the umps go watch the replay and confirm what everyone already knows. However, watching the losing team save a review for the walk-off play to delay the celebrations is fun.
Pitch Counts
Letting someone throw 160 pitches in a game is borderline abuse. Yes, the motion is different. However, you still move muscles, tendons, and ball/socket joints. There is also stress on the hips, femur, and shin bones. Pitch counts benefit your team by requiring them to develop a pitching staff. This prevents the overuse of your superstar and avoids injury.
No more arguing balls and strikes
The umpires are calling too many balls. Umpires don’t call the strike zone anymore. They call down the middle. This gives the advantage to the hitter by looking for a sweet spot meatball. Umpires need to call the corners and allow pitchers to hone their craft.
Let umps make the call
No more coaches calling safe from the first and third box. Do you know how you can increase your chances of being safe? Run though the bag and don’t try to make airplane wings calling yourself safe.
No more check swing reviews
Unless it’s by a field ump, keep that person paying attention to the game
Slappers can only foul it off 3 times
You get only one chance for a bunt on strike three. No more fifteen foul ball slap at bats.
No more obstruction calls
You want the bag or plate? You’ve best hit the weight room and then knock that ball out of their glove.
In game suspensions for..
Anyone who yells “Let’s Go” more than once
Excessive celebrations for catching fly balls or grounders (Spiking the softball)
Automattic forfeit for anyone who starts the cheer that sounds like the 2 Live Crew, “Hey we want some…”
Daily Irritant 
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