Category: Food and Beverage

How hot is too hot?

~ SA Otey
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Wall of Sauce at Heaven on 7th in Chicago

There are sauces that are hot and full of flavor and there are sauces that are so hot they are just full of hatred. I’ve tasted some mighty hot sauces in my day but there comes a point when you’ve got to put your pride aside and try to enjoy some flavor rather than just pure heat.

My latest encounter with heat was with Hattie B’s “Shut the cluck up” hot chicken. It was full of flavor but the heat was almost unbearable potentially ruining the meal. There’s a fine line between heat and taste. You want to tiptoe the line to know what causes hiccups or a vomit reflex. But you want enough heat to induce sweating and a slight watering of the eyes.

Here are my top hottest things ever that have left a scar on my memory, in no particular order.

  • I ate a Tabasco pepper from the bottle at Po’Folks restaurant when I was a kid, the first time ever tried anything hot. I was hooked!
  • Hattie B’s Chicken, it might have been a while since I ate something this hot so I must have lost some of the tolerance
  • Grilled Red Jalapeno at a family cookout. I can’t remember if it was a Jalapeno or Habanero, but I just picked it up and ate it. I ate the whole thing at once and it really hurt my face and body.
  • First taste of viscous viper hot sauce. I was eating at a restaurant in Hardy Arkansas and put too much on my food.
  • Braveheart Wings from Wild Wing Cafe in Charleston, SC. I ordered six of them and ate them all, and regretted it after the first bite. The next day was even worse.
  • Bushido’s level 10 Sushi roll. I had to sign a release form.

If we are being honest, the whole point of heating hot food is so you don’t have to share it with your family.

Why do people still litter?

~ SA Otey
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Pennywise will come to eat you if you litter.

Well, for one it’s easier to throw your garbage out of the window for someone else to deal with. What’s not easy is putting your trash in the map pocket of your car, or God forbid you have a small trash bag in your car, and then emptying it out at the next destination.

The worst litter job I’ve ever seen was a man throwing entire bags of McDonald’s drive-through out of his window. I’m not sure if he didn’t like the food or maybe his family didn’t appreciate all the hard work he performed that week and he disposed of their dinner in protest of their ungratefulness. Nonetheless, I saw the car rock back and forth, and then three large bags of food flew. They were full bags too, fries burst out and went everywhere. It was quite a spectacle to behold.

How to ruin your coffee experience

~ SA Otey
Stale Makers

The only thing worse than buying ground coffee is grinding it yourself in the store. Coffee begins to go stale in two minutes after grinding, so you are actually wasting your time to make your coffee worse. Not only that but you are mingling your beans with somebody who just chewed up 20 pounds of Folgers in these worn-out gears. Buy a good burr grinder for your home countertop. Grind just what you need for your preferred brewing method and store the beans in an air tight container

Recommended Items

Bodum 34oz Bistro Gooseneck Electric Water Kettle, Pour Over Coffee & Tea, Brushed Stainless Steel
KitchenAid Burr Coffee Grinder
Bodum 12oz Brazil French Press Coffee Maker, High-Heat Borosilicate Glass, Black – Made in Portugal

1LB Patented Airtight Multi-use Vacuum Works as Smell Proof Ground Coffee Bean Containers.

Hand scooped ice cream.

~ SA Otey


I’m not sure about you, but I prefer “scoop” scooped ice cream. Not a fan of someone sticking their hands into the ice cream containers and placing a glob on the top of my cone. This applies equally to hand-spun milkshakes. Why would anyone want someone to stick their dirty digit into a cup of ice cream and milk and shake it? No thanks.

Best flavors of Ice Cream…

~ SA Otey
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Gas prices in 2017!

I’m guessing it’s dipped out with a scoop and not “dip” flavored. Wintergreen would be OK as long as it’s laced with Nicotine. Mouth tobacco is something I’ve never understood or cared for. I did try it once when my Dad brought home a case of it that was damaged in shipment. I’ll set the scene for you.

That night, my mother prepared Tuna Helper for dinner, and I had two hot, heaping helpings. I grabbed a hockey puck-sized can of whatever brand of black tar it was and stepped outside to enjoy a pinch. Well, I wish I knew a pinch was all you needed. I proceeded to load up both cheeks full of tobacco mouth mulch. It wasn’t long before I started to feel cold and tingly, and the trees around me started to spin and bend in half before my eyes. My parents thought they saw a ghost as a bright white streak ran past them and into the family toilet room. I unloaded the majority of the aforementioned tuna helper directly into the bowl with a single motion. Once I got a whiff of half-digested tuna and noodles coated in black soot, the remaining chicken of the sea found its way into the sewer entrance to swim its way back home.

To this day, the smell of “dip” reminds me of that night.  However, I really liked Tuna Helper, but I can’t even look at the box now.

Great taste both ways!

Pumpkin Spice Sneak Attack

~ SA Otey

When did pumpkin spice get all over and inside of everything? I don’t remember it being associated with Fall as much as it is now. The Pumpkin Spice things have started rolling out in August there at least needs to be a moratorium until the first day of fall. You have to admit it’s gotten out of control.

By the way, pumpkin spice is CINNAMON, GINGER, NUTMEG, ALLSPICE, AND SULFITING AGENTS. There is no pumpkin in there at all.

Are you Old School or New School?

~ SA Otey

What does “Old School” even mean? I guess it’s the same as “Classic” or old for that matter. It conjures up images of senior citizens eating corn on the cob with their dentures. Apparently, corn on the cob and apples are the standard for all elderly dental work adhesives. Old school also renders mental images of break-dancers with bandanas and fat shoelaces booming their boxes with fun party hip-hop music before the curse word-laden rhymes took the spotlight.

When does it become “Old School”? Just because a restaurant comes up with a new recipe for a cheeseburger doesn’t automatically render all other cheeseburgers as “Old School”. The same goes for hot dogs and pizza. You’ve only come up with a new recipe, you didn’t change the paradigm for the food industry going forward. Wow yeah, you put a fried egg on all foods and now it’s new school?

“New school” is supposed to be cutting edge and fresh, something never done before. Everything has been done before, people just forget and steal other ideas and make it their own.

Does the slow carb diet work?

~ SA Otey
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Biscuits and Gravy from Tudor’s Biscuit World (2004)

The slow-carb diet is/was the best diet for me. I’ve been on and off diet/lifestyle since January 2016. According to my doctor, my weight peaked at about 292 lbs. Right before Thanksgiving 2016, I weighed in at 233 lbs, and during that year, and did not do one bit of exercise. You can read about the diet on the Tim Ferris website or buy his book The Four Hour Body. I did both.

What I love most about the diet is how well you feel during the week, your mind is sharp and you have an overall feeling of wellness. What I used to love but not so much anymore is the cheat day. You can eat whatever you want, quite literally. I think my progress has slowed down because I don’t do a proper cheat day anymore and I don’t eat enough during the week. I don’t like the cheat day because I feel miserable the day of and the day after. Here is what a proper cheat day looks like

  • 3 Biscuits and Sausage Gravy (9am)
  • Bag of Flaming Hot Munchies (Doritos, Sun Chips, Cheetos, etc.) (12 p.m.)
  • 3 Chicken strips with Thai Curry Sauce from BWW  and Waffle Fries(1pm)
  • Homewrecker from Moe’s with Chips (6:30pm)
  • Ice cream – Oreo Mint from Cookout (7pm)

I’ve started to walk every morning and do more weightlifting because I’m getting older and starting to feel weak. I’m sure in a few years people will figure out that intermittent fasting/keto is not good for you and and is actually killing you faster, that’s just my guess.

Affordable Food Choices for Every Household

~ SA Otey

Honestly, I’m just grateful that I can fill up a cart without feeling like I need to take out a loan. Aldi keeps me guessing with their mystery aisle treasures, Walmart always comes through in a pinch, and the warehouse store makes me feel like I’m stocking up for the apocalypse. It may not be Instagram-worthy like a Trader Joe’s haul, but I walk out with food that tastes good, fills me up, and doesn’t leave my wallet in tears. At the end of the day, laughter, full bellies, and a stocked pantry beat fancy labels any time.

I don’t live in a nice enough part of town to shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s. I have slum it and make do with what I have available. I typically only shop at three stores. Aldi, Walmart, and some sort of big box warehouse store. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of Whole Foods, but don’t feel it warrants the price for the food. The human bodies digestion system is pretty amazing and I don’t think it matters how much the food costs. Organic doesn’t mean that much to me and if it only takes a few extra years away from my life, I’m OK with that.

Top Cereal Choices for Chocolate Milk Lovers

~ SA Otey

I’ve never been a huge fan of cereal because of all the sugar and milk. Here are a few of my favorites and why.

  • Kashi Go Lean Crunch – It’s like eating a wicker basket, and it cleans you out. Plus it gives you non-stop gas to torment your family with. I try to eat a bowl before I go play golf so I can get an extra boost on the golf swing and distract the others from their game.
  • Frosted Mini-Wheats – Fill a bowl with ears of wheat and milk and let it sit for a few minutes. It turns the brillo pads into a nice soggy frosted pillow of tastiness.
  • Cracklin’ Oat Bran – not sure why I like this one, it was in the cabinet one morning when I was a kid.
  • Life – It’s simple, just like real life is. Glad there is no “Death” cereal, or maybe that’s what Marshmallow Madness is.
  • Fruity Pebbles – If I had to choose one super sugary cereal, it would be this one. It’s like eating a bowl of candy and the milk wash after looks like the runoff after a preschool is washing out the paint trays after they’ve finger painted mothers day cards, but more delicious.
Great with Chocolate Milk!