Category: Food and Beverage

Homemade Hot Chicken Sauce Recipe for Spice Lovers

~ SA Otey

I had several people recommend Hattie B’s so I had to try it. I’ve been a chili head since I was a teenager, so I had to go for the top rung of “Shut the Cluck Up” Hot Chicken. I’ll admit it was very hot. My body had an instant reaction, I started to hiccup and my eyeballs turned red and began to leak capsicum.  The piece of bread underneath was disintegrated into a pool of grease and fire juice. There were a few pickle chips as well, but at that point, I couldn’t feel my face so my taste buds were dysfunctional.

The real “wake-up call” came the next day at 6am. I’m so glad I had the foreknowledge to pack some Cottonelle wipes, it literally saved my behind from the exit wounds. Doesn’t matter how much of a heat tolerance your upper orifice can handle, the lower one is never able to compensate.

Tip: Order the Damn Hot and Shut the Cluck Up, eat the Damn Hot First, the second doesn’t seem as bad

My recipe for Hot Chick Sauce

  • 2 sticks of butter
  • 2 tbs brown suger
  • 1 tbs Garlic Powder
  • 1 tbs Paprika
  • Salt and Pepper to taste
  • 4 tbs of Cayenne Pepper
  • Carolina Reaper Dust to taste and heat level

How to increase gas production in the USA!

~ SA Otey


There have been a few go-to items I reach for if I need to produce a ton of gas. Why do I need to produce so much gas? Because it’s funny and my friends enjoy the noise. Boiled eggs paired with a brimming bowl of Kashi Go Lean Crunch will generate stomach-churning flatus power for hours. Depending on the bowl size and how many eggs you ate, you will get tired of farting. You might even gag when you wake yourself up from the loudness of your new tooting alarm.

Why Long John Silver’s Is a Seafood Classic

~ SA Otey
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Yes, I am hungry.

When you travel, it’s nice to stop off somewhere for a quick bite to eat. However, fast food has become increasingly unappetizing. Kentucky Fried Fish or Long John Chicken are two that I have a soft spot for. Well, several soft spots and not just because Long John Silver’s got me out of the hospital when I was a kid.

The sad thing is more and more Long John Silver’s are setting sail over the horizon and falling off our flat earth. While I’m not a fan of hybrid restaurants, I think they could do better to draw in more foodies. For instance, take the batter from Long John Silver’s and infuse it with KFC’s 11 herbs and spices. Take a couple of fish planks and cover them in mashed potatoes and gravy for a nice Irish fisherman’s pie. The possibilities are endless!

How to order coffee at Starbucks

~ SA Otey
beans coffee drink cafe
Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

Does anyone drink coffee anymore? Whenever I sit at a Starbucks or similar coffee house and hear someone order a beverage it sounds way too complicated. It’s mostly milk/cream, and sugar with very little coffee added. It’s more like a coffee-flavored beverage. I get coffee, it’s easy, and all it needs to be added is a cup. But seriously, the only way to order coffee at Starbucks is to buy the beans and grind them at home to use them in your French Press. That is if you like over-roasted beans.

Recently it’s tough to walk in and order a coffee. You would think your best bet is using the app. However, the drive-thru gets the priority. I’ve ordered on the app, drove a few miles, and waited at the counter for 10 minutes for a venti black coffee with nothing added. The whole process was a half hour while the drive-thru recycled several times.

A family is not required

~ SA Otey
Swig and Swine Family tray of meat

If you have the option to order a family platter of anything, you should. If the family is a qualifier then tell them you have a family, but they are not with you. When you order a family platter ask if it’s a family of pigs you are eating or if the quantity is meant to be consumed by a family. That’s an important piece of information, otherwise, you may eat too much.

Also, everyone needs a family. That title was misleading.

Starbucks is the new Maxwell House

~ SA Otey
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My Old Setup in 2002

Today, people flock to Starbucks because it’s what they know; they don’t know any better. Growing up, I could not stand the taste of coffee. My parents and grandparents would pour these foul-smelling cups of what looked like oil runoff from the Sears Auto Center.  It’s what they knew because it was the cornerstone of the market. People get used to what they know, and it’s hard to change.

Current setup

When I buy Starbucks coffee, I get the jitters because there is so much caffeine in each cup. It’s like they spray the beans with extra caffeine before they grind them. Get to know a local roaster. It’s the best way to get your coffee; it will cost less and taste much better. Keep it simple with a Press Pot, Hot Water Kettle and a good burr grinder.

How to pick a good watermelon

~ SA Otey
close up photography of sliced watermelons

Now that it’s hot and humid outside, what better way to cool down than with a slice of watermelon? If you ever see somebody with a pickup bed full of melons, here’s how to get a deal. For instance, if you can get one for $6 or two for $10. Buy two of them and then ask to return one of them. Since one watermelon is worth $6 dollars you end up paying only $4 for the one watermelon. It’s a great deal. If they don’t accept returns, just smash both of your watermelons all over the pavement so that the onlookers can see. It’s only $10, and how fun is it to smash a watermelon? Just ask Gallagher.

Gallagher – The Smashing Watermelon Collection [DVD]

Homemade vs. Restaurant Food: What’s the Difference?

~ SA Otey
Schmidt’s in Columbus Ohio

When you hear someone talk about a restaurant and they say that everything here is homemade, do they actually make the food at their home and then bring it to their restaurant? Why not just serve the food out of their house instead of transporting it to another place? Seems to me they would save a ton of money and not have to reheat everything.

It’s pretty easy to recreate Olive Garden dishes at home. All you have to do is go to your grocer’s freezer section and pick up a selection of Marie Callender’s entrees. Well, actually, Marie’s tastes better.

Why Chewing Gum Needs BBQ and Fast Food Flavors

~ SA Otey
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As a kid, I wished they would come up with new chewing gum flavors. Juicy Fruit, Fruit Stripe, and Double Mint flavors only lasted about a minute after the initial chew. I was looking for flavors like Kentucky Fried Chicken or McDonald’s French fries gum.

People go nuts for Jelly Belly beans and even the Beanboozled flavors, so why have we not crossed this marketing line with chewing gum? Imagine a Cool Ranch Doritos or Hot buttered popcorn-flavored gum. The possibilities are endless when you think about a BBQ-based line of flavors. Bacon, Pulled Pork, Pork Belly, or even Brisket flavored. I’m sure it would sell out…

Tip: Slip a few of these into a regular bag of Jelly Bellies.

Struggles with Biscuit Bags: Tips for Easy Opening

~ SA Otey

I don’t know if there is some insider secret but my success rate with opening biscuit bags is about 1%. It’s simple, right? Tear here and then pull apart the zip lock seal. Almost never happens to me. I tear, I rip, and I split. You might ask, why am I eating frozen biscuits and not farm-to-table ones? I eat frozen biscuits because I don’t eat them very often and they are easy. I can’t tell the difference between a fresh and a frozen biscuit and I don’t live near a Tudors so it’s not that big of a deal to me. I just hope they invent some better biscuit bag technology. Maybe I’m just too impatient when opening the bag?