Category: Parenting

Treating your kids like pets.

~ SA Otey

IMG_3450
As a follow-up to a previous post, there is another phenomenon going on in our society where kids are treated like animals. It hasn’t reached its apex quite yet. This says way more about the parents than it does the kids. These parents do not know how to handle their children and can’t set boundaries, so they create artificial ones.

You can make it look like a monkey on their back, but nothing is more demeaning than putting a child on a leash. What’s next, feeding your child from a bowl on the floor? Maybe take their diaper off and let them crap in the yard? Why not a shock collar and invisible fence so they don’t leave the yard?

How about putting them in a dog crate so they won’t destroy your house while you’re gone. Wow, I guess I forgot what I was talking about. Maybe take off the leash and let your kid make some mistakes. That’s how they learn.

What are pet parents?

~ SA Otey

petParents
First of all, pets are not children, they are animals. Yes, children are technically animals but they are a higher class and they eventually can clean up their own feces. Dogs can not pick up their own poop unless you consider eating feces cleaning up. Thankfully, my children have never eaten their own excrement, that I know of.

More and more I’m seeing dogs in strollers and in baby carriers at airports. People are using “service dogs” for all sorts of reasons. There are people who actually need service dogs and I understand that. But some people are severely allergic to dogs. If you are sitting near a dog, you are going to have a bad flight, especially if the dog takes a dump in the seat.

IMG_2637

Bumper stickers are taking shots at parents by saying that their dog is smarter than their honor student. Nonsense, let’s see your dog use a pencil and write their name or enter a spelling bee. Women proudly display “Dog Mom” on their cars, but we already have another name for that and it probably fits the bill.

Honestly, I wish raising kids was as easy as having a pet, but it’s not nearly as rewarding. Kids are awesome and not just because they don’t eat their own feces.

Why do people hold hands?

~ SA Otey
ground group growth hands
Extreme hand holding

I’ve never understood why people hold hands. I see many couples holding hands in public places. It’s a signal that the person is saying, “Hey, look at me, I’ve got another human as my companion, aren’t you jealous?” I also think these people are insecure, and they need to hold that person’s hand because they are low in self-confidence or just prideful and showing off that someone likes them enough to latch on. However,  my children hold my hand while walking across the interstate. So there’s that.

Is Motherhood Harder Today Than in the Past?

~ SA Otey
IMG_2671

“Motherhood” is considered offensive in our fast-paced world of intolerance and sensitivity. Is it more difficult to be a Mom in this society than a few decades ago?

Well, no, a few decades ago, you had small children, now you have adults who are your children, and you can do what you want. But if you are a mother today with small children, it’s tough because small children are hard to manage sometimes. However, if your small children are large, then they’re strenuous to lift unless you are one of the weightlifter moms who gets your kids fat on purpose so you can build your muscles. That’s wrong. Maybe you should just stick to weights and put your baby on a healthy eating plan. If you want to, I’m not telling you how to mom your kids.

The Truth Behind ‘Growing Up Too Fast’

~ SA Otey
http_a.amz.mshcdn.comwp-contentuploads201507tallestman-20
“They grew up too fast!”

People are always saying this about their children. However, it’s very sad for me. Usually, people say this when they haven’t seen their kids in a while because the lapse in time periods makes it seem as if the child is growing at an alarming rate. It’s even worse if a parent says this about their own kids. It makes me think that you are not paying attention to your kid. Unless you are injecting your kids with HGH or they have a pituitary gland disorder then your kids are probably growing at a normal pace for a human. Or maybe it’s just a figure of speech, who knows!

Stop telling your kids they’re doing a good job

~ SA Otey

Good job?

Not sure why this phrase bothers me so much, but I hear it used all the time when parents praise their kids. “Good job, buddy! You did it all by yourself”. It also sounds condescending because of the tone of voice. Speak to an adult that way and it’s a totally different context. Typically, you get paid for a good job, but if you are not handing out paper with your praise, here are a few alternatives that I consciously express to my young ones.

  • Good work
  • Great effort
  • Fantastic accomplishment
  • Superb achievement
  • Impressive performance
  • Majestic results
  • Glorious showing

Just a few to get you started. Feel free to correct other parents.

Why Kids Need the Thrill of Old Swings

~ SA Otey


In our age of helicopter parenting, we now have to ensure our kids don’t fall off swings. The super swing disc looks like a great idea, but it’s not cheaper than an old tire tied to a rope to a tree branch that will snap at any moment. I mean, that was the whole point of swings, the danger! Swinging on an old rusty hole-ridden swing set with uneven legs rocking back and forth is how we tested our limits of fear.

There was always that one moment when you reached the height of the upper support bar and felt as if you were going to break free of gravity and sail into the treeline behind you. It was flying off the swing or crashing onto the gravel below. No, we didn’t have rubber mulch back then either.

I’ve let my kids fall off the swing set, walk behind them, and get clobbered by the person swinging. You know what? They never tried it that way again. They have to learn the hard way. Let them fail, just don’t laugh at them when they do. Well, don’t let them see you.

Top Habits to Raise Responsible Children

~ SA Otey

Being kind, generous, courteous, and having good manners, blah, blah, blah. There are more important things to teach your children if they want to be successful humans.

Turning off lights when leaving a room

Instead of turning on every lamp, closet light, ceiling fan, and overhead light. Turn off all electric currents.

Making sure the refrigerator door is shut

No, that beeping is not from the garbage truck outside. It is not hauling away all the toys you’ve left on the floor. It’s the refrigerator cooling the entire house.

Proper toilet lid usage

If you sit, the top lid goes up. If you stand, both lids go up. When you are done, both lids go down. Then flush. The urine and feces flush plume is real.

Staying in your own bed

Just because you can’t sleep doesn’t mean you should ruin ours. If the door is locked do not knock. If there is a fire we will save you.

Not leaving dishes all over the house

Cereal bowls with spoons is a shallow puddles of milk. Half-empty cups of water with straws. Applesauce or fruit cups have the lid attached. The spoon’s weight leaves a trail of syrup on the table’s surface.

Putting clothes in the hamper

Not on the hamper lid or around the hamper, but inside of the hamper.

Taking the trash out of the car

When you exit the vehicle take all your items and garage stuffed in the side doors. All garbage off the floor. I remember my first car growing a plant in the floorboard because I didn’t vacuum it on a regular basis.

This list is just the beginning for your child to become a better human.

Why Bragging About Kids Often Backfires

~ SA Otey

https://amzn.to/49qPQQd

You have to be careful when bragging about your kids. Just know someone will “one-up” you almost immediately, if not sooner. For instance…

“Our baby is finally sleeping through the night”

“It’s nice right! My infant started sleeping through the first night we brought him home from the hospital”

“I think I see a tooth popping through!”

“Yay for you, of course, my infant already has his adult teeth, in fact, we let him open our soup cans”

“I think I just heard him say Mama”

“Really? I’ve been having conversations with my child for months now. He’s already moved on to Latin and Mandarin.”

“He took his first steps!”

“That’s nothing, my kid started walking as soon as he was born, in fact, I was 52cm dilated and he walked out of my uterus.”

“He has figured out how to open the baby gate!”

“Well, our kid didn’t have enough weight to push the foot pedal to open the gate, but he managed to find the toolbox and use the screwdrivers to disassemble the gate to let himself out”

“I think we are finally potty-trained after a few short weeks!”

“That’s great! Our kid was potty trained on the first try, of course, he was changing his own diapers since birth anyway”

“Our kid learns songs so quickly he has such a great memory”

“Let me know when he learns to play an instrument with precision such as mine that is the same age. He can join our band and start touring”

“First day of Kindergarten!”

“How sweet! Sorry, your kid was held back by your terrible parenting. We started at age 3 and we are already moving on to Linear Algebra at age 5”

What about socialization for homeschooled kids?

~ SA Otey
auditorium benches chairs class
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

One of the most frequently asked questions about home-schooling is socialization. I simply ask “Do you mean being allowed to talk and interact when and how they want like a normal human?”. I like to jog the public school parents’ memory of what their kids are experiencing in school right now.

  • Standing/Walking in single file down hallways
  • Sitting at a desk for 6 hours
  • Getting in trouble for doodling or passing notes
  • Having to raise your hand to speak
  • Asking permission for a drink of water
  • Asking permission to go to the toilet
  • Maybe if they are good and don’t socialize they will get a 15-30 break to socialize outside under strict supervision.

Homeschool kids get plenty of socialization such as little league, co-ops, nature walks, and of course going to all the nice local parks while other kids are in school. Also, going to major theme parks when other kids are in school is nice.