Category: Shopping

Don’t be ashamed buying feminine products.

~ SA Otey

rafikiPadsI think all guys are required to buy feminine products for their spouse as a married man’s right of passage. It’s a humbling experience and an awkward one if there is another woman in the aisle, especially if you ask for recommendations. Almost as awkward when you ask a waiter for a sanitary napkin when you really meant a wet nap.

I think the worst pad pickup was when we were out of town traveling back from a 10-hour drive. As much as I enjoy being trapped in a cage with a honey badger after spending time with in-laws, it doesn’t help when I have to make a late-night visit to a strange town to get uterine diapers. For some reason, I went to Wal-Mart that night. As usual, there are about 500 registers at Wal-Mart, but only two are staffed. I noticed a short express line and only two people waiting, but as soon as I entered the cashier turned off her light. When she finished checking out the person in front of me she spat her venomous rejection that she was closing down.  In an act of desperation after seeing thousands of people with buggies filled with dog food and I raised my voice drawing attention to myself and the cashier. “Ma’am I’ve very sorry but my wife is bleeding in our hotel room” I called attention to my only item raising it high for all to see like Rafiki holding up Simba. She lowered her head and apologized, “I completely understand”. I was her last customer for the night.

Best techniques in furniture restoration

~ SA Otey
IMG_0849
Sofa table I made, because my wife found one like it for $300

One person’s trash is another person’s trash to deal with now. Why do you think they sold it for so cheap, or it was left on the curb to rot? My favorite way to restore furniture is to return it back to its original state. That is dust. Throw the old piece of furniture into the garbage where it belongs. Go buy yourself some fresh new quality furniture. Keep those furniture makers employed, or better yet, make your own!

No light on at the checkout line…

~ SA Otey
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

When I notice a cashier ringing up customers and see the register number light is off I don’t get in their line. If they have a closed placard on the conveyor belt this is a sure signal that they are closing down. However, there are people who will put their groceries on the belt anyway. Even go as far as to move the placard. The cashier will say they are closing down the line but the people don’t budge. This is the equivalent of going into a steak restaurant and ordering a well-done rib eye five minutes before closing. It’s rude to enter a place of business so late. Also, who cooks their steak well? Savages that’s who.

Essential Tips for Buying and Selling on eBay

~ SA Otey
Click picture to buy this tape gun!

Buying

  • Know the time your item ends and have a prompt payment.
  • Inspect the item and give prompt feedback.
  • Don’t blame the eBayer if the delivery is lost.

Selling

  • Don’t over price your item (aim to get it sold)
  • Offer free shipping, but include the price of shipping in your buy it now.
  • Ship the item within a day.
  • Don’t be so quick to leave feedback, wait until they give you positive feedback.
  • If they are unfair in their feedback, respond reciprocally.

It’s that simple.

Check out my items for sale => https://www.ebay.com/usr/odiwan

Get some bulk mailing supplies

Save some time and print your labels

Smart Car Buying: Why Timing Matters

~ SA Otey

If you have a television and watch commercials for car dealers, they tell you right now is the best time to buy with incredible savings. However, if you wait another month you will get the best savings of the year. Then the next month it will be the absolute best time for rock bottom prices that will never happen again in all of eternity. If you keep waiting for the best sale of the year it will never happen and you will keep driving your beater until it falls apart.

Get yourself a used police car with all the fixtures. This will allow you to drive faster than everyone and keep others going the speed limit. You can also pick up some extra cash by pulling people over and taking bribes.

The best time to buy a car is when you need one. If you are paying a monthly repair cost that equals a car payment and are inconvenienced by the constant time of your vehicle being in the shop or left stranded on the side of the road at 18-wheelers whiz by, then it’s time to start looking. There are plenty of websites that will help you negotiate the best deal possible.

Tip, just get yourself a bottle of this and close your eyes while driving so you feel like you have a new car.

The Truth About Shipping Costs and Free Shipping Myths

~ SA Otey
FedUpLogo

How many people empty their virtual shopping cart once they get to check out and see that shipping is 50% or more of the purchase price? This happens a lot on eBay. Those catcher’s shin guards are a great price at $35 until you see that it’s $50 to ship it.

Don’t fall for the lure of free shipping because it doesn’t exist.  Sellers should just say, “I’ll pay for shipping” because FedUps doesn’t pick up your box and say, “This one’s on us”.  Most of the time shipping is built into the price of the item.  When something costs $1 to make and sells for $50, offering free shipping is pretty easy. When those infomercials double up your offer but just pay “processing”, be prepared for sticker shock. I’ll just stick to my Amazon Prime Free Shipping that I pay for upfront every year.

https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/51556654-fedup-with-politics-in-2024?store_id=339207

I’ve kept a seat warm for you…

~ SA Otey
Who else gets excited over a contoured seat?

Sometimes it’s a great thing to say, “I’ve kept a seat warm for you”. However, when you are coming out of the stall and saying this to the next patron, things might get weird. Sometimes you don’t know how recently the toilet was in use. Some people may like it, but when I sit down and the seat’s still warm, I get a little uneasy.

The Truth About Mail-In Rebates

~ SA Otey
letter-mail-mailbox-postbox.jpg
How about sending me my money!

It’s fantastic that retailers still do mail-in rebates. Instead of offering a rebate you just offer a lower-priced product by the rebate amount. You will move more products and not bait and switch.

I don’t clip coupons because they are a waste of time and I won’t purchase a product, cut out the barcode, copy my receipt and wait for the mailman to steal my rebate. Western Digital still owes me $50 from 1998 for a 500 MB hard drive.

Keep shopping while you wait to check out…

~ SA Otey

Recently I was picking up some eyeglasses at Costco. Side note, if you don’t have insurance for your eyeballs then Costco is the way to go for exams and corrective lenses. When I got to the counter and the lady asked how could she help me. From the other side of the showcase, a lady said she was here first. Yeah, she was there first but she was still shopping and trying on glasses for her child. She was there first but wasn’t in line to pay, there is a difference. It’s like going to the grocery store and getting there when the doors open, shopping for hours, and cutting in front of someone who just arrived and got their items and is ready to check out. People love the FIFO system, but sometimes LIFO is relevant.

Also, Why are the horned-rimmed glasses from the ’50s and 60’s so popular? The same glasses that labeled you a nerd then are making you cool today. Strange world.

Mastering Self-Checkout: Tips for a Smooth Experience

~ SA Otey

Self-checkouts are far superior to express checkouts because you don’t have to interact with humans and let them handle your goods. Follow these simple tips to get in and out and back to your hobbit hole in no time.

No light items

Items must be heavy enough to register on the scale. Kool-Aid packets are a great example. Purchasing Kool-Aid also shows you make poor decisions, so getting in this line probably reveals this.

No Alcohol

At this point in our technological world of grocery purchasing, there is no DNA test or retinal scans to prove your age. If a cashier has to come over to verify your age you are in the wrong line. Plus you need to buy your booze at a liquor store so you won’t run into someone from your bible study class and pretend like you are just making beer chili.

Respect the Item Limits

Self Checkout is not for full buggies, crazy couponers, or hoarders filling the fallout shelter for the coming apocalypse.

Know the Code

It needs to have a bar code! If you buy produce at least know the item number. If you have to tap your tuber by touch screen, pick a different line.

Items need to fit

Trying to lift a 60″ plasma TV onto the self-checkout scanner is obviously not going to work. If the item is too large to fit on the scanner, you have failed us. Call the manager to be escorted from the premises.

Don’t move bags to your buggy

Some robot-scales get angry when you remove items from the bagging area. This only shows you have too many items to be in this line. Everything you purchase should fit in the bagging area. It is even better if there is a handheld scanner and you can leave all the barcodes up in the cart.

Credit, Debit, or NFC Only!

No cash, no checks, no gift cards. I’ve tried (all except the check). Debit cards are great: swipe, enter your pin, grab your bags and receipt. Watching someone smooth out a crinkled dollar and feed it into the money bot orifice, makes me want to fling soup cans at your face.