Category: Travel

Unforgettable Beach Tips for a Unique Experience

~ SA Otey
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Who doesn’t love the beach? Well, I for one really do not care for it. The sand, the sunburn, the people. Anytime people get near water it seems their brain reduces functionality.

Beach Activities

Set up fishing poles in front of other families so that children get caught in the lines and potentially get hooked. Bring games where you throw objects that land onto others beach areas causing sand to fly onto them.

Bring Your Pets

Cats love the sand, it’s just one giant litter box. Buried treasure is always fun for kids when they go digging in the sand. Keep a dog tied up to a food-filled wagon so he can eat his fill. Let him loose to swim and allow him to take a huge dump where other children are playing in the water.

Bring some Food

Seagulls love food as much as you do. Once they see that wonderful white bread they will terrorize anyone around. Feed them so that it becomes a problem for other families.

Booze it Up!

Even though the beach is alcohol-free, bring your booze inside of a Sonic styrofoam cup or Gatorade bottle. You can still get drunk, obnoxious, and curse at the top of your lungs when your cornhole bag doesn’t hit the target. Don’t forget to blast profane music while your inhibitions are reduced causing you to grind each other on the beach.

With these tips, I’m sure everyone will have a good time at the beach.

Airplane Seat Reclining Etiquette: What You Need to Know

~ SA Otey
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There are physical limitations to how far the seat will go back, but this person tries to recline at least fifty times so it’s in your lap.  They recline the seat as soon as they get inside of the airplane. The flight attendant will tell them to bring it back to its full upright position, but as soon as they are out of sight it’s back to recline time.

If they don’t recline immediately when they arrive they wait until you get out your laptop so that it shoves the screen into your abdomen. They may also decide to recline when you have a beverage so that it spills into your crotch.

Once the plane begins to descend to your destination the flight person will tell them to become upright once again. Once they are out of sight, they will recline and relax until the rubber hits the runway.

Best Travel Snacks for Long Drives

~ SA Otey
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A tanker full of coffee? Grab a nozzle!

In this part of the country, I look out for Pilot or Flying J. I prefer those stores because they have relatively clean restrooms and various beverages and food selections. Flying J Pilot stores have coffee that will flap your eyelids to your forehead like the old vinyl window shades at your grandmother’s house. I mix Pilot Dark roast with their Intense blend and throw in a Stok espresso shot it’s enough to keep you awake far beyond your destination.

Back in the college days before I drank coffee, it was Pepsi Big Slams and No-Doze for the long road trips. As long as I can remember I would choose a Pepsi product, Slim Jims, and white cheddar popcorn. Maybe some Doritos now and again. One of the biggest problems with eating chips in the car is never enough roof clearance to tilt the bag and drink the crumbs. Well, maybe if you buy small bags.

How much would you pay for a soda?

~ SA Otey
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ATL airport in 2011, worse than Disney’s prices

Or how much would you pay for water? Airports have you right where they want you. You can beat the game by packing your water bottle and a few protein bars when hunger and thirst arrive before your already delayed flight.

That is, of course, unless you enjoy spending $100 on Doritos and a Coke Zero. I suggest you bring your empty Camelbak through TSA and then fill it with a sink, fountain, or filtered water. Even when I’m on a client’s per diem, I will not submit to this price gouging.  Remember, it’s not long until you get on board your plane and get an ice-filled cup with a quarter can of soda.

Best shower heads for your home

~ SA Otey

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I used to love the shower heads at Holiday Inn Express, but since their beds are so uncomfortable I had to switch to Hilton hotels. I believe that Hilton uses Waterpik or Speakman, both are nice, but can’t compete with Kohler. I just wish I could find an excellent metal Kohler showerhead to purchase for home use. I bought a Kohler model once, but it had a plastic mount and the mount broke after a year. The replacement part was almost as much as a showerhead. So I just buy new shower heads every few years now. 

I know you can clean them with a zip lock bag and whatever miracle liquid cleaner is on the market, but there is still crud behind the nozzles deeper than the cleaner fluids can reach. Side note, don’t you find it disturbing when there is other hair on a hotel shower wall? You haven’t showered yet, so it’s not yours, and it will never wash down the drain no matter how much water you throw at it.

Bring sleek, space-saving style to your shower with Prone, an innovative 3-in-1 1.75 gpm combo shower kit. The handshower features three unique spray experiences to lavish you plus PowerSweep, a concentrated spray of water that can be used to clean soap scum from your shower walls and grout, remove caked-on mud and grime from clothing and shoes, or rinse shampoo from your furry friends. A magnetic docking system locks the handshower securely in place when not in use. The single-function showerhead can tilt to act as a rainhead so your shower will never be boring again.

The Etiquette of Airport Moving Walkways

~ SA Otey


When you’re at an airport and you see one of those moving walkways do you stand to right or walk to the left? Maybe you stand to the left or and put your bags to the right? If it doesn’t surprise you, I’m a walker. Not in the zombie sense, but as someone who likes to use technology as it’s intended. The best part is it makes you feel like Captain America charging into battle against a group of Outriders, uh, other travelers. However, I do occasionally notice a person who actually walks faster than me as I’m walking on the human conveyor belt.

Of course, there are those people who can’t seem to read these floor markings. They treat it like an amusement ride or as a chance to get a break from traveling faster than an Hoveround. I love the awkward step when you leave the treadmill. The robot voice will even warn you that the floor will stop moving. Sometimes I like to stand there at the end just to see if people will walk around me or pile up like lemmings.

Making the most of your Hotel’s Free Breakfast

~ SA Otey

Do you let your kids eat breakfast by themselves? I imagine the family allowing this behavior that follows, simply saying, “Your Father and I are going to sleep in, go down to the breakfast area and eat whatever you want.”

As I was cooking a waffle there was a young child spooning chocolate chips into a coffee cup. He keeps looking over at me after each scoop until it was empty of its contents. I guess he wanted someone to tell him to stop. Then his younger brother came over, opened up the chocolate chip container saw that it was empty, and walked away. Their sister did the same thing.

Each child had a to-go box filled with breakfast items. One was filled with bananas, another with oranges, and another one with hot chocolate packets. All claimed it was food for the road. No one said anything, and it was quite a bit of food. I wonder what the parents thought when the kids brought all this food back to the room.

How to get more sleep while you travel

~ SA Otey

Yuv probably seen this person before. He’s asleep at the gate when you are waiting on the plane. They somehow wake up long enough to get inside the plane (before you), and when you walk past they are already sound asleep. They sleep through snack time but sometimes wake up for burnt coffee and moldy nuts. This person is not sleeping they just don’t want to talk to you or let you get up to use the toilet. Or maybe they are dead.

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Creative littering at the Transportation and Ticket Center.

~ SA Otey
TTC Monorail onramp at Walt Disney World

Disney cast members do a fantastic job at keeping garbage out of your way. However, they are usually concerned with trash on the ground. I guess if you are going to litter, then why not be skilled at it. Not sure how this skittles wrapper ended up here, but I’m impressed. Won’t be long before guests will fling their refuse into the trees on the main street town square.

Why Disney Should Switch to Foam Soap for Clean Hands

~ SA Otey

Nothing is more frustrating than pushing a button for soap snot. I’m surprised that Disney World hasn’t adopted the foam dispensers. I love the foam because it cleans well and doesn’t make you rinse your hands for 20 minutes. I’m sure the initial cost would be huge, but the long-term savings would be tremendous. That way Disney can lower their ticket prices and offer free parking.

Made a hidden Mickey with camera angles (noticed after the fact)