Tag: airplanes

Just put your headphones on, Man

~ SA Otey

There is another type of airline passenger that is even more annoying than the “first classer”. It’s the passenger next to you who doesn’t listen. If you pick an aisle seat you end up being their personal ambassador to the flight attendant. Here are a few of their trademark characteristics.

  • Opens the tray table upon arriving at their seat.
  • Also reclines their seat
  • Keeps their phone active after several attempts by the flight attendant to switch to airplane mode.
  • Uses noise-canceling headphones so they don’t hear the snack options and they have to be repeated
  • Goes to the bathroom once the plane starts to land or begins takeoff.
  • Reclines seat upon takeoff after flight attendant has sat down
  • Opens tray table and returns to text messaging.
  • Unbuckles seatbelt as soon as the plane’s wheels touch the runway.

It’s like they’ve never flown before. These are the type of people who will be asking how to inflate their life vest once they are swimming away from the fuselage.

Putting faith in your pilot

~ SA Otey
air air travel airbus aircraft

I noticed an airline pilot sitting down to dinner at the airport. He was opening up a bag of McDonald’s food. My initial reaction was concern because it made me think that this person didn’t make good decisions.

However, a salad emerged from the brown sack. I was relieved for a moment because now I thought, maybe he’s not that bad of a decision-maker after all. But then again, who goes to McDonald’s for a salad when there are so many other healthy options?

Then it occurred to me that the pilot is budget savvy. Then I thought, why am I staring at this pilot while he eats his dinner?

How to get more sleep while you travel

~ SA Otey

Yuv probably seen this person before. He’s asleep at the gate when you are waiting on the plane. They somehow wake up long enough to get inside the plane (before you), and when you walk past they are already sound asleep. They sleep through snack time but sometimes wake up for burnt coffee and moldy nuts. This person is not sleeping they just don’t want to talk to you or let you get up to use the toilet. Or maybe they are dead.

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Guide to flying first class

~ SA Otey
alcohol bar black background close up
Photo by Prem Pal Singh on Pexels.com

I’ve actually only flown first class once in my life. I was booking a client trip and saw that one of the legs was cheaper if I booked first class. I saved the client $200 on airfare by doing so. However, when my expense report was turned in to the client it was rejected because I didn’t book an economy flight. Common sense < Business sense.

However here are a few tips if you do get to fly first class.

  • Stand in the ultra-premium sky priority lane upon arrival at the gate, this lets others know you are first class
  • As you pass the attendant get that Jack and Coke drink order started.
  • Here you have a few options
    1. Pretend to be in such a relaxed mode that you can barely keep your eyes open.
    2. Crack open the laptop and bang away at those keys as to show how important and busy you are.
    3. Chug that first Jack and Coke and order another
    4. Be the guy that stares at everyone who walks by. Don’t forget to smirk
  • Don’t forget to cross your legs so that you can show the economy passengers how much seat and legroom you have
  • Sit in the economy section by mistake. When someone comes along and says you have their seat, show them your ticket and say “Oh yeah, I’m in first class” Don’t forget your 3rd glass of Jack and Coke that you brought with you.