Exorcism goes wrong and bacon equities take a dive!

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Well, technically it went right as it was intended, but I’m sure the owner wasn’t too happy about losing all those pigs. But you know, for the kingdom, and Jesus owns everything.

Someone I know posted a few random clickbait titles as to spur interest in reading the bible. I think it’s a great idea. It’s very Babylon Bee -esque. Anyway, here’s the bible verse to read for that.

They came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gerasenes. And when Jesus had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit. He lived among the tombs. And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones. And when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and fell down before him. And crying out with a loud voice, he said, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me.” For he was saying to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” And Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” He replied, “My name is Legion, for we are many.” And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country. Now a great herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and they begged him, saying, “Send us to the pigs; let us enter them.” So he gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out and entered the pigs; and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned in the sea.
The herdsmen fled and told it in the city and in the country. And people came to see what it was that had happened. And they came to Jesus and saw the demon-possessed man, the one who had had the legion, sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. And those who had seen it described to them what had happened to the demon-possessed man and to the pigs. And they began to beg Jesus to depart from their region. As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled. — Mk 5:1-20

Are eggs really good for you?

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Jesus Approved Egg

Yes! Eggs are good for you, yolk and all. But of course, people are taking it too far. Everything has an egg on it. Watch any episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives and you will see any number of dishes with an egg in there somewhere. Do you know what goes well with eggs? Bacon, that’s it!

How do I cook my eggs? Glad you asked.

Fried

Fry a few strips of bacon over medium heat, remove bacon, leave grease, turn off the heat let cool down for a minute or so. Add 2 eggs, and use either kosher salt, black, and cayenne pepper (Or Tony Chachere Seasoning). Once the egg white is not clear, gently flip it over, turn off the heat, and cook for another 2 minutes, this won’t overcook and still give you a nice warm runny yolk. I usually forget about them and the yolk gets solid.

Scrambled

Whisk 3 eggs with a dash of heavy cream in a large cup, and add to a low-heat skillet with melted clarified butter or bacon fat. Move around the pan and make your chunks big or small, just don’t let them stick. Or don’t move it at all and have an omelet.

Boiled

Put a dozen eggs in a pot in one layer, add 1/4 tsp baking soda, and cover with 2 inches of tap water. Bring to a rolling boil and cook for about 2 minutes. Cover and remove from heat and let stand for 12 minutes. Drain off hot water and fill the pot with cold tap water. Let stand for 5 minutes. Crack each end of the egg, they should be super easy to peel. Cut in half and add a dash of the previously mentioned seasonings.

Poached, no thanks, if I wanted to eat snot I would expose myself to one of the 100 things I’m allergic to and let the mucus fountain flow.