Tag: cereal

Top Cereal Choices for Chocolate Milk Lovers

~ SA Otey

I’ve never been a huge fan of cereal because of all the sugar and milk. Here are a few of my favorites and why.

  • Kashi Go Lean Crunch – It’s like eating a wicker basket, and it cleans you out. Plus it gives you non-stop gas to torment your family with. I try to eat a bowl before I go play golf so I can get an extra boost on the golf swing and distract the others from their game.
  • Frosted Mini-Wheats – Fill a bowl with ears of wheat and milk and let it sit for a few minutes. It turns the brillo pads into a nice soggy frosted pillow of tastiness.
  • Cracklin’ Oat Bran – not sure why I like this one, it was in the cabinet one morning when I was a kid.
  • Life – It’s simple, just like real life is. Glad there is no “Death” cereal, or maybe that’s what Marshmallow Madness is.
  • Fruity Pebbles – If I had to choose one super sugary cereal, it would be this one. It’s like eating a bowl of candy and the milk wash after looks like the runoff after a preschool is washing out the paint trays after they’ve finger painted mothers day cards, but more delicious.
Great with Chocolate Milk!

I will never eat this cereal again.

~ SA Otey
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There is no doubt my favorite cereal is Kashi Go-Lean Crunch. The cereal serves dual purposes. One it tastes delicious and two it produces so much gas that it keeps everyone away from me. I can time it like clockwork. I eat a huge bowl first thing in the morning and by high noon, there is a showdown at the colon corral. I’m expelling flatus every two minutes, and it continues into the night.

Once I was going to play golf and wanted to load up on ammo for the course. My wife knew what I was up to and hid the box from me. I had to pick up some Bojangles Cajun Filet biscuits instead.

However, the sad news is I physically can’t consume it any longer. The problem is the gas production. I eat a bowl of Kashi Go Lean Crunch for breakfast and by the afternoon my body is producing so much natural gas I could heat a small village. It’s funny at first with all the farting, but after a few hours, you get exhausted. So long Kashi Go Lean Crunch our relationship has run out of gas.

 

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