Tag: walmart

Walmart’s Shopping Cart Strategy Exposed

~ SA Otey
IMG_0765.jpg
Bandaid with a hair

I think Walmart is the only company that doesn’t maintain its shopping carts. They’ve devised a trick. This trick encourages you to endure the punishment of wobbly wheels for the shopping duration. The trick is they cover the solarium with a bunch of uneven stone tiles. You won’t notice the wheels are busted until you’ve been distracted by a Walmart elder and the lure of cheap candy, bananas, and detergent before hitting the smooth surfaces. They figure that you’ve traveled all this distance from the corral and you won’t walk back to get another. You might risk offending the elder and get scolded: “Well, back in my day, we had to strap saddle bags on a mule when we wanted Doritos from the five and dime, I think that buggy will do you just fine sonny boy”.

Sometimes you get lucky and there aren’t many buggies in the corral at Walmart.  This gives you a bit of a smooth surface to do a little test run to see if all the wheels are straight. I’m sure Wal Mart will catch on to this, and extend the rough tiles into the buggy corral. It’s really only a matter of time before Walmart becomes just a rough uneven terrain of shopping on dirt floors. Then you won’t notice there are no wheels on the buggy at all.

“Customer” Customer Service is superior

~ SA Otey

I now understand why people wear pajamas and house shoes while shopping at Walmart. However, If you really want to draw attention to yourself, wear a red shirt with tan pants to Target. If you are caught in this situation, you have two options. You can tell them you don’t work there. Alternatively, you can try to help them out anyway, such as…

  • Direct them to isles that don’t exist
  • Recommend certain “personal” items, and explain your use as we speak.
  • Lead them around the store, searching for items that don’t belong, like looking for grape nuts in the camping section
  • Recommend the wrong TV shows for kids, like getting Dexter confused with Dexter’s Laboratory
  • Rummage through their cart and say things like, “Wow, I thought this was recalled”
  • Offer unwarranted advice like: “Seems like you should be looking for the prescription strength deodorant or some age-defying make-up”
  • Offer to check in the back stockroom, and never return.
  • Say that you’re a manager and don’t “stoop” to the customer level.

The same could be said for a blue shirt and tan pants to Best Buy. If you are a tech guy, you will probably help them more than the people who actually work there. Knowing anything about electronics gives you an advantage.