If you still worship Saturn, then I hope you have a happy winter solstice. Many people are complaining that Christmas hijacked Saturnalia. Well, they are partially right. Christmas used to be celebrated in the springtime, but many were feeling left out by not participating in the drunken debauchery fest known as Saturnalia.
The church decided to move Christmas to December as a rival celebration. This would give Christians something else to do rather than eating and drinking until they vomited and other such merrymaking. Just to be clear, Christmas is not pagan in origin, but some winter celebrations are full-blown pagan. If anything, paganism has crept back into Christmas.
I asked someone (mistake) there if there was an LED equivalent so that the light would outlive the microwave. The clerk gave me one even though I asked him about it saying “appliance”. Cut to the chase, it didn’t work, but that’s not the fun part of the adventure.
Lowe’s tried to lure me into their store with a free $10 gift card, and it worked. My microwave light burst during seven power surges in the neighborhood and those suckers cost $8 so I set forth on my adventure.
When I went to check out, the cashier had no idea how to use the gift card. It wouldn’t scan and when she tried manual entry the field didn’t allow for all the numbers on the card. Programming tip: nvarchar(max) on all the fields forever! Not really. So I paid full price and went to the customer service desk.
They refunded the bulb after about 5 minutes of fighting with the gift card, but then the computer froze, locking them out of the system. So we had to move to another cash register. Once it went through the light bulb had now been returned twice for the same transaction. That comes into play when I return to Lowe’s later, when I try to return the bulb that doesn’t work. So I get store credit. So I spent about 20 minutes and 3 gallons of gas to purchase a light bulb. The $10 gift card was pointless. Next time, I’ll just use Amazon.
While we understand that everyone values their time, it’s important to emphasize that every driver should adhere to traffic rules and not assume special privileges. In our town, there are several shopping centers with suboptimal designs leading to traffic bottlenecks. Fortunately, there are restaurant parking lots and gas stations strategically located near these busy intersections. This allows drivers to make a quick stop for a snack at Hardee’s or grab a refreshing Mountain Dew Purple Thunder from Circle K. However, it’s crucial to plan ahead and avoid last-minute decisions to navigate through busy intersections safely.
I’ve been eating steak since before I had teeth. Anyway, that’s what my hope is. My thought is my parents would put a freshly grilled steak in the blender and feed it to me in baby food form. However, in my adult form, I’ve adopted the reverse sear method of cooking a steak. It’s very easy and gives you consistently delicious results. Because of this method, my spouse will remind me to never order a steak if we go out to eat.
Purchase a 1″ thick steak. Ribeye or New York Strip are my favorite cuts. I tried using ButcherBox for a few years. It’s expensive, but the quality and convenience are worth it.
Get yourself a quarter sheet rack pan (allows airflow)
Cover the entire steak in coarse kosher salt. This is a wet aging process to pull some of the moisture out of the steak.
Place steak on pan and rack and refrigerate for 8 to 10 hours. (flip it about 4 hours in)
Preheat the pellet grill to 200 degrees. I’ve been using the super smoke setting on my Traeger Grill for about 15-20 mins on a cold steak. The smoke flavor is unreal
Smoker until the internal temperature reaches 115-120 degrees. This is at the blue rare stage. Pull it sooner if you want a rare steak.
Rest for 10 minutes, you too, you’ve been working hard
Lather on a layer of avocado oil and add more seasoning if you like, I suggest just Coarse Salt and Pepper. You need something to help build a crust.
Heat a cast-iron skillet as hot as you can, but don’t touch it with your index finger. To know it’s ready, drop a few beads of water in the skillet; if they disappear immediately, then it’s ready.
Sear on both sides for about 45 seconds to 1 minute. While adding a few spoonfuls of ghee to give it some extra juice.
Rest for 10 more minutes.
Eat your steak; it should be nice and medium-rare, with a nice crust on the outside.
Remember when you needed a FastPass for the FastPass kiosk so you can get more FastPasses. That is probably the number one phrase I hear at Disney, “I’m so glad we got a FastPass”. Really? Who doesn’t want a FastPass? Why would anyone say, “I’m so glad I get to wait in this 90-minute line for a 1-minute and 30-second ride. Of course, you can use the app or book ahead of time. However, it’s not beneficial unless you stay at WDW resort and can get the FP+ for the Mine Train at 8 pm because you still don’t have the inside track on bookings. I recently visited the Magic Kingdom and I felt like I needed to get a FastPass for the trash cans, water fountains, toilet, and even to exit the park.
Genie Plus was far from perfect, but you really need maximum Disney enjoyment to become super rich and take one of those guided tours where they shuffle you in and out of rides and give you all access to the underbelly of Disney. It might be easier to fake a horrible disease, but I’m sure Disney will vet you thoroughly via DNA scans, and you can get your super cool Fastpass.
Rules don’t apply Guy – The selfie stick is banned? No problem, I’ll shove it in some crevasse to sneak it in. The guy can even sneak in a cooler with lunch for his whole crew. Somehow, he’s flying a drone over Main Street USA.
Line skipper Steve – This person will come to the front of the line when it’s time to ride. How do they accomplish this? They let someone else wait for them. Whether it be a grandmother in a scooter or a wife with a stroller he manages to let others do the waiting. Always uses the phrase. “So sorry, just catching up with my family”.
Stroller Steamroller Sally -She has the biggest stroller you’ve ever seen, and it’s her weapon to make a path through the park. Your ankles will be destroyed. It will be your fault if you are hit.
Bassackwards Bruce -He’s related to Debbie and Patty, but he will reverse course in an instant. He will at least wait until you are right behind him and carrying a beverage so that it dumps over both of you.
Single Rider Abusing Brian -Brian will use the single rider line with his family of 12 leaving his younger children to fend for themselves either in line with strangers at the gift shop.
Never Hungry Hugh -He’s always munching on something. Turkey legs, popcorn, ice cream, and he’s never hungry. Not necessarily a fat person, but a person with deep pockets and a hollow leg.
Flashy Frida – Frida likes to use her flash on a dark ride, during fireworks, or to locate someone with the strobe effect on her phone. Frida doesn’t care if the ride is supposed to be dark and spooky. She’s the only person riding.
Body Oder Bobby -BO Bo likes to sweat it up all day at the park while smelling like a tub of French onion dip. The tactic works as it frees up space around him and sometimes will make people leave the line because they will start craving wavy potato chips.
Dead Stop Debbie – She will be walking in front of you and then come to a complete stop to check for wait times. Keep a safe following distance to allow her to stop and clear a path for any Sally’s nearby.
Path Blocking Patty -She’s at the exit of a ride looking at her one of many hundreds of selfies from the previous ride. She could be waiting for the rest of her party at the Fastpass entrance. She doesn’t want you to experience the ride before her so she pleads for you to wait so her family can all ride together.
Fastpass Freddie – Always has a FastPass no matter what. Somehow he’s got a friend on the inside or is using the FastPass that he booked for his 2-year-old or wife who gets motion sick.
Wait Time Walter – Checking the wait times of other rides at other parks regretting their park pick of the day.
Instagram Izzy – Has to have that perfect pose for social media to make everyone FOMO
Virtual Queue Viola – Always has a place in line no matter if the boarding groups are full. Will stand at the entrance waiting for her time while blocking the other boarding groups that are called.
One Step Ahead Fred – This person is in front of you at the turnstile, then at the rope drop, and then the people mover. As you exit the ride and you walk as fast as you can across the park, he’s already 20 people ahead of you on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. As you are leaving, he’s already on the departing monorail. You see him walking around Hourglass Lake while you are on the skyliner. When you finally get back to your room and open your door, you can hear someone in the shower. It’s FRED!
Balsam Hill projectile vomits Christmas decorations throughout Main Street, characters’ homes, and office locations.
Love interest characters meet each other by chance, a small spark flies
There is some sort of problem to solve
Characters grow closer together and have many awkward almost kiss moments ruined by a child, or some other annoying character.
There is some huge misunderstanding because one character doesn’t have the full context of the situation because they overheard a piece of a phone call and takes it in the worst way possible without any followup questions.
Character leaves town
Character gets the rest of the information
Character shows up at the precise moment when things seem the bleakest.
Are you the type of person who drives around with your high beams on all the time? Of course not, you are a decent human being who cares about the eyesight of others. If by chance your high beams are ignited someone will send you a friendly reminder by giving you the double high flash. Rather than just dealing with the bright light for a few seconds the person wants you to know that you are being rude by lighting up the road even more for your safety. However, if you have a newer vehicle with LED headlights, other drivers will think that you have your high beams on by default. So they will flash you.
This is where it can be fun and or dangerous. When you give them your highs, they will be like, “Oh wow, they have really good headlights”. The other reaction is they will pull in front of you, stop at the next intersection, and get out of the car and approach you. This happened to my wife when she was coming home one night. So she backed up and turned around in a driveway as the person approached her. Not sure what was going to happen, but this stuff never happens when I’m in the car.
Moral of this story? If you have a newer automobile, drive with the high beams on all the time. At least for the first year until the oxidation fogs up your lens. Don’t be a decent human being.
Fun tip: Carry a spotlight in your car to shine back. Let your kids in on the fun by shining the spotlight on a car that is flashing you from behind because you are driving the speed limit.
If a menu includes deviled eggs, they will be automatically ordered. It may seem like food to pass over (not to be confused with Passover food), but there is so much goodness in food so devilish. They are simple to make as well. The best recipe I’ve found is Ron Swanson’s Deviled Eggs. I’m unsure if he made them since he’s a fictional character, but they are good with a few modifications. Swap out the mayo for Miracle Whip, the cayenne with Reaper dust, and top each with a piece of nice, crispy bacon. The Reaper dust is so you don’t have to share.
6 hard-cooked eggs, peeled and sliced in half 1/4 cup Miracle Whip 2 dashes Chipotle Tabasco 2 slices of bacon 2 large scallions, minced 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper Cayenne or Reaper Dust
But are they evil? Christians, particularly those in the American South and Midwest, often call deviled eggs by alternative names like “Dressed Eggs,” “Salad Eggs,” “Mimosa Eggs,” or “Angel Eggs” to avoid the “devil” association, with some devout families, like the Duggars, even coining unique terms like “Yellow Pocket Angel Eggs” for church potlucks. The term “deviled” historically referred to spicy foods (like mustard or pepper), not evil, but many prefer gentler, faith-based names for religious gatherings
Lowe’s tried to lure me into their store with a free $10 gift card, and it worked. My microwave light burst during seven power surges in the neighborhood and those suckers cost $8 so I set forth on my adventure.
Remember when you needed a FastPass for the FastPass kiosk so you can get more FastPasses. That is probably the number one phrase I hear at Disney, “I’m so glad we got a FastPass”. Really? Who doesn’t want a FastPass? Why would anyone say, “I’m so glad I get to wait in this 90-minute line for a 1-minute and 30-second ride. Of course, you can use the app or book ahead of time. However, it’s not beneficial unless you stay at WDW resort and can get the FP+ for the Mine Train at 8 pm because you still don’t have the inside track on bookings. I recently visited the Magic Kingdom and I felt like I needed to get a FastPass for the trash cans, water fountains, toilet, and even to exit the park.
Daily Irritant 
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