Author: SA Otey

Software Engineer

Speakerphones in public

~ SA Otey

There’s a hot new trend in smartphone usage. People have ditched traditional earbuds and Bluetooth earpieces to let everyone in on the conversation.

There are several ways to talk on your speakerphone. You can hold it directly in front of your face similar to looking into a mirror. You can hold it like you are eating a pop tart and shout into the bottom of the phone. The most creative I’ve seen is tucking it into your shirt at the shoulder so the mic is near your mouth.

Remember to speak at a higher volume into the speakerphone, like it’s on the other side of the room.

https://amzn.to/4d62bfm

Small Business Saturday, Shop Local!

~ SA Otey

I think it’s a neat idea to shop local, but not for long. I think that all customer service reps, or anyone that is responsible for answering phones, need to take acting classes. If you are having a bad day and use a sarcastic tone or interrupt the person calling then your superiors need to know about how you are ruining their business. Local shops won’t last much longer, you can’t compete with robots that take your orders and ship things to your door in 2 days.

New Disney Lightning Lane Ideas

~ SA Otey

There is no need for a Lighting Lane if you want to watch some concrete set at the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World. I’ll come back in seven years to check on it. Not everything has a Lighting Lane at Walt Disney World, but some spots should. Here are a few ideas.

Bathrooms – Sometimes the sphincter muscles will not hold diarrhea at the doorstep. Some people would gladly exchange their Seven Dwarfs Mine Train pass for a luxury stall with Cottonelle wipes. Yes, your magic band would unlock the stall door.

Monorail – After a long day, nothing is more discouraging than waiting in a long cattle corral to board a bacteria tube filled with an unknown virus variant. Of course, if you have a motorized cart, you get an automatic Lighting Lane, but you don’t want to fake a disability.

Trams

After priority deboarding of the ferryboat or monorail, you should be able to choose your lightning lane for an express tram to the parking lot.

Quick Service Restaurants

Still not quick enough, you need your own lane to avoid people who continue to stand in line and have decision indecision over burgers or chicken strips.

First Aid

Sometimes you need contact lens solution, sometimes you need a bandaid, sometimes you need a tourniquet.

Avoid these common mistakes when buying a new TV on Black Friday

~ SA Otey

It can be addictive and expensive. As Black Friday deals are tempting, you have to be careful and cautious of a few things.

First, you buy a new 4K TV, then you have no 4K content. So what do you do? You go buy a 4K Movie Player with a few movies. Then you find out that your audio receiver isn’t 4K compatible with your new player and TV.  So you have to buy a new receiver. Oops, your old HDMI cables don’t support Dolby Atmos or DTS-X. Oh yeah, when you have to pull out and re-fish all the wires into the walls because you are a neat freak that doesn’t like to see cables hanging from your mounted TV. Oh yeah, the TV is heavy, get a buddy to help lift it so you don’t herniate a disk.

Stop calling it Turkey Day

~ SA Otey

Since everyone is offended these days and it’s disrespectful to the turkey. Turkey’s have it rough, they are big, fat, and serve no other purpose than to feed large families a couple times a year.

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Deep Fried Turkey

I’m not a fan of turkey. I’ve been smoking a brisket for the past few years on my Traeger. I’m not going to serve it until everyone has a heaping plate of turkey meat. Once we all sit down and I have brisket all up on my plate people will ask, Where was that? I will be like, “Ah, thought you all wanted turkey and condescended at the idea of barbecue.”

Thanksbrisket Day Receipe

  • Get a brisket flat and wood pellets from Costco
  • Warm up the Traeger to 225 and set it on super smoke
  • While the Trager is preheating, open the brisket and slather with yellow mustard and season heavily on all sides with a mix of kosher salt and coarse ground black pepper, and let set for 30 mins
  • Insert a probe into the thick part of the brisket and set for 165.
  • Place brisket (fat side up) in the center smoker with thicker end near the heat source.
  • Run super smoke for an hour then go to normal
  • Once the probe hits 165, wrap the brisket in butcher paper (think big burrito)
  • Return to the smoker and place it fat side up and set the probe temp to 205
  • Set the smoker temp to 275
  • Once the probe hits 205, put the brisket in a cooler to take a nap. It will stay super warm until you are ready to serve.

I start the prep around 10:30pm, get to bed around 12am, and then wrap the brisket at 5am to finish it off.

Traeger Ironwood Pellet Smoker Grill, Electric Wood Pellet Grill with WiFIRE App Control, 165F – 500F Degree Temperature Control Super Smoke Mode, 6-in-1

If Disney Ran the United States

~ SA Otey
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Mr. Walt and his running mate for 2024

Can you imagineer the possibilities if Disney ran the country? There would be pros and cons of course. I guess it really depends on if you are a fan of Disney.

Healthcare

Healthcare costs would skyrocket, but you could at least reserve a Lightning Lane for the emergency room. How awesome would it be to immediately hop on a paper-covered table to be examined while others have been waiting for 90 minutes for a 3-minute diagnosis? All your medicine would cost four times as much. However,  you can pay a premium if you want to guzzle your Robitussin from a souvenir cup.

Immigration

It would be too expensive to enter the United States, and you would have so many people complaining, “I wish I could afford to go to the United States”. Maybe there would be blackout dates when you couldn’t stay in the country. The truth is, every Main Street USA would be packed to capacity, but at least it would smell good with Disney bakery exhaust.

Taxes

There would be no taxes whatsoever because there would be limited choices of high-quality items that are out of everyone’s price range.

Disney National Parks Service

Since the entire country would essentially be Disney Country, Walt Disney World, and Disneyland would essentially just be like any other national park. All the other National Parks would get an upgrade as well. Can you imagine a giant slide into the Grand Canyon or the Haunted Mammoth Cave?

Transportation and Infrastructure

If you’ve ridden Spaceship Earth at Epcot, you would see this future vision of automation fast-tracked. People movers would drop you off at work after you’ve been dressed by a Carousel of Progress robot. We would have automobile safety on par with Tomorrowland Speedway because all our cars would be on rails so we couldn’t knock each other into the ditch. However, all of America’s roadways would be exactly like Orlando traffic to encourage you to take those People movers.

Top Hotels don’t want you to know these details

~ SA Otey

If we are being a bit more honest you would write what you really feel about hotels.

Arrive

As you enter the parking lot you will be greeted by a kids football game. Kids popping into existence chasing a bouncing football in random directions. People will park their luggage carts in the driving path under the check-in canopy, creating their own personal unloading or loading zone.

Entry

Can’t find a luggage cart because they are all left on random floors near the elevator and not returned to the lobby.

Room

The Digital Key doesn’t work, and the physical key doesn’t work. There are no real keys anymore, so you must pace back and forth to the front desk trying out different keys. The digital key starts working once you get back to your room.

Breakfast

There are a few people that will dominate the breakfast bar. They lay out several plates, using both waffle makers, and preparing a meal for their kids who are engrossed in their tablets with the giant rubber case. A person is creating a masterpiece concoction at the coffee bar mixing their drink while others are waiting to grab some hot water for their instant grits.

Bed

If you know what short sheeting is then just about every hotel does this. You have to almost drive a wedge under the bottom sheet to get your feet in there. If you don’t ask you will get two pillows per bed.

Shower

If it’s a curtain then it will find a way to stick to your body. If it’s a glass door it will not be sealed so the water goes all over the floor.

Microwave

It’s a gamble if it works or not. The rotation ring will be missing so the glass plate will bang around in there jostling your Orville Redenbacher Movie Theater popcorn

Alarm clock

There is usually an alarm clock in the room that doesn’t have a dimmer and will illuminate the room once you try to fall asleep. A previous tenant probably set the alarm for a 3am wake-up to get to the airport.

Nonadjustable air conditioner

The A/C unit will have all the buttons disabled so you have to control it from the wall. The constant fan is usually the first feature that doesn’t work. No white noise for you.

Checkout

Don’t bother hanging the do not disturb on the doorknob and try to sleep in. Because housekeeping is ready to clean up your filth with a wrap on the door at 8am.

Ask before you wish a happy holiday…

~ SA Otey

For some reason, I started asking people first if they celebrate a holiday before I give them warm wishes. Or I’ll say something like. “Well, if you celebrate Thanksgiving, then have a happy one. Otherwise, enjoy doing whatever you do with the days we mark as a national holiday”. I don’t assume everyone celebrates Thanksgiving or Christmas, to do so would be oppressive right?

It also gives me an out because if I wish someone a specified happy holiday then they have the chance to say. “Oh, I don’t celebrate that particular holiday because it’s racist or hateful towards a certain demographic”. I don’t want to hear any of that garbage. I guess I will just keep my warm wishes to myself until someone tries to offend me with their merrymaking.

Black Friday comes once a year

~ SA Otey

Don’t let any of these retailers fool you. Black Friday happens once per year. There is no…

  • Black Friday in July
  • Early Access to Black Friday
  • Black Friday Starts now (First week of November)
  • Black Friday for only members of our website

The term “Black Friday” has two key origins: first, as a term used by Philadelphia police in the 1950s to describe the chaos of post-Thanksgiving shoppers, and second, the retail explanation that the day marks when stores go from being “in the red” (at a loss) to “in the black” (profitable). The Philadelphia origin was initially negative, but retailers rebranded the day in the 1980s with the more positive financial meaning as the term spread nationally. Now it means nothing.