Category: Holidays

New Years Eve Traditions

~ SA Otey

In comparison to Halloween, New Year’s is my next least favorite holiday. New Year’s Eve television is more painful to watch than the Superbowl halftime show. Every year the debauchery and hedonism is cranked up another notch as the desensitizing of our culture continues down the slippery slope of depravity.

We make a bunch of snacks as the last hurrah for the diet that starts the next day. Or maybe we move the new diet to January 2nd, you know, leftovers. We stay up late to watch people grind each other on television while we listen to the horrific noises that pass for music that’s shoved in our ear canals for the hour leading up to the ball drop. Ball drops, people kiss, sing the same song every year, then go to bed.

New Year is just another day, there is nothing magical about January 1st. Don’t make promises to yourself that you can’t keep. If you want to change, change now or six months from now. Just make up your mind that you want to do it.

Running on Christmas Cheer Fumes

~ SA Otey

Every year we get super excited for Christmas and when December 25th rolls around we are ready for it to be over. One year I started way too early. We visited Disney Theme Parks the week before Thanksgiving and all the decorations were up and the holiday music was blasting. We had our Christmas tree up before Thanksgiving. I jumped the gun that year on the Holiday Cheer and ran on fumes.

Next year we will wait until Black Friday to start decorating. That way we don’t get burned out like a Yankee candle on the mantle all night. We are already removing Christmas items from the house and putting them back in storage. We usually wait until January 2nd. I think it makes Christmas gloomy.

Happy Boxing Day

~ SA Otey
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I never understood what Boxing Day was until I made some friends from the Great White North. I thought it was a day when we remembered the greats like Cassius Clay or Mike Tyson punching people in the face. It’s either that or a day when we box up all of our gifts that we didn’t like and take them back to the stores in which they came.

Probably the most ungrateful I’ve ever been for a gift was when I was a small child. I received a bean bag chair from my grandmother for Christmas. I loudly exclaimed in tears, “You don’t get furniture for Christmas”.  My childish mind thought that only toys were permitted. I remember her running up to the closest gas station that was open and buying me a green “suckerman”. At least I had a toy, my temper tantrum worked!

Christmas Day Checklist

~ SA Otey
  • Wake up way too early because the kids didn’t sleep at all
  • Open presents, either from Santa or hard-working parents who paid for them
  • Eat breakfast – We make a sausage egg and cheese casserole.
  • Jump in the car, take off (drive about 2 hours with no traffic)
  • Arrive at the first stop
  • Open presents
  • Eat lunch
  • Jump in the car, take off (30-minute drive)
  • Arrive at the second stop
  • Open presents
  • Eat dinner
  • Collapse in exhaustion
  • Wonder how the kids are still going strong.
shallow focus photography of religious figurines
Photo by Jessica Lewis on Pexels.com

This is the shortlist, it used to be much longer and covered a much longer distance. Between the food, fun, family, and yes sometimes fighting, don’t forget about Jesus during this time. It’s the whole point of it all.

Christmas Eve Traditions

~ SA Otey

My Christmas Eve traditions have evolved over the years. Long story, bear with me.

Grandparent Traditions

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We used to wait for my Dad to get off work and ride to my paternal Grandparents’ house. We would usually be one of the last to arrive since my father worked for Federal Express helping Santa’s sleigh finish its route. Upon entering their home, you would be greeted by the warmth of the floor furnace. It was an open grate that continuously pumped heat. I’m not sure how that was safe and that we didn’t get roasted as children. I swear you could smell your shoes melting.

There was plenty of food and it all tasted fantastic. However, you couldn’t smell any of it. All the adults smoked cigarettes which built a nicotine barrier that food aromas couldn’t break through. Christmas Eve always felt like the longest evening. We would stare at the mountain of presents under a 3-foot-tall tall already decorated tree that was erected before the evening and taken down the next day. The grown-ups wanted to sing by the piano but we wanted to see what was under all those wrappings. Once we started opening presents (after a few 10-minute delays) it didn’t take long before the night was over and we were on our way home.

Starting our Own

We live just far enough where we have to do our own thing for Christmas Eve. Otherwise, we would have to spend Christmas morning at someone else’s place. I wanted my kids to wake up in their own house on Christmas morning. We keep it pretty simple. We watch Christmas movies and bake treats. We have a nice steak dinner and then attend a Christmas Eve service at our Church. We then drive around and look at Christmas lights. We come home, open one gift, and then hit the sack. We then watch a few more Christmas movies while we wrap the final gifts.

It’s important to start and keep traditions, but also remain flexible. Someone in your family is always going to be unhappy, don’t let it be you.

Happy Winter Solstice

~ SA Otey
Facebook Winter Wishes

If you still worship Saturn, then I hope you have a happy winter solstice. Many people are complaining that Christmas hijacked Saturnalia. Well, they are partially right. Christmas used to be celebrated in the springtime, but many were feeling left out by not participating in the drunken debauchery fest known as Saturnalia.

The church decided to move Christmas to December as a rival celebration. This would give Christians something else to do rather than eating and drinking until they vomited and other such merrymaking.  Just to be clear, Christmas is not pagan in origin, but some winter celebrations are full-blown pagan. If anything, paganism has crept back into Christmas.

What to get the person who has everything?

~ SA Otey

Gift-giving is hard unless it’s your spiritual gift. You know someone well, and you know what they want or need.

Random Gifts

Grab something from the front aisles of Walmart and be done.

Thoughtful Gifts

Get to know the person and see a need they have for a gift. This is probably the best gift given. Don’t forget these tips

Last-minute gifts

Stop by your local Walgreens and CVS on the way to the Christmas party and find an “As Seen on TV” item.

Most Over used Christmas Songs

~ SA Otey

Which song do you get tired of first? Is it Jingle Bells, Frosty the Snowman, Winter Wonderland, Rudy the Red Nosed Reindeer? Technically, these aren’t really Christmas songs. They are more winter songs that don’t have any tethering to Christ. Watch any Hallmark Christmas movie and you will probably hear 700 different versions of Jingle Bells and by the end of the week after Thanksgiving, you are ready to quit Christmas music.

I used to prefer the Christmas “hymns”, songs about the savior which is the whole reason for the season. However, there are very few new songs and they contain terrible theology or Americanized to the point they shouldn’t even be canonized into Christmas. I stick to Christmas instrumentals now so I don’t have to hear some new artist destroy a classic by over-singing through their nostrils.

How to insult someone during the holidays

~ SA Otey

This is hands down the most condescending ad of the year and the worst gift idea simultaneously. Maybe they want to be isolated from technology. Your older family members prefer you visit them in person rather than seeing your digitized face on a screen. You can’t hug a tablet and get your oxytocin.

They don’t want to see you on a vacation they weren’t invited to. They don’t want to watch you bake cookies, they want to be in the same room with you. I know some families live far apart, but what kind of person lives far away from a family member who can’t operate an iPad.  Why does it have a support feature if it’s so easy? Let me get this straight, you buy your family member a GrandPad that’s simple to use, but you won’t even help them if something goes wrong?

Another thing, if you are going to share big news about your upcoming pregnancy over Facetime video then I hope your elder family member can handle the emotional surge and doesn’t have a medical emergency right in front of you. Maybe that support button will come in handy if it ties to LifeAlert.