Happy National Double Cheeseburger Day!

~ SA Otey
Specialty burger from The Pharmacy in Nashville, TN

While there are more national days than ever before, a double cheeseburger day is one that I can support. Double cheeseburgers are everywhere but so few can do them right. It’s not simply a matter of throwing double beef on the bun because you still need quality over quantity. The benefit of double cheeseburgers is the layering. It allows you to slip extra pieces of cheese and bacon in between the patties. It’s better than having one huge meat puck and cream toppings upon. So it’s important to have slender meat patties on which to build upon your masterpiece. Here is my go-to recipe…

  • The Meat – 100% Grass-fed beef/chuck 85/15, not too lean, not too fatty, seasoned only with Salt and Pepper or with Montreal Steak Seasoning
  • The Cheese – Extra Sharp Cheddar, no question
  • The Bacon – Uncured Hickory Smoked Bacon, cooked in the oven.
  • The Sauce – I’ve been enjoying the Heinz Kansas City BBQ Sauce
  • The Bun Brioche buns because they aren’t as thick and taste a bit like cake. Toasted just before the build
  • Don’t waste any time on vegetables they only cause instability and slippage.

Pair this with a fresh batch of deep-fried tater tots and you have a meal I could eat every day for the rest of my life. No matter how much it shortens it.

What’s wrong with stevia?

~ SA Otey

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If I can remember, I try to bring my own Stevia squirt bottle or packets with me for my coffee. Since I don’t carry a purse it’s more difficult. One of my friends suggested that I carry a bugout bag just in case the feces hits the fan, but I’m not there yet. I still have hope for our country.

If I’m desperate, I will use a packet of pink because it seems to have the least adverse effects on me. Blue gives me leg cramps and yellow is just a terrible aftertaste. I’ve switched to green (Stevia) because it’s natural and I now prefer it over sugar. I don’t even like sugar anymore. I can’t stand to drink a pre-sweetened drink with sugar because it feels like I’m drinking syrup. Don’t get me started on high fructose cough syrup

Hopefully, my kids will live in a low-calorie soft drink world where everything is sweetened with stevia. At least it will cover up the taste of the polluted water.

What about socialization for homeschooled kids?

~ SA Otey
auditorium benches chairs class
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

One of the most frequently asked questions about home-schooling is socialization. I simply ask “Do you mean being allowed to talk and interact when and how they want like a normal human?”. I like to jog the public school parents’ memory of what their kids are experiencing in school right now.

  • Standing/Walking in single file down hallways
  • Sitting at a desk for 6 hours
  • Getting in trouble for doodling or passing notes
  • Having to raise your hand to speak
  • Asking permission for a drink of water
  • Asking permission to go to the toilet
  • Maybe if they are good and don’t socialize they will get a 15-30 break to socialize outside under strict supervision.

Homeschool kids get plenty of socialization such as little league, co-ops, nature walks, and of course going to all the nice local parks while other kids are in school. Also, going to major theme parks when other kids are in school is nice.

Surprising Psychological Trick People Use in Arguments – And How to Shut It Down Like a Pro!

~ SA Otey
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Dale Carnegie once said, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”. Unless that name is said over and over in a debate or argument. For instance, you are trying to defend your belief or position on a topic and the person keeps interrupting you and saying your name. “But Bob, you know….” and “Bob, you don’t realize.” Or the best of all when they chain your name together. “Bob, Bob, Bob…”

I don’t know if that bothers anyone else, but I stop them and ask them why they keep saying my name. I say, “I know my own name, did you forget who you are talking to and you have to keep reminding yourself?” Stop being so condescending.

Hating on Winnie the Pooh.

~ SA Otey
Old pooh

I’ve had this one almost as long as I’ve been alive. I got him for my first birthday. He still hasn’t disintegrated thus far. Not sure how anyone can ban Pooh from anything. He’s such a nice bear that we overlook the gorging on the honey. I mean, he even has a ride at Walt Disney’s Magic Kingdom. There isn’t any higher honor than that.

Guide to flying first class

~ SA Otey
alcohol bar black background close up
Photo by Prem Pal Singh on Pexels.com

I’ve actually only flown first class once in my life. I was booking a client trip and saw that one of the legs was cheaper if I booked first class. I saved the client $200 on airfare by doing so. However, when my expense report was turned in to the client it was rejected because I didn’t book an economy flight. Common sense < Business sense.

However here are a few tips if you do get to fly first class.

  • Stand in the ultra-premium sky priority lane upon arrival at the gate, this lets others know you are first class
  • As you pass the attendant get that Jack and Coke drink order started.
  • Here you have a few options
    1. Pretend to be in such a relaxed mode that you can barely keep your eyes open.
    2. Crack open the laptop and bang away at those keys as to show how important and busy you are.
    3. Chug that first Jack and Coke and order another
    4. Be the guy that stares at everyone who walks by. Don’t forget to smirk
  • Don’t forget to cross your legs so that you can show the economy passengers how much seat and legroom you have
  • Sit in the economy section by mistake. When someone comes along and says you have their seat, show them your ticket and say “Oh yeah, I’m in first class” Don’t forget your 3rd glass of Jack and Coke that you brought with you.

Participation trophies are for the parents

~ SA Otey
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Kids don’t want trophies, they just want after game snacks. This was confirmed once I saw a parent asking to take a picture of their kid after the baseball season ended. The parent wanted a pose with the trophy, but the kid held up his post-game hot dog instead. These participation trophies are to make the parents feel better about their kids not being good at their sport. Kids love to play the sport, they like the free snack after the game and just to get away from you for an hour or so.

Once a kid reaches a certain age the trophy needs to be earned. Trophies for kids who make the all-star team is where it should begin and end. If you have a travel ball team then hand out awards for different categories such as “best hitter” or “best defense”.  Other than that, the after-season party with free food should be enough.

Off to greener pastures…

~ SA Otey
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This is usually said when someone goes off to a new job. But it would help if you were careful. There may be a ton of cow manure that is causing the greenness. The greener pasture idea is excellent, but eventually, the greenness will fade and you will start looking for the new and shiny again. Learn to be content, unless your life is in danger with your current job or it’s causing you to lose your family. Money isn’t everything. Flexibility and PTO though is another story.

Dueling Dual Drive-Thrus

~ SA Otey
You chose the wrong line!

I’m not sure when it began, but dual Drive-Thrus is almost a deal breaker when choosing a fast food establishment. Chick-fil-A is the only successful one to date because they are a well-oil machine that does almost everything right. McDonald’s has to be the worst and here’s why.

Today I was picking up some breakfast sandwiches and chose the shorter of two lines (9:01am). That’s always a mistake because the longer line will zip through cars as the two vehicles in front of you will order one of every menu item. Once you get to the merge lane other cars think that if they jump in front of you they will get their food faster. Nope, it just causes confusion at the window. Case in point, the window person had to ask what I ordered. I just gave her the total she quoted me. I paid, then moved on to the next window (9:10am).

As I watched the digital clock display tick away minutes, I couldn’t help but think I could’ve baked biscuits, fried bacon, and cooked some eggs in this amount of time. By the time I got my order (9:29am), it was almost lunchtime. Yeah, about 30 minutes in a McDonald’s drive-thru. My kids said the food was hot and tasty, but then I explained what a queuing oven was.

Travel Ball Tournament Essentials

~ SA Otey

What do you bring when you’re at an all-day softball or baseball tournament?

A player – It doesn’t make sense to attend a tournament if you don’t have a player, maybe if you are watching someone you know. But if you are there and don’t know anyone you might cause suspicion if you start walking onto the field and high-fiving players.

A cooler – Preferably something that holds ice for more than an hour

Something to keep a cooler cold – You can put ice or these cooler shock packs

Something to keep cold – Skip the soda and beer and bring lots of water and Gatorade. Bring fruits, nuts, and other low-sugar snacks to keep you fueled.

Cooling towels – It’s better than a paper towel

Sunscreen – https://amzn.to/4iwnpooDon’t forget to apply every few hours or you will have tan lines on your face.

A Chair – Preferably one with shade if you don’t have any friends who brought a canopy.

First aid kit – Things will happen, and bleed or get swollen.

Wagon – It’s better than carrying everything

Throw some Shade – Instead of looking like a sun-dried tomato, grab yourself some brella and man-made shade

Disappointment – Don’t forget to bring your complaining face. If your child is not performing at a perfection level, let them know in front of all the other parents.